


Moonless Nights

by CeliaBowenn



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Adventure, Choose Your Own Adventure, Eventual Romance, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 80,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25860394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeliaBowenn/pseuds/CeliaBowenn
Summary: Our stories, like strands of silk, were long since intertwined. Deals made, ashes mixed with sand, secrets kept, blood and wine spilled. I only hoped to uncover the mystery - and my own memories - before it was too late. Apprentice POV with multiple routes (Asra/Julian/Nadia/Muriel/Portia/etc.) ON HIATUS.
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana), Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Apprentice/Muriel (The Arcana), Apprentice/Nadia (The Arcana), Apprentice/Portia Devorak
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. Book 1: The Magician

**Author's Note:**

> “The end is in the beginning and lies far ahead.”  
> ― Ralph Ellison

This wasn’t the beginning. Our stories, like strands of silk, were long since intertwined; deals made, ashes mixed with sand, secrets kept, blood and wine spilled…

The beginning had already passed, slipping through the gap in my memories and the fog that covered the empty streets. That night, Versuvia was quiet. Already settled into a dreamless sleep, the city was blanketed by an ethereal, milky glow. _The silence was almost tranquil._

I lingered at the window to study the dew on the glass before drawing the curtains closed. _Almost._

“I’ll miss you, Cassandra.” My master’s soft voice carried across the shop as he placed a small, cloth sack on the counter.

He went by many names in the city. Asra, the fortune teller, magician, augur, and the one who taught me everything I know about magic. Of my past... _what little I remember._ Running a hand through his thick white curls, Asra smiled at the frown that tugged at my lips. “Must you leave tonight?” I couldn’t help but ask, looking away from his amused gaze to pluck dark red fabric tucked behind a crystal ball and several glassy bottles. As I handed him the familiar scarf, Asra replied, “It’s the dead of a moonless night. The right time for beginning a journey.”

Under the flickering light of the lamp, Asra’s tanned skin and pale hair only seemed to emphasize the amethyst eyes that crinkled into another smile, “Here, take this.” Around his neck, the golden band seemed to glint as he moved to dig into his bag, already strung across his shoulder, “For you to play around with while I’m gone.” _A gift? How unusual._

“Your tarot deck?” My eyes widened at the sight. As he handed me the cards, our hands brushed; the familiar current of magic ran up my arm, though I couldn’t tell if it was from the deck or Asra himself. _This was the last thing I expected him to ever give me._

It was true our shop provided fortune telling services, amongst other things, but this particular deck was special. One of Arsa's own creations, and thus imbued with great power. I hesitated, glancing down at the unexpected gift, “You think I’m ready, Master?”

A shadow passed over his face as he pulled his hand away. “You’re still calling me that…” Asra murmured before he quickly smoothed out his features, purple eyes meeting green. _He never liked that title, refusing to explain why._ I tried to ignore the voice that reminded me that Asra knew of my past, and yet...I knew nothing about his. I could scarcely even recall when we first met, a swirl of color and noise. I’d eventually given up on trying to remember when the headaches became too much - _a gaping chasm, years missing_ \- focusing on the present instead. _The forgotten memories lingered still, like smoke in the air. Just out of reach._

“You know I can’t answer that for you.” Asra shook his head, “You’ve made incredible progress, but you still won’t let go of your doubt.” He paused, something I couldn’t quite understand in his gaze, “Do you think you’re ready, Cassandra?”

Looking down at the cards to hide the brief flash of frustration - _why don’t you ever answer my questions?_ \- a muted sigh escaped. With a resigned smile, I gestured to his gift, practically thrumming in its eagerness, “Why don’t we ask for the cards?” Asra nodded in approval, “Excellent suggestion.” 

Like the rest of the shop, the back room was draped in fabric and incense, a familiar combination of muted colors and the faint smell of cinnamon. Easily ducking under the curtain, I sat across from Asra, shuffling the cards gently before laying them across the tablecloth. The magician smiled, observing, “It’s been awhile since we’ve practiced.” I found a responding smile tugging at my own lips when I met his eyes, “Because you’re always gone?” The words slipped from my lips before I could censor the thought, grimacing as regret flashed across his features. _Is the sting of truth better than the comfort of a lie?_

“Maybe,” Asra sighed, appearing tired in the warm light of the lantern, “Someday you’ll find a real teacher….Well, I’m here now.” He shook his head, white curls dripping over his forehead and into his eyes as he leaned forwards, “Let’s see how powerful you’ve become.” _He always said I was “powerful” and “gifted”. Master Asra wasn’t a liar...but he didn’t tell the whole truth, either._

Before I could begin, something cool and smooth brushed across my ankle. “We’re not alone.” Asra smiled knowingly as I bent down, lifting the dark fabric of the tablecloth. The gentle, pale creature slowly climbed up the offered forearm, curling up and around my shoulder with practiced familiarity. The snake’s tongue flickered softly against my neck as she settled against the white linen of my shirt and under the layers of colorful cloth. She was pleased to see me...or so I believed. _It was hard to tell with Faust. As Asra’s familiar, only he could truly understand the snake...as she could him._

“If we’re all here, let’s begin.” He nodded, those violet eyes studying the cards as they slipped through my fingers. It was simple enough to ignore the sharp yet silent reminder - _I had yet to find a familiar that suited me_ \- as I took a deep breath, clearing my mind. 

My hand was drawn to the uppermost card, flipping it over. The image of an elegant owl was on the other side, with curious red eyes and clothed in shades of purple and white. “The High Priestess.” I murmured, just loud enough for the occupants of the room to hear.

“And what is she telling you?” Master Asra leaned forwards, eyes glimmering with excitement. _Expectant._ “Is she speaking to you now?” Something I’d learned with the cards was that they did speak, just not in any human tongue. Nevertheless, the whisper of magic was gentle, an undercurrent of energy that gathered just below the skin. _Intangible, but impossible to deny._ My mind was clear when the answer arose, spilling from my parted lips, “You’ve forsaken her.” 

The magician paused, straightening as his gaze dropped to the displayed card, “I have?” Something shifted in his tone, cautious.

“Yes,” I continued, allowing the words to escape in another breath, “You’ve pushed her away and buried her voice. She calls out to you, but you won’t listen. Master, if you don’t listen to her-” A shark knock startled the three of us, Faust’s grip tightening around my neck. _A customer? At this time?_

Our eyes met for a brief second; the moment was gone, dissipated into the evening air. With a quiet sigh, Asra pulled himself to his feet, wrapping the scarf around his shoulder once more, “Did you forget to put out the lantern again? Just as well…I can’t stay any longer.” 

The door in the back of the shop was fairly well hidden, covered by various drapes and a shelf precariously full of spices. Faust slipped from my arm to coil around Asra’s wrist, seemingly content. With one hand on the doorknob, the white-haired magician turned to me, “Well then…”

Another knock broke the momentary silence, and a strange smile - _almost bitter, regretful_ \- lifted his lips, “Take care of yourself, Cassandra.” Whatever he wanted to add was left unsaid, hanging in the air between us as he left. _Just like that, he’s gone...again._

A third knock, almost frantic against the aging wood, echoed through the now-empty space. _And so, the journey continues._


	2. Book 2: The High Priestess

It was with the faintest stirring of agitation that I peer through the peephole of the front door, into the dark. 

_ Who could possibly be here at this hour? Likely a particularly impatient customer, judging by the rapping.  _

From the small, circular opening in the door, a mysterious figure was outlined in the glow of the lantern outside. _Asra was right,_ _I must’ve forgotten._ Graceful hands twisted together, jewels catching the light as they moved. Although their face was shadowed by a hood, the shimmer of silk was impossible to mistake. _Someone of wealth...but what were they doing here, in this part of the city?_ Finally, I opened the door, allowing them to step inside. 

“Forgive me for the hour, but…” The figure was a tall woman, her voice rich, soothing. As I closed the door -  _ a small, final click _ \- the stranger moved to unwind the shawl from her neck, still speaking, “I will not suffer another sleepless night. Please, you must read the cards for me.” Even in the dim light of the shop, her face was visible, “It has to be you.” 

Startling ruby eyes,  _ and lips _ , turned towards me, draped in the nicest fabrics I’d ever seen.  _ Or remember.  _ Pearls and emeralds practically dripped from long hair that danced around her shoulders and waist.  When my heart all but leapt into my throat, I couldn’t tell if it was from her stunning appearance or the sudden recognition; standing in our shop at midnight was none other than the Countess of Vesuvia. 

Schooling my expression into one of acceptance, I wondered if I should bow.  _ Versuvia wasn’t built on royalty, but the Countess was essentially royalty. It wouldn't bode well to upset her.  _ “You’ve come to the right place,” The words felt strange against my tongue, but it was the truth. 

_ Despite the amount of proclaimed fortune tellers in the market, Asra was a rare example of true magic. It must’ve been what drew her here.  _ “So I’m told,” The Countess replied, something unintelligible in her gaze, “Your reputation precedes you. Beggars and nobles alike...the people of this city whisper your name in wonder. Though in my dream you were...different. ” _ A dream? _

I was thankful for the control over my emotions as I realized, with a small tug of panic, that she believed me to be Asra himself.  _ If she only knew that I was a mere apprentice. The question is, do I let her believe a lie?  _

“Asra is...gone, for the moment,” I was finally able to reply, the words sticking in my throat. Likely too quick, I added, “Countess.” 

Her gaze wandered around the shop before settling on me again, seemingly in thought, “No matter. I come with a proposal.”  _ Was this a trap of sorts? The Countess wasn’t known for thinking highly of fortune tellers…Rumors spoke of her disbelief in magic. Ironic, given Asra’s deeply woven presence in the city.  _

”Proposal?” I felt a small frown tug at my lips as an amused smile crossed her own. “Not very talkative, are you? Nervous, perhaps?” The words coaxed a small rush of embarrassment and heat to my cheeks, and I was suddenly grateful for the warm lighting. “You needn’t be. I require very little of you. Be my guest at the palace for a short while.”  _ What?  _ As she spoke, the Countess moved around the room, eyes drifting to various objects. A small crystal ball with a golden base. The cleaned skull of a deer. Her fingers skimmed across a pile of scarves draped over a spare chair. “You will be afforded every luxury, of course. It is as my dreams foretold. I ask only that you bring your skill...and the arcana.”  _ Dream foretold? And the arcana... _ The term lingered, uncomfortably close to familiar... _ Where have I heard that before?  _

The choice was easy enough. 

_ Who would deny the Countess, after all? Not much of a reason to, regardless.  _ I bowed my head as she glanced up, “I am at your service, Countess.” In return, I was given a pleased smile and a small nod, “You have chosen wisely, magician. I will alert the guard to expect you tomorrow. But before that…” She took one step forward, tilting her head in my direction, “I want to see these talents of yours for myself. Shall we do a reading?” 

Her gaze booked no resistance. Under her imperious eyes, I ushered her quietly to the backroom. 

I hardly expected to read anyone’s cards that evening, let alone my master and the Countess of the city.  _ What a strange turn of events. Moonless night, indeed.  _

Her curious gaze darted around the small space as she gracefully seated herself across from me before her gaze landed on the cards.  _ Our shop must seem drab in comparison to what she is accustomed to.  _ “Go on,” Her next smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. As I shuffled the cards, the magic tingled against my fingers, running up my arms.  _ Expectant. _ Instead of watching, the Countess folded her hands, closing her eyes in a strange position.  _ As if praying, but for what? And to whom?  _

Once more, my fingers brushed against a card to my right. The only sound in the room was my voice as I listened. The fox-like creature seemed to stare at me from the table, violet eyes and blue flames. 

“...The Magician.” As I spoke, the Countess opened her eyes. Leaning forwards, the lamplight reflected the scarlet in her eyes as she studied the card. “How very appropriate.” This time, there was a dryness to her tone and smile, “And what does he hold for me?” 

The answer came as easy as breathing. “You have a plan. One that is long in the making. Years upon years. Now, you seek to set it in motion.” “And? Should I move?” Her gaze pinned me to my seat, and I had to remind myself to breathe. 

Magic thrummed in my veins, and I lifted my chin to meet her silent challenge, “Yes. Act now, everything has fallen into place.” 

“Say no more.” The Countess was on her feet before I could respond, giving the Magician one last glance. I scarcely had time to stand as she threw back the curtains, striding purposefully towards the front. “Your fortunes are simple,” Her voice echoed across the space as I followed, “Much the same as others I’ve heard. And yet-” As she wound the silk shawl around her, red eyes met mine, “You are the first to pique my interest.” 

Her lips twitched at my expression before flickering towards the door.  _ Right, Countess.  _ I could almost  _ feel  _ her silent amusement when I nearly tripped over my feet to open the door. “Until tomorrow, then. Pleasant dreams, Cassandra.” 

The Countess disappeared with a final smile, gliding into the mist under the guise of night. For a moment, I stared into the space where the enigmatic, mysterious woman vanished.  _ What would the Countess possibly want with me, a mere apprentice?  _

_ Moreover...how did she know my name?  _


	3. Book 3: The Hanged Man

After the Countess had left, I closed the door with a quiet  _ click _ . 

For a moment, I leaned against the wood, finding comfort in the magic swirling beneath my fingertips.  _ Quite a night. Now I can- _ “Strange hours for a shop to keep.” A low, drawling voice called from behind.  _ Who said that?  _ Whipping around, my gaze darted uselessly across the shop.  _ It was like chasing shadows in the dark. Futile.  _

Heart pounding against my chest, I stepped into the middle of the room.  _ Did I imagine it?  _ “Behind you.” The voice whispered, confirming my worst fears.  _ There was someone else here.  _

Forcing myself to move slowly, I turned, trying to inch towards the nearest counter.  Sure enough, a looming figure leant against the very door I had locked, arms crossed. 

Their posture was unusually casual and were strangely dressed for a break-in; the stranger wore nothing but black and red with a beak-shaped mask covering their features. “Now, sources say that this is the witch’s lair.”  _ It sounded like a man, their voice was too deep to be otherwise.  _

“So, who might  _ you _ be?” The masked intruder advanced with an almost feral grace, footsteps silent. 

_ Thank the stars that, somehow, Asra prepared me for situations like this. Wait for it…. _

Tension coiled in my body, heart thrumming as he moved within five feet.  _ Now!  _

Without hesitation, I pushed myself forward to swing at their head. “Ah ha!” The man ducked, laughing as he raised his fists in the air, “You’ve got guts. En garde, then. Let’s see what you got.”  _ Who was this person?  _

The frustration from earlier rose as I stepped back, hand brushing along the counter beside us. With the other, I launched a magical attack - a surprisingly simple spell - at the intruder. “Oh, has he been teaching you his tricks?” 

Somehow, he ducked  _ again _ , closing the space between us with long strides. My fingers closed around familiar glass, adrenaline coursing through me. “Unfortunately for you, I’ve seen them all befo-” 

The bottle I threw hit its mark - “Ack!” - as the man stumbles backwards, mask clattering loudly to the floor. Glass shattered around him, crunching underneath his feet as he attempted to right himself. My racing heart stopped when he lifted his gaze to meet mine, a singular grey eye meeting green.  _ I knew this man. _

“You  _ do _ have guts,” His expression was almost approving, even with an eyepatch and blood dripping down his forehead. 

The intruder ran a hand through thick, auburn hair, wincing.  _ I knew this man once. Everyone did. What did they call him?...It was yet another thing I couldn’t remember.  _ Slowly, I placed the second bottle back onto the counter, the man’s eyes following the movement. 

_ From what Asra told me, the plague swept across Vesuvia viciously; before the Count passed, he and the Countess worked together to find a cure, bringing doctors and magicians alike in the hopes of finding a cure.  _ It explained the bird-like mask on the floor. Such masks had been stuffed with herbs, keeping the plague away.  _ The Red Plague, as it had been called, dropped the population to an all time low until the infamous Masquerade, where the Count had been murdered...by none other than this man, this...doctor.  _

_ Or so the story went.  _

Bewildered by the night’s events, I found it difficult to formulate a proper response.  _ Why was he here? In Vesuvia, in this shop?  _

“Quickly now,” Despite his injury - blood dripped down the side of his face, soaking into the eyepatch - the doctor moved towards me once again. 

This time, I found myself trapped against the counter, his gloved hands on either side. The frantic beating inside my chest returned when his piercing grey eyes looked down at me. A gloved hand brushed against my shoulder as he lifted a strand of my hair. Breath catching in my throat, I felt his fingers run through the amethyst locks, strangely gentle.

“Where is the witch?” He whispered. 

_ What did he want with Asra? How did he know the magician?...And why was he so ridiculously tall?  _ To meet his challenging gaze, I had to tilt my neck back, ignoring the slight rush of fear and something else entirely. 

“I can’t say.” My response was only partially honest, but I tried to appear confident.  _ This man was supposedly a convicted murderer...in my shop...at midnight...cornered...alone.  _ His expression darkened, lips thinning in displeasure. “I thought you might say that,” His grip on the counter tightened. 

For a second, I considered ducking underneath to escape the impending anger.  _ Why hadn’t I moved, already?  _

However, the doctor simply stepped backwards. Resigned, the unusual man picked up the mask, dusting pieces of broken glass from it.  _ That was unexpected.  _ Without glancing up at where I stood, frozen, he wiped his bloodied brow, “Well, there’s no sense in wasting the visit. You’re a fortune teller, aren’t you?” His grey gaze met mine, “Tell my fortune, and I’ll leave you in peace.”  _ Wait...what? _

It took a moment to recover from the sudden shift in mood, the abrupt request. When I didn't reply - lips parted in shock - the man gestured to somewhere behind me, “That _ is _ what that room is for, isn’t it?” 

Following his hand, I noticed that he was pointing at none other than the room I’d done readings for both Asra and the Countess. Unsure of his motivation, I only nodded hesitantly. With his hand in the air, the doctor sounded exasperated, “After you, then.”  _ He didn’t seem like he was going to attack again, not after that. But… _ I remained in place, tension coiled in my limbs.  _ I’d rather not have to throw another bottle.  _

His loud sigh cut across the silence as he strode past, leaving his mask on the counter to drop himself into the nearest chair. 

I tried to ignore the burning curiosity as I followed. 

“You know,” The man appeared out of place, looming almost fearsomely over the small table as his head brushed against hanging fabrics, “I used to love places like this.” His eye tracked my every movement as I cautiously sat across from him. 

“I..I don’t know your name.” The words fell between us softly. The doctor’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he asked, “My name?” 

“For the reading,” I paused, gesturing down at the cards, “I need your name.” 

Strangely enough, his expression shifted to one of embarrassment. Rubbing the back of his neck, his response was uncharacteristically nervous, “Oh, ah. Right.” Meeting my eyes, the man grinned once more - his face appeared flushed under the lamplight - when he added, “Call me Julian.” 

_ What an unusual man.  _ Pulling my gaze away from his features, I shuffled the cards for the third time that night. 

The one that drew my attention felt like dread and... _ nostalgia? _ Unlike the previous readings, nothing came to me. No message slipping from my lips, just the pounding of blood in my ears. 

“Death.” My voice was louder than I anticipated, echoing between us. 

His hand and expression dropped abruptly, lips twisting into a snarl. “Death?  _ Death? _ ” 

Shivers ran up my spine as the doctor laughed, icy cold and just as sharp, “You’ve got to be joking.” 

His eye traced the raven symbol on the card, following my lingering fingers up to my face.  _ His gaze was...fervent, shadowed by a swirling cacophony of unspoken emotions.  _ Before I could consider speaking -  _ what would I even say, in this moment? _ \- he violently slammed his hands against the table. Some of the cards shuddered, falling to the ground as he rose to his feet. 

Auburn hair covered his expression when he leaned against the small table, chest heaving. Something in my own chest ached at the pain in his voice as Julian finally ground out, “Death cast her gaze on this wretch and turned away. She has no interest in an abomination like me.” 

Once again, I was left to scramble to my feet as the man ducked out of the backroom. “Wait, that’s not what Death means, it-” He interrupted before I could finish the sentence, shaking his head, “No, no, my fate is sealed.” _ He was misunderstanding the card.  _

Julian met my eyes, lips curling into another, bitter smile, “You’ve been hospitable, so I’ll let you in on a secret. Your witch friend will be back for you. He’s taught you his tricks, and you may even say that he cares for you. But when he returns…” His gaze returned to the mask in his hands, staring into its glassy red eyes.  _ Was he warning me about Master Asra?  _

With the dried blood and eyepatch, the man looked haunted. Pale.  _ What exactly happened during the Masquerade?  _

_ Was this truly the man who murdered the Count of Versuvia? It was said that the Count was found in his bed as flames licked at the room, bursting out of the door.  _ Despite the image of fire, I felt a wave of cold wash over me. 

_ Foreboding.  _

“When he returns,” Julian finally continued, “Seek me out, for your own sake. That creature is far more dangerous than you know.” His gaze was startlingly intense in the low lamplight. 

“Why-” Before I could finish my sentence, Julian interrupted, “Well, then. The hour is late.”

Fitting the mask over his features, blood still on his face, the auburn-haired man nodded in my direction, “Don’t let him fool you, shopkeep.” 

The door slammed behind him as his loping figure was disguised by the early morning fog, the faintest of light filtering above the rooftops. 

_ What...just happened? _

Sinking in the nearest chair, I wondered if there was something in the tea I’d drank earlier. 


	4. Book 4: The Empress (Day)

The inky blackness shifted into an endless sky, nothing more than a slim, green line to indicate a horizon. Beside me stood a white-haired man on the back of a beast. Glancing up at Asra, his purple eyes sparkled in the unknown light. "Master, where are we?" I asked, a low noise drifting across the space.

Behind him, dark clouds bore down on the vast landscape, a shifting sea of rust-colored sand. _The smell of iron. Of blood._

Suddenly, there was a perfect black road, smooth as stone. A chuckle returned my gaze to the magician when he jumped to the ground. "I dare not tell you," It was impossible to tell if it is his voice or the thunder that rumbled in my chest, "If you did, you'd have to promise to never seek this path. Not even I am such a hypocrite as that, Cassandra." Purple met green as his hands hovered over my shoulders, hesitant.

My sight was pulled back to the road, where no light reflected.

_I was sure I've never walked this road before...it reminded me of an old nightmare._

I strained to see where it led, but the path kept changing. Hands brushing against my exposed skin. "Soon, there will be a crossroads." Unable to find the end of the path, I turned to my Master, my only confidant, "Crossroads? Where do they lead?" There was an unfamiliar smile on his lips when he shrugged, stepping backwards. The thunder intensified, rumbling across the horizon.

"Depends on which one you take. Now...rest." Vivid eyes watched my world return to darkness.

I awoke to the weight of the half-strewn blankets and the nagging feeling that I was missing something important. _Something about a choice._

Dawn's light streamed through the dusty windows, casting soft shadows across the room. _It felt too spacious without Asra._

With a sigh, I pulled myself out of bed. _Oh, well. Time to head for the palace._ I braided my waist-length hair with practiced ease, then slipped on my traveling cloak as I stepped outside, dragging the heavy door shut behind me. Pausing, I glanced around the empty street and turned back to the shop.

 _After last night's intrusion_...The three locks clicked satisfactorily as I moved them into place.

Placing my hand on the grain of the door, I whispered a quick, cross-me-not spell. It was one of the first that Master Asra taught me. _As if he knew he was going to leave._ The thought was too somber for early morning, so I focused on the spell. Beneath my palm, the wood began to glow, intricate and familiar designs dancing across the surface. White whorls sunk into the door, slowly fading from the dark wood. _There._ Pulling my cloak tighter around myself, I turned towards the city.

The air was thick with fog, much as it had been the night before. Without the heat of day, the cobblestone street felt suspended in time, a chill lingering around my shoulders.

Although I'd just checked my surroundings - _empty, the shop safely locked_ \- there was a strange sensation at the nape of my neck, a subtle whisper.

_Someone is near. Someone is...right beside me?_

To my right, a lone figure blocked out the dawn's gentle glow, broad shoulders stretching across the sky. They were definitely human, though their form was larger than any person I'd ever seen. They shifted, and I blinked at the sudden light pricking my eyes. _What were they doing there?_ _Waiting...but for what?_

"Excuse me," I cleared my throat lightly, the first words of a new day. My eyes met murky green. _Like moss._

A rattle echoed through the street, reminding me of chains. The figure remained silent and still. _No response. Fine_...

Squaring my shoulders, I marched past them, ignoring the thunder beneath my rib-cage. A weight on my shoulder - heavier than I expected - caused me to freeze, fists clenching. _What now?_

The voice was a deep, rumbling noise in my ears, "He will return, uninvited." _He? He who?_

"He will offer you an escape when you need it most...Turn it away." "Or what?" I asked, wondering where the question had come from.

The figure seemed to growl, a hint of anger creeping into their tone. "Or you will fall into his hand, just like the rest of us." The weight on my shoulder lifted, but the chill remained underneath my skin.

 _Listen._ A different voice whispered, barely audible. I shivered, listening to the shuffle of metal and cloth as the figure disappeared from the corner of my eye. _And then, silence...Now, go._ Without looking behind me, I hurried towards the center of Vesuvia, where the Countess awaited my arrival.

By the time I reached the marketplace, daylight had seeped through the gaps of the wooden planks and colorful cloth above my head. The faint sound of laughter and bartering slowly grew louder as I approached, the walkway groaning beneath my feet. The consistent routine was a familiar comfort, especially after the strange encounter in front of the shop.

I wasn't sure who they meant, but it had certainly been menacing. _I could recognize a warning when I heard one._ Ducking under a fallen plank, I wondered if they were referring to Master Asra. I felt mildly guilty at the notion, and yet... _Who else could they be talking about?_ _There was so much I didn't know._

"Cassandra!" A recognizable voice called my name, and I glanced to my right, already smiling.

"Have you eaten?" The dark-skinned man grinned, lowering his hand as I approached, "I've got that pumpkin loaf you like in the oven. Won't be long now. Come, sit!" On impulse, I sniffed the air around the bakers shop; the sweet smell was almost cruel in my hunger, spices from nearby shops mixing with the pumpkin. _It was too late now to eat. Couldn't be late for the Countess._ I covered my growling stomach with one hand, slowly shaking my head.

_But it smelled amazing..._

"Not today," I tried not to breathe in the tempting smell, "but thank you, Nasir." "If you insist," He flashed a knowing grin in my direction, "Tell Asra not to sleep in for too long!" Disguising my displeasure at the comment, I simply nodded and continued on my way. _No point in explaining that he wasn't here...again._

With the morning rush of peasant workers, the crowd had thickened into an nearly unsurpassable surge. _Maybe for those who didn't know the area._ Feeling grateful for the little memories I did have of the lively market, I weaved through the throng of silk, glass, and other expensive wares. _Definitely closer to the palace, now._ "Excuse me," I automatically murmured, almost bumping into a broad-shouldered woman with arms full of clanking pans.

"Morning, Cassandra!" A light chuckle came from behind, the faintest hint of mint in the air. _I recognized that voice._ "Inas, morning." I smiled at the sun-speckled woman, already carrying a round satchel. It sagged in her grip, heavy with various fruits and vegetables from the family garden. "Where's Asra?" Darting around a tourist, Inas moved to walk alongside me.

I shrugged, and Inas grinned knowingly, "Off on another mysterious journey, I assume? Did he tell you where this time?"

 _Inas was likely the only friend I had aside from Asra. She claimed the three of us were the best of friends before, but remained just as frustratingly vague about my past._ The disgruntled expression on my face was apparently enough of an answer, for the brunette laughed, stepping around a pair of children running past. "That rascal! Keeping secrets from his prized pupil, tsk tsk." Inas shook her head dramatically.

The words were in jest, but there was a bitterness to my response, "It's always like that." She gave me a pitying look that, briefly, ignited the coiled frustration in my chest.

_It used to drive me crazy, his non-answers. I've learned to live with them, but sometimes, I wonder…_

"You two are so complicated," She sighed, the smile finally dropping. I shrugged again, eliciting another roll of her dark eyes.

"So, what about _your_ mysterious journey then?" Inas asked when we paused, allowing a red-haired woman to run past us. _What?_ By the glimmer in her eyes, the sly woman already knew. "There's been whispers all morning," She explained as we moved through the crowd, "They say the Countess's escort rode into the neighborhood 'round dawn. Word is she was wandering about like a lost lamb 'til she found your door." Her curious gaze burned into mine, but I remained silent.

In a town like this, gossip would spread like wildfire. _Even with Inas…especially with Inas._

"Fine, fine, keep your secrets." The brunette sighed again, shooting a frown in my direction, "This is where I pop off. Good luck at the palace, Cassandra." I returned the farewell wave, watching the woman disappear into one of the nicer stands. The smell of mint lingered in the air for a moment, and I turned to - an impossibly loud _caw_ rang in my ear.

_What was that?_

I winced, rubbing my neck at how fast I jerked my head up. Overhead, a raven met my gaze. It's fathomless eyes seemed to slowly turn to something behind me, just over my shoulder. _Curious._ Casting a subtle glance backwards, I felt my heart stutter in shock.

"It's him," I breathed, then quickly made sure that nobody noticed.

 _The Doctor, Julian, was moving casually through the masses, weaving past merchants and families with ease._ I frowned. _And no mask, either. Did he want to get caught? It had been years, but not long enough for the city to forget._ Something compelled me to walk towards him, and before I knew it, I was running after the strange man. It wasn't easy, given the traffic of the marketplace moving against me. My shoulder slammed into someone, but I scarcely noticed the man or his accompanying shout.

Suddenly, the raven called once more, and our eyes locked. _He saw me._

I immediately froze in my tracks, pulse quickening as the Doctor tilted his head, mouth opening to speak - _Ouch._

Sharp pain radiated from my toes, and I stumbled backwards as a wooden cart passed by. The overwhelming scent of garlic made me cough, waving my hand in front of my face. Frowning, I leaned forwards, attempting to see around the cart. Unfortunately, the Doctor was gone, no sign of his coat or auburn hair in sight. _Where did he go?_ I blinked, then frowned to no one in particular.

The wooden wheel across my foot had snapped me out of...whatever just occurred. _What was I doing? Why would I chase him, put myself in danger? And if I had caught up to him...what then?_ Glancing at the sunlight streaming through the buildings, I shook my head. _I would be late, at this rate._

I walked past a narrow stairwell, where a girl was bent, tending to a small group of braying animals. Before I could turn the next corner, something caught my eye. _Was that...?_


	5. Book 4: The Empress (Day) contd.

Tucked between two stands was a fortune teller's booth, silver moons adorning the thick tapestries draped over the entrance. _How nostalgic._ I recalled Asra describing how we met in a booth just like it, before we opened the shop on the outskirts of town. A patron slipped out of the booth, conversing enthusiastically with an elderly woman. _The fortune teller, I assume._

"Before I forget, what are my lucky numbers today?" The patron asked, hands clasped. _I wondered if that was what I had looked like, when Asra found me._ The notion tasted sour in my mouth. "Three, six, seven, nine." The fortune teller smiled indulgently, pale eyes slowly turning in my direction. I stepped to the side to allow another cart to pass without incident, moving away from the booth and -

I crashed into someone, sending me stumbling to the side.

Able to catch myself before I fell, I watched in mild horror as the woman's basket tumbled to the dirt. "Oh, perfect! As if I wasn't already late."

Several pomegranates rolled across the ground at our feet, and I immediately dropped to my knees. _This is why you must pay attention at all times, Cassandra._ I could practically hear Asra's calm voice, chastising. _These weren't just any fruit. It was unusual to see this many, as most people couldn't afford to buy them in bulk._ I noticed one of the luxurious fruits a few feet away, directly in the path of an incoming hoof. At the last second, I grabbed it, using my shirt to rub the dirt off of it.

"I'm terribly sorry," I managed, holding out the pomegranate to the unfortunate stranger. "Ooh, thank you!" The curly-haired woman grinned, taking the fruit, "How sweet of you to help, even after I bumped into you in the first place." _Had she?_ I hadn't been paying enough attention to remember.

Another flash of pink caught my eye, and I turned to rescue the next awaiting pomegranate. The woman did the same, and together, we hunted the rest down, maneuvering through the steadily increasing foot traffic. _Nearly trampled in the process, but we recovered all of them._

"I can't thank you enough," She smiled, balancing the newly filled basket on her hip. The kindly woman glanced down at the fruit, biting her lip. "I probably shouldn't do this, but…" With stubby fingers, the stranger plucked a fruit from the basket, holding it out to me. At the sight, my stomach grumbled again. "Oh, I couldn't possibly -" I began, but she shook her head and interjected, "I insist. Take care, alright?" With a cheeky wink, the ginger woman disappeared into the crowd. _How sweet of her._

"That was Portia, you know." Someone commented, and I turned to meet the pale eyes of the fortune teller. She coughed, an almost harrowing, rattling sound, then pointed in the direction that the pomegranate woman left. "She's the Countess's favorite." My brow furrowed, and the fortune teller laughed, "Favorite servant, that is. As for you…" I suddenly felt much too vulnerable as the elderly woman eyed the dirt on my clothing and loose braid, "You're a wanderer, yes? Wouldn't you like to hear what fortune the fates have spun for you?"

_No, thanks._

I resisted the temptation to frown, stepping closer to avoid a large family passing by. The fortune teller grinned, revealing two golden teeth. _Asra told me about those who claimed to read the cards for money._ Even though I could feel the time wearing down - _I needed to be at the palace, and soon_ \- there was a silent challenge in the woman's gaze.

"All right." I nodded.

_A quick stop, and that was it._

The fortune teller clapped her hands together, eagerly waving me towards the entrance. Inside, the air was foggy, thick with the scents of amber and patchouli. As I settled on the small seat, the woman hobbled to the opposite side of the cloth-laden table. "What is your name, wanderer?" She revealed the golden teeth once more.

"Cassandra." I answered simply, studying the unusually large crystal ball between us. Unlike the one in Asra's shop, I couldn't hear any whispers from the murky glass. "Cassandra, Cassandra, of course." She hummed, draping her hands over the item. The woman abruptly tensed, lifting her gaze. "Wait, Cassandra?" The woman croaked, face paleing. _Why was she looking at me like that?_

"Cassandra?" She repeated. Wide, watery eyes met mine. "Asra's Cassandra?"

I could feel my ears warm, and I nodded, wishing I could hide myself in my cloak. _Maybe I should've turned down the reading._

The fortune teller shook her head, her previous confidence vanished, ""It's, uh," She stammered, "It's an honor to meet you! Yes, it's a great...great honor." Her fingers tapped the crystal ball, and she nodded to herself, "Um, yes, your fortune, uh…"

My lips twitched in amusement when the woman pressed her nose to the crystal, going cross-eyed. _That wasn't how you read a crystal ball. Had Asra's name thrown her off this much?_ Her painted lips spread into a nervous grin, "I see, I see…." Just as quickly, the grin dropped from her face. For some reason, my stomach turned at the change in expression. "I see fire." _That was vague._ "A dark place," The woman leaned backwards, "engulfed in flames. Despair, darkness, and blazing destruction!"

_Oh. Lovely._

My expression must've revealed my skepticism, for the fortune teller clicked her nails against the glass, "But, but, I also see...love!"

I raised an eyebrow, and the woman nodded rapidly, looking up at me once more. "Love is definitely on your horizon! I see it, rising like the sun for you! There will be a fall from a high tower, but your love will be your savior. A red-hot rising star of passion!" _Okay….it was time to go._

Without another word, I rose from the seat, dropping a coin on the table on my way out. The fortune teller's cackling voice followed me out of the booth, babbling about blazing desires and prophetic threats. _That...had been a waste of time._ I wondered why I felt so disappointed.

As the sun journeyed across the sky, I finally reached the end of my own travels.

Step by step, I climbed the seemingly infinite staircase to the palace. The higher I ascended, the fewer travelers I encountered along the way. _A good thing, as I cannot be distracted again._ By the time I reached the top, however, my legs were burning and I could barely walk. _How did the castle servants do this every day?_

"Who goes there?" Two guards in red stood before the massive set of gates, twisting metal rising into the afternoon sky. _I almost hadn't noticed them, they were standing so still._ Lifting my chin, I tried to sound confident, "My name is Cassandra Knight. I have come at the request of the Countess."

The guards exchanged a solemn look; one shook their head silently, and I grimaced. _Is there a certain code or something I should've known to get inside?_

"You!" A familiar voice laughed, and I glanced over my shoulder.

The pomegranate woman, Portia, was gleaming with sweat, vibrant red hair practically melted to her shoulders. "What's going on here?" Her warm gaze shifted to the pair of guards, who automatically straightened. _The fortune teller got one thing right._

"Do you know this miscreant, Portia?" The stouter of the two eyed me suspiciously, and I frowned. _That was rude._ Portia appeared to react similarly, scowling at the man. "That miscreant," Her voice was dripping in scorn, "is the Countess's guest this evening. So you might want to watch your tone, Randolph." The guard, Randolph, visibly swallowed and nodded.

The ginger woman turned, sending me a sweet smile. "Please, let me smooth this insult and accompany you across the bridge. We'll be arriving right on time." With another glare at the pair, the guards rushed to open the towering gates for us. "After you," Portia swept her hand out towards the open path. I nodded, keeping my composure...even as a thrill ran down my spine.

_The palace was right there._

As we walked past the guards, I heard the gates slam shut behind us.

_No turning back, now._


	6. Book 4: The Empress (Night)

Clouds drifted across the sky, surrounding me on every side. I walked alongside Portia to the palace, quietly nodding along to the woman’s friendly chatter.

As we arrived at a long bridge, the realization hit me; the sky felt larger than normal because it was the most I’d seen of it at once.

_Awake, at least._

In town, roofs were strung with drying clothes and wooden planks, thick beams of stone that arched across our heads. The marketplace was even worse, packed with people and wares alike. Strangely enough, I missed the comforting noises and packed crowds. _Here, I felt...exposed._

The sun peered above a small cluster of clouds, forming a golden halo around the towering palace. _It was beautiful, if not slightly daunting._

Towers stretched towards the stars, and each half of the palace appeared to be in perfect symmetry. From here, I could see the light bounce off of an overwhelming array of stained-glass windows.

“Miss Knight,” Portia pulled me from my musings, and I blinked. _Pay attention, Cassandra._ Asra’s voice seemed to whisper.

“Call me Cassandra.” I replied, making sure to smile politely. Asra often spoke for the both of us.

I knew he sometimes wished I would speak more - _there was a sadness in his eyes when he realized that I wasn’t the Cassandra he had known, that I never would be_ \- but words weren’t always necessary. _You could still convey something with the slump of shoulders or upturn of lips. With the fading light from purple eyes and an age-old sigh._

Still, I was thankful for Portia.

She was kind and enthusiastic, and had arrived at exactly the right time. I found it funny that I had run into the same woman on my journey to the palace. _Coincidences are messages not yet deciphered._ I mentally recited one of Asra’s lessons, studying the bridge before us.

Our footsteps echoed as we began to cross, but I hesitated, causing Portia to stop short.

_There was something in the water._

Below, a swirling mass moved below the surface. I spotted something long and glowing, like a bloodless ghost. “Something caught your eye?” Portia leant over the side, shifting the basket to her opposite hip. “Ah, I see.” Her gaze turned to me, something mischievous in the upturn of her lips, “Do you like animals, Cassandra?” 

“I love animals,” I automatically responded, but I couldn't bring myself to smile. _Not that animal._

Something about the ribboned creature unnerved me.

_Perhaps that’s all it was, nerves._

“Oh, you do?” For some reason, the ginger woman looked surprised, then laughed. “You’ll definitely enjoy your stay here. The palace is home to all sorts of excotic pets.” My mind flashed to Faust, Asra’s familiar.

“Buuut,” Portia grimaced, nodding down at the swirling creatures, “you don’t want to get too friendly with that one. It’s a vampire eel.” She wiggled her eyebrows dramatically, face breaking out into a grin, “Imported from distant swamps. No eyes or ears, but they’re still pretty graceful, don’t you think?” I nodded despite myself.

Portia shrugged, “Unless you splash around a lot, they won’t even bother you. But you wouldn’t want to catch a bite.” 

“Bite?” I repeated, eyebrows furrowing.

The glowing creatures disappeared under the bridge, out of sight. “If they bite, they don’t stop drinking until the body is dry.”

_Oh._

She paused, noticing my uneasy expression, “Don’t worry, they only bite if you start to trash around and panic. So, in the very unlikely event that you fall in,” She winked in an attempt to cheer me up, “Don’t panic!”

“Right,” I raised an eyebrow at the strange woman. Portia chuckled, then ushered me forwards, “Let’s keep moving. Don’t want to be late for the Countess, after all.” _Oh, the Countess._ Fresh nerves swarmed in my stomach at the reminder. _Asra would be better suited for this._ I couldn’t help but think, frowning. _I’m only his apprentice, still learning. What could I possibly have to offer to the Countess of Versuvia?_

As we approached the double doors - just as elegant as the rest of the palace, with white and gold swirls dancing across the metal plating - my mouth was dry. _What awaited me, in this fortress...so far from home, from the familiarity of the shop and town?_

 _If I walk through these doors..._ I took another step, studying Portia’s back as she continued forwards. _Will I walk out again?_

Her raised fist made contact with the door in three, skull-rattling strikes. _Three knocks._ As the last echo faded, the doors swung inward. Without any further hesitation, I was swept inside, wondering if I would ever return. 

The interior of the palace was more breath-taking than outside. My eyes jumped from chandelier to chandelier, taking in the countless details of gold and marble as we hurried down various corridors. The ceiling arched over us, clean, polished stone gleaming in the warm light. Every servant we passed wore the same, brilliant uniform.

“Welcome,” A stout woman smiled. “Welcome,” A rather tall gentleman bowed. “Welcome,” A girl younger than myself greeted us, her hair pulled into a tight bun at the nape of her neck. _The chaos of the market was nothing compared to this._ I focused on breathing slow and evenly. 

Scarcely four feet tall, an elegantly dressed man darted in front of us, sweeping into a low bow. His velvet cap was only kept on his head by a single hand, the accompanying blue feather brushing against the marble floor. The gesture made me uncomfortable, but I forced the polite smile to my lips. When the man rose, his eyes turned to the woman beside me. “Impeccable timing.” His voice was lighter than I had expected, more feminine, “The second course will be served shortly.” _Second course?_

“Her ladyship is seated in the dining room.” “Perfect,” Portia sighed in relief, handing off the fruit basket to the small servant, “Tell the kitchen that our guest has arrived.” “Yes, right away.” The chamberlain nodded, slipping behind a panel in the wall that I hadn’t noticed before. It slid seamlessly shut, revealing no trace of the door to begin with.

_Wait, dining room? Kitchen?_

Portia clapped her hands, drawing my attention. “Looks like we’ll be right on time!” _Thank the stars._ “I’ll show you to the dining room.” I swallowed, hand clutched against my chest. _Would I be…?_

The red-haired servant leaned closer, lips twitching in amusement, “What?” She placed one hand on her hip, tilting her head, “Don’t tell me you thought we wouldn’t feed you?” I felt my cheeks growing warm at the following laughter, tempted to keep walking and leave the woman behind. _As if._ Portia, still giggling, patted my shoulder, “Don’t be shy. You’re the guest of honor, Cassandra!” _That only made it worse._

I wondered if I ran now, could I make it out of the palace before anyone caught me? _Unlikely._ When my stomach fluttered this time, it was definitely _not_ hunger. _How could I eat in front of the Countess?_ Outside the mahogany doors, I could hear faint music playing and clinking of glass.

_Wish me luck, Master._

Without another word from Portia, I stepped inside the dining room. 

Immediately, the rich scent of unfamiliar spices tickled my nose - _okay, now I was hungry_ \- and the music grew louder. A quintet dressed in gauzy evening gowns played pleasant, ambling melodies. The rest of the space was filled with an endless table, laden with platters of various delicacies.

Somehow, I ended up in a plush seat, arms decorated in golden leaves and berries. The empty plate in front of me was taken away by Portia, who suddenly strode to the opposite side of a room. _There was no sign of the Countess._ In my search for the illustrious woman, my eyes fell upon a painting on the wall across from me. 

The scene depicted a meal, shared amongst a number of figures with the head of animals. Each was painted with full platters, covered in exotic fruits and meats. It was clear who the main figure was meant to be; in the center of the painting, a goat-headed character stood at least a head taller than everyone else, draped in the brightest of gold fabric and jewels. There was even a glittering halo around the black-and-white goat.

Despite the onslaught of color and texture, the goat’s red eyes caught _and held_ my attention. An unexpected shiver ran up my spine, and the mahogany doors opened. “I see you are admiring the painting.” The Countess’s sonorous voice and footsteps nearly caused me to jump from my seat.

 _Was I required to bow? To stand?_ Before I could agonize over the decision, the Countess settled gracefully into her seat at the end of the table. When I met her gaze, ruby lips curved into a placid smile, “Do you like it, Cassandra?” _Like...what?_

“The painting,” She clarified, eyes sparkling under the chandelier’s light. 

The goat’s red eyes seemed to follow me, somehow both gloating and morose.

“No,” The word fell from my mouth before I could think about my answer.

Although my gut twisted at the gasps of shock from the servants around us, my nerves were eased by the Countess’s amusement. _Even her laughter was beautiful, pleasant and graceful._

“Such honesty,” She lowered a decorated hand, jewels catching the light as she moved, “I must confess that I do not like it either. I find it sometimes spoils my appetite.” The only sign of distaste was in the slight downturn of her full lips.

“So why does it remain on the wall, where I must look at it, you may ask?” She continued, not waiting for a response, eyes drifting to the painting. I resisted the urge to follow her gaze.

_I didn’t want to see those red eyes._

A servant suddenly appeared at my side, placing a carefully arranged bowl of yogurt and cucumber soup before me. I slowly raise the bowl to my mouth, taking a gentle sip. _Delicious, as expected._

“Sentimental value, I suppose.” She sighed, leaning back to allow a servant to place her own bowl down, “It was one of my husband’s favorites.” _The Countess’s husband...Count Lucio._ As his name curled in my mind, sharp and sour like cheese left in the sun for too long, the image of the goat felt weirdly familiar.

_Vivid red eyes...a beautiful shade, that red._

The thought was foreign, and I lowered the bowl with a muted _clink_ . “More to the point,” The Countess suddenly appeared amused, “You have a spoon, I recommend using it.” _Oh._

Once again, my ears warmed in embarrassment. Even so, the words felt like more of a challenge than reprimand. _Here goes nothing._

My nerves settled like insects in my stomach as I lifted the bowl, slurping louder than intended. _Sorry, Master._ To my relief, the Countess only laughed, “Suit yourself.” Carefully wiping my mouth on my arm, I watched the next course replace the half-empty bowls of soup.

 _So much food, wasted._ As flaky golden pastries were placed before us, the Countess seemed to study me with morbid, open curiosity. _I wished she wouldn’t look at me like that._ “Tell me Cassandra,” She began, “Did you ever attend our Masquerade?”

With my mouth full, I blinked in surprise. _Of all times to ask._ Mercifully, the woman continued speaking, her gaze becoming more unfocused, “I would imagine so. Our doors were open to all… well, up to a certain capacity.”

_The festival was held each year in celebration of the Count’s birthday. Why would she bring it up?_

It didn’t take much thought to realize it was relevant to my presence.

 _T_ _he reason she called me here..._ _What could she possibly require from a mere_ apprentice?

Sighing, the Countess leaned back in her chair.  _ Even her distress was graceful, intentional.  _ The smallest hint of envy crept into my thoughts. 

“I know it is a difficult matter to discuss. How fondly the people of this city remember the Masquerade. And of course, how deeply affected we all were by the murder.” At this, I nearly choked, barely managing to catch myself in time. My pulse quickened at the comment.  _ Where was this going?  _

“Such a terrible shock to the guests.” The woman shook her head slowly, “Such a vicious injustice upon this house. To slaughter the host while he celebrates his birthday, sharing his joy and prosperity, with open doors? A hateful crime indeed.” 

Another servant switched our dishes when I finished the pastry. As our entrees were placed on the table -  _ a steaming, fragrant dish that I could only assume was lamb _ \- the Countess smiled, “Ah, thank you, Ghulam.” The boy who had been serving the Countess appeared to flush, quickly nodding and darting towards the other side of the room. 

_ She knew their names? That was...unexpected.  _ _ Frankly, so was this entire conversation. _

Everything I knew about the murder of Count Lucio was from Asra and the whispers of the Versuvia gossip mill. 

_ Namely, Inas.  _

Whether it be the source of the rumors or the events that took place at the fateful Masquerade, his story was full of holes. 

_ More questions than answers.  _

The end, however, was the same. Count Lucio retired to his chambers, and by midnight, was engulfed in flames.  _ I see fire.  _ The culprit was captured on the spot, or surrendered, depending on who you asked. Before the murderer could be brought to justice -  _ Julian’s blood-stained face flashed in my mind _ \- they escaped. Ever since, the palace has been locked away from anyone seeking entrance. 

_ Until now.  _ “You must be wondering,” The Countess lowered her fork, “why I am telling you all this. Why I called you here.” With very little effort, she had the room’s entire attention.  _ The music dimmed, as well.  _

“I have been planning this for some time.” Her voice rang out, “This year, we will hold the Masquerade. The gates will again open, and the festivities in Lucio’s honor will be more fanatical than ever.” 

She lifted a napkin to dab at an invisible spot of food, disdain lacing her tone, “Fantastical, excuse me.” 

Palpable shock bore down on the silence, servants all but frozen mid-step. Only Portia, I noticed, appeared to be unbothered by the news.  _ Favorite servant, indeed. She must’ve already known.  _

“As I said,” The Countess continued, “I have planned all the necessary details already. There is but one loose end in need of tying. The murderer.” Her eyes meet mine, brilliant ruby meeting dull green. In the corner, Portia’s hands turned white against the golden platter in her hands. “To this day, he roams free. Too long he has evaded me. So long as he stalks the shadows of this city, I cannot guarantee the safety of my guests. I must find him. And I must bring him to justice before the people of this city. Surely you know the murderer of whom I speak…” 

I knew the name before she even finished speaking, echoing in my mind.  _ Doctor Julian Devorak, Count Lucio’s most trusted physician, who - CRASH! _

My elbow slammed against the edge of the chair when something crashed to the floor, a cacophony of glass and food breaking the tension in the room. 

I followed everyone’s gaze to the red-haired servant, who appeared - for the first time - stricken with horror.  _ Odd.  _ At her feet, the broken remnants of a dessert seeped into the floor. 

Even the Countess looked surprised, nearly rising to her feet in obvious concern. “Portia?” She asked, ruby eyes scanning the woman. Portia shook her head quickly, still pale, “F-forgive me, millady. Slippery hands.” It was strange to see the kind woman so...unbalanced. I wondered if the topic of Lucio’s murder had thrown her off.  _ But she hardly seemed squeamish when discussing the vampire eels.  _

The Countess’s concern lingered on her face, lips downturned. “You are forgiven…” She trailed off, studying Portia. Without prompting, two servants rushed forwards to help, sweeping away shattered porcelain at windsprint speed. 

“Anyway,” The Countess sounded distracted when her gaze returned to mine, still frowning, “this is where you come in, Cassandra.” A pale Portia slipped out of the room. “The fugitive has proved very elusive. The palace guard,” She cast a glance towards the doors, “is useless in rooting him out. But while they continue to disappoint me… You come highly recommended.” 

_ Me? Surely she was referring to - _ “Your master is known far and wide. Rumor has it that you have surpassed him already.” My eyes widened, wondering where she could’ve possibly heard such rumors.  _ I was a fast learner, sure, but to surpass? How could I surpass someone who knew more about myself and magic?  _

This wasn’t the last surprise, however; my suspicions about the woman were confirmed. “I myself see the future, in dreams, whether I like it or not.”  _ She had mentioned Asra the night before, “seeing” him in her dreams.  _

“And this is how I know that you are the one who will find him for me.”  _ Technically, I’ve already found him.  _

_ Here, in Versuvia. In our shop.  _

The Countess’s lip curled slightly, “That fraudulent doctor who betrayed us and murdered my husband. This is why I’ve called you here, Cassandra.” Her eyes pinned me to my seat, “If anyone can help me find him, it’s you.” She fell silent, clearly waiting for a response. 

_ What if I say no? _

I imagined the disdain on her face shifting to anger or something worse...disappointment.  _ I’d had enough of that from Asra, even if he would never admit it.  _

No longer hungry, I lowered my fork, attempting to straighten in the plush seat. “And if we find him?” My voice was the only noise in the expanse of the room. There was a low creak as the doors opened behind the Countess, allowing the red-haired woman to enter quietly. I pulled my gaze away to meet the Countess’s eyes. She set down her glass with a muted  _ thud _ . 

“When we find him,” She emphasized the first word, eyes narrowing slightly, “we will bring him before the people so that all may see his long-awaited punishment. Whether he begs for his life, or hangs his head in defeat, the people will delight in his suffering. A spectacle of vengeance. The mob will love it. And so, to commence the festivities… The doctor will die on the gallows. Well, if all goes according to plan.” 

_ Oh... _ I wondered if I appeared as pale as Portia had.  _ That was somber...how could people celebrate death like that, so easily? Even if Julian, the Doctor I mean, was guilty.  _

Without waiting for my response, the Countess rose to her feet. 

On instinct, I stood as well, wincing at the scrape of the chair. “Show Cassandra to the guest quarters. I imagine there is much to ponder over.” “Right away, milady.” Portia nodded, sounding almost back to her cheery self. 

_ I still hadn’t accepted the proposal...but we both knew saying “no” wasn’t a real option _ . 

“And Cassandra?” “Yes, Countess?” I straightened again, though I was sure my posture had been fine to begin with. 

Ruby lips lifted into a smile, “Call me Nadia.”  _ What?  _

I blinked, lips parted - “I insist.” The woman’s lips quirked into a confident smirk, then glided out of the room. 

Thus far, my interactions with the Countess-  _ sorry, Nadia _ \- left me slightly winded.  _ The confidence she wielded her power and influence was dizzying.  _ I wondered what Asra would make of her. 

_ The strangest aspect was how familiar the palace seemed, as if I’d been here before. Ridiculous notion, right? Still, I had years of missing moments, so maybe I had...Who knew?  _ In response, Asra’s secretive smile lingered in my mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switched up the end of this particular chapter, the final half of The Empress to come. Inspiration provided by Vitamin String Quartet's version of "Merry-Go-Round of Life". Enjoy!


	7. Book 4: The Empress (Night) contd.

Portia and I walked through several halls, twisting and turning in the elegant maze. 

_ Or a cage.  _

Portia was strangely quiet, ushering us past another set of double doors and hidden entrances.  _ Not that I minded.  _ The Countess’s... _ Nadia’s _ words left us both with plenty to mull over.  _ She wanted me to catch Doctor Julian. _ Portia muttered something under her breath, clearly in her own thoughts. 

I took a moment to catch my breath, leaning against the nearby wall. On the opposite side of the hall was a wide staircase, veiled in shadow. Somehow, there seemed to be a draft coming from the floor above. Even from this distance, I could feel the slight chill against my skin. 

Straining to see where the stairs led, I moved closer. The darkness at the top of the stairs was practically impenetrable.  _ More importantly... _

There was movement, and a flash of white. 

I hadn’t noticed the animals until I stood less than five feet away. 

Curled up on the bottom step were two large, lanky dogs. Clearly well bred, given their white coats and shimmering collars. Their eyes fixed upon me, rising slowly. Nails clicked against the marble as they approached, long thin snouts sampling the air.  _ Odd.  _

They drew closer, and closer, until someone gasped. 

Over my shoulder, Portia was watching the scene with wide eyes. “Mercedes! Melchoir!” She raised her voice, scowling at the dogs, “Stop that! Go back, go on.” 

Placing her freckled hands on her hips, the ginger woman rolled her eyes when they whined, “Yes, you’re both beautiful.”  _ She wasn’t wrong. They were obviously well taken care of.  _ “But you’re not friendly, are you? No, you’re not. Back to your step.” She glanced in my direction, scanning me briefly before meeting my curious gaze, “I swear, those two never change.” 

As if they could understand her -  _ I thought of Faust and our silent conversations  _ \- the dogs lifted their snouts in the air. Ignoring the woman, they turned towards me.  _ Their eyes... _

Each dog had one red eye, one black, both equally fathomless.  _ Something unsettling about those eyes.  _

The deeper I looked into their gaze, the less I understood. We stared each other down, refusing to be the one to look away.  _ Listen.  _ Electricity danced under my skin, and the dogs suddenly shivered, heads dropping low. 

Under the pressure of my gaze, the pair slunk back to their staircase obediently. Once they settled onto the bottom step, I peeked at the woman a few feet away. 

_ Too much?  _

I felt my cheeks warm when I saw the wonder written across her face, smiling from ear to ear. 

_ Too much.  _

“I’ve…” Portia shook her head, still grinning, “I’ve never seen them do that. Very impressive!”  She moved closer, placing a hand on my shoulder.  I refused to look behind me, even as the identical eyes burned into my back. 

“For a second, I was sure you were going to lose a couple fingers. You didn’t cast a spell on them, did you?” I coughed at the last comment, but Portia only laughed.  _ Oh, it was a joke.  _ She dropped a fist into her open palm, bright blue eyes turning to me, “That reminds me!”  _ Back to normal…For now.  _ “They haven’t had their chamomile cakes. They’re gonna be up all night! Keep Cassandra company, you two. No growling, no snapping, no biting!” She pointed sternly at the pale canines. “They’ve gotten a lot better, it’s just tough to train them out of their old ways. Count Lucio liked to keep them vicious.” She shrugged, then turned to briskly stride down the hall, waving one hand in the air, “Be right back!” 

Just like that, I was left alone beside the dark staircase.  _ Almost alone.  _

A warm huff of breath brushed against my hand; when I peered down, the smaller of the two dogs leant back on their haunches, staring up at me.  _ Expectant..?  _

My body felt entirely too warm, like a wave of rising fever. 

“Ooooh, hello, hello, hello,” My head whipped around at the melodic voice, but I only saw the two dogs, “What do we have here? A guest?” The way their tone abruptly dropped was unsettling, to say the least.  _ It didn’t help that there was nobody in sight.  _

_ Unless... _ Slowly, I stepped closer to the staircase, past the animals.  _ There’s no one there.  _ The top of the second floor was still shrouded, a hollow gloom. For the second time, I almost jumped in surprise when something tugged against my garments. 

_ The dogs.  _ Their teeth buried themselves in my clothes, unrelenting as they dragged me up the first three marble steps. Now, the voice sounded much closer. “Yessss, my beauties.” They hissed, delighted, “Bring that morsel to papa.” My nose crinkled, both at the unnerving comment and lack of visible figures.  _ Who spoke like that, anyways?  _ “Gooooood,” The voice crooned, “Just a little closer...best behavior, you two. Let’s show off our famous hospitality.”

After nearly tripping over the fifth step, my magic responded to the rising frustration. 

“Knock it off!” I glared, wrenching myself free from their grip. The pair whined pitifully, then scampered up the remaining flight to wait at the edge of the darkness.

_ Ghostly white. Red eyes, why was it always red?  _

Snickering seemed to bounce off the walls around us, and there was a sweltering heat along my back.  _ Urging me higher.  _ “Come, now…” They whispered, a desperate edge to their voice. Somehow, my feet landed on cold stone, rising around me like a tomb.  _ Where was I?  _ The air smelt of ash again, stronger and putrid. The space was desolate, devoid of life, down to the smallest mote of dust hanging in the stagnant air.  _ I didn’t remember climbing the rest of the way.  _

Although the air seemed to shift between hot and cold, my skin radiated an unnatural amount of heat. My head was spinning.  _ Was I moving?  _ I barely noticed my heart hammering as I lifted my hand into the air. 

_ Help.  _

Immediately, my magic gathered in my outstretched palm; I managed a weak ball of light, casting gray shadows around my feet. 

My attention was drawn towards the end of the hall, where a door sat ajar. Inside, I could feel the inky blackness, thick energy swallowing any light that strayed too close.  _ Concern that was not my own rushed through me, disappearing just as quickly.  _

Before I knew it, the door was standing in front of me, only an arms’ distance away. “Welcomeee,” The voice sang, “welcomeee.” Through the doorway, the magic in my palm shrunk to a fluttering glow. 

Coming from the hall, it felt strikingly warm inside. The air had a strange, peppery taste to it. My feeble light rendered any furniture in the room formless, aside from a massive, canopied bed stretching across the room. As I quietly moved closer, I passed an extravagant suit of armor and a white marble writing desk. Across the space laid a portrait on the wall.  _ The only item not blanketed in ash.  _

With a single-minded focus - _ like a puppet on a string  _ \- I stepped towards it. 

The portrait was twice my height, towering above me in a golden frame. Lifting my palm, I strained to see the image. 

_ Count Lucio.  _

For some reason, he appeared younger than I expected. Maybe the portrait was old, or the artist had simply catered to his vanity. His coat was the same, brilliant red of the painting in the dining room. His left arm was painted as extravagant and golden.  _ A marvel of alchemical art, the town claimed.  _ From his haughty shoulders hung lucious furs, impossibly fine...

My free hand reached for the painting before I could catch myself. “Go on,” A hoarse whisper snickered in my ear, ringing in my mind, “Touch it.”  _ And I did.  _ The canvas wasn’t soft at all, covered in an indiscernible layer of ash, like everything else.  _ Everything felt hazy. Why did it feel so hazy? _

“Nothing like the real thing,” The melodic voice groused, “seeing, unable to feel. Such sweet torture.” Sudden heat rose behind me, focused on the nape of my neck.  _ Like someone was standing behind me.  _ Scarcely able to comprehend the meaning of the temperature changes -  _ ash clouded my vision  _ \- energy rushed to my palm once more. I winced at the brightness, even as the heat and muted panic vanished. 

Everything felt much too light, too sharp, too... _ real. This wasn’t a dream.  _

The glow began to spread down my fingers and wrist, a comforting weight. “Ahhh,” The voice recoiled, growing fainter. 

_ This wasn’t a dream.  _

_ WAKE UP!  _

Reeling back from the portrait, my breath was ragged, pulse racing.  _ This was real.  _ My mind slowly cleared, as if waking from an uneasy sleep. 

I yelped when my knees met something soft; I fell backwards, arms outstretched. 

The room returned to darkness when my back hit the bed, folds of dusty velvet swallowing me whole. Plumes of ash billowed around me. 

I clapped a hand over my mouth, smothering a scream.  _ This was Count Lucio’s bed. I’m lying exactly where he was murdered. Incinerated.  _

The fine ash in my eyes, nose, mouth…. _ what was left of him.  _ Tears sprung from the stinging dust -  _ not dust, ashes,  _ his _ ashes  _ \- and I violently wrestled myself from the velvety confines, struggling to stand on solid ground.  _ Get out of here, get out, get out, get out.  _ “Aww, going so soon?” The voice giggled, “You’re no fun.” 

_ That damned voice.  _

I hadn’t questioned it before, when the haze had settled over my mind and that voice had whispered in my ear. Now, they echoed from every nook and cranny of the room... _ and from inside my mind.  _

They laughed, an unsettling, throaty sound. Blinded by darkness and ash, I collapsed onto the floor.  _ Trembling.  _

“Who are you?” I croaked. Opening my mouth made it worse; I tucked my face into my elbow, sent into a coughing fit. 

“Nobody,” The voice responded, glum, “Nobody at all.”  _ Inside my head.  _

Someone...no...some _ thing _ cried out, a wholly inhuman noise. 

_ Get out, Cassandra.  _

“What,” I attempted to speak again, rising from my position on the floor, but the swirling ash settled on my lips. “What do you want?” I swayed in place, the back of my throat aching and dry. 

Laughter rose around me, slinking against my exposed skin and face. Once again, heat swept past me, towards the portrait. Something reached for my back, just out of sight.  _ Everything was still shrouded in darkness.  _

“What do I  _ want _ ?” The last word ended on a freezing snarl, then...nothing. 

The heat dissipated around me, ash settling on my arms and shoulders. Across the room, the voice sounded in pain, “Chains of gold but no neck...beautiful, beautiful furs...but no back.” I heard something scrape across the canvas, “No perfect face to smother with kisses...So I want nothing.”  _ Caressing, loving strokes.  _ _ Sharp nails digging into the material.  _

By the time the light in my palm was returned, the room was empty. 

_ Get OUT!  _

Listening to the rising fear, I ran.

There was little resistance, but laughter followed me out the door, growing louder and louder. 

Slamming into the opposite wall, cool air rushed around me.  _ I’m back in the hall.  _ The cold stone rattled me from my panicked movements, grounding me in reality.  _ This was real, remember? This was ALL real... _ I gasped for air, chest tight and unrelenting. 

My lungs didn’t seem to want to function properly; black spots danced across my vision. 

Nonetheless, I rose from the stone and kept moving. The further I ran, the fainter the laughter and heat and  _ malicious intent  _ was. Portraits I hadn’t noticed before surrounded me on either side of the hall. Proud figures draped in riches watched my stumbling form, cold and apathetic.  _ Where’s the staircase?  _ Despite the irrationally intense fear, I glanced over my shoulder to see how far I’d gotten. 

At the end of the hall, beside the open door, I saw something.

A shadow flickered against the opposite wall, tracing itself back to a monstrous shape. 

_ Standing on two legs, but...not human.  _

Two whirling horns twisted away from each other, nearly scraping the ceiling. It moved towards another door that I hadn’t seen before, then paused, head turning in my direction. Frozen, I was helpless when those scarlet eyes blazed through me. 

Simultaneously, two things happened. 

The shape lunged towards the door, vanishing from sight. Next, a throaty purr rumbled over my shoulder, brushing against the shell of my ear. “I have a surprise for you. Follow me.” 

_ No, no, no, no.  _

Fresh panic reared its head, and I took three, staggering steps backwards. Somehow, I was able to keep running towards... _ towards the exit? _

I thought I’d been moving further away, but the ominous door was suddenly to my right. 

Suffocating energy drifted from the opening, invisible forces dragging at my limbs.  _ No, no, no!  _ “Aww, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” Gleeful whispers echoed from the back of my mind.

“Don’t go, stay…” The voice paused, laughing, “Stay with me awhile.” 

Once more, the haze settled over my vision, even as I tried to resist. Tried to run.  _ To escape _ . 

Before me stood a final portrait, half cast in shadows. Glittering rubies, plush leopard cape, golden arm and finely combed hair. 

_ Count Lucio,  _ I realized,  _ they have all been of Count Lucio.  _

His thin lips were pulled taut over gleaming teeth, and...My own lips frowned. Ragged holes where the eyes should be, ripped from the canvas in feathery tatters. “Vanity can be such a hassle,” The voice huffed.  _ It wasn’t inside my head anymore.  _ Glancing over my shoulder, I saw it for a brief moment. 

The two eyes pinned me to the floor as the maniacal laughter began anew. This time, the figure was clearer. 

He had claws, horns, and hooves like onyx. White face... _ a goat. He was...a goat?  _

Blinking, my vision shifted. Without moving, I found myself somewhere else, somewhere unfamiliar. After a second, I recognized the flashes of white below me.  _ Somehow, I was at the top of the stairs again.  _

Another blink -  _ ash still swirling in the air  _ \- and the dogs were nowhere in sight. 

Relief flooded through me, and I practically threw myself down the stairs, almost slamming into the adjoining wall. 

When I reached the ground floor - flooded with light and familiarity - I didn’t feel my knees hit the marble, only the shaking of my limbs. 

_ Free, I was free. I escaped. He...let me escape. Why?  _

“There you are!” 

This was how Portia found me; on the ground, trembling and blanketed in ash.

Kneeling beside me, she instantly pulled out a plain handkerchief, “Why are you covered in ash? What did those naughty dogs do to you?” One glance at my expression -  _ quite a sight, I’m sure _ \- she added, “Are you okay?” 

_ That was the million ruble question, wasn’t it? _

All I could muster was a dazed nod, dusting myself off. Ash billowed around us. Portia waved her hand in front of her face, coughing. Finally,  _ mercifully _ , my mind felt clear.  _ Like my own again.  _ Gently, the kindly servant took me by the elbow, guiding me to my feet. Together, we brushed off the last of the ash. 

“You know,” She peered at the empty staircase, then my pitiful state, “I’m just gonna leave these cakes right here and uh, let’s get you to bed. You’ve had a long day.” I snorted in amusement, exchanging a weary smile with the woman.

It didn’t take long for us to arrive at our destination.  _ Or maybe I was too tired to pay attention.  _

My entire body ached, and even my magic felt drained, though I barely used it. “And here we are!” Portia swung the door open with a sweeping gesture. My shoulders slumped in relief at the welcoming light from inside. “There will be your quarters, Cassandra. You can put your things where you like.” I dropped my bag to the floor. “Breakfast is at sunrise, I’ll be sure to wake you.” 

With remarkable speed, Portia prepared the bed. I eyed the smooth linens with shuddering exhaustion. “All right, you look about ready to drop.” In response, all I could manage was a nod. “I’ll leave you be.” 

Despite her proclamation, the woman lingered at the doorway. “Unless,” She added, hands twisting, “you have any burning questions?” 

Reluctantly, I tore my eyes from the tempting bed. With the haze from earlier gone, I remembered the crashing of plates during the meal.  _ Felt like days ago.  _

“You dropped something during dinner.” I finally asked, blue eyes meeting green, “Why?” 

Her expression soured, color draining from her cheeks. Her brow knitted, almost painfully, biting her lip.  _ Hit the nail on the head, it seemed.  _ Portia attempted to laugh, hands twisting together faster and faster, “Well, um. Slippery hands, for one thing.”  _ And another?  _

I studied the woman silently, unblinking.  _ Asra said my stare could make anyone reveal their darkest secrets. A very strange sort of compliment, but a compliment from  _ him _ , nevertheless.  _

Even in my exhaustion, curiosity got the better of me.  _ I wanted to know why.  _ “It’s just,” She sighed, shoulders drooping, “we were all so glad to hear that the Countess was expecting a guest. And such a lovely guest, at that… “ Portia winked, but I refused to respond to the distraction. 

_ She still wasn’t answering the question.  _

Something changed in her tone, and her eyes dropped to the carpet, “To think she asked you to come here for something like this… Finding that doctor who, for all anybody knows, could be dead in a ditch somewhere.”  _ I knew for a fact that he wasn’t. “ _ I mean, it’s been years since… well, you know. He could be anywhere, right? And it’s not like the guards have had any recent leads. But now that you’re here…” 

_ The doctor? She knew him, somehow. An old patient of his? But she looked too young for that... _ The auburn-haired man grinned in my mind’s eye.  _ He couldn’t be much older than I was. Or..how old Asra told me I was.  _

_ By the stars, that was frustrating. I didn’t even remember how old I was, or my own damned birthday. _

Portia lifted her eyes from the carpet to give me a half-smile, “We’re all really glad you’re here, Cassandra.”  _ Still not an answer.  _ “The Countess has been so isolated since the murder… She needs you. So if there’s anything you need… Come find me, all right?”  The woman’s smile temporarily blinded me, and I sighed, reluctantly returning the gesture.  _ It was crystal clear that she would continue to dodge the question...and I was exhausted.  _

My limbs hung like iron weights at my side, head practically lolling in place.  _ I would be asleep as soon as I laid down _ . Portia knew it, too. 

“Sleep well, Cassandra.” After blowing out the candles one-by-one, she moved for the door. “Good night, Portia.” I responded drowsily.  The silk sheets immediately consumed me whole, and with my heart thumping to the rhythm of Portia’s steady footfalls, I willingly sunk into unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect the chapters to get gradually longer, and let me know whose path we should explore first! Asra or Julian, perhaps? We're getting closer to the end of the beginning, after all...


	8. Book 4: The Empress (Night) fin.

I strolled down the black stone path, squinting as wind and sand whipped around my head.

Dark clouds heavy with rain sagged, ready to fall from the multi-colored sky... _I was dreaming again, wasn't I?_ _Then_...My eyes searched for him across the desolate landscape, even as the unforgiving wind stung my face.

 _There...Too far ahead to reach._ My teacher stood beside the lumbering beast, a speck of color in the distance.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. It was useless... _I had no voice. When did that happen?_

Looking harder, I noticed the pair stand, side-by-side, at a fork in the road. One trailed east, the other west. Asra placed a hand on the creature's side, head turning. A lingering look, and the creature began to lumber down the path to the east, disappearing into the tempestuous sea of sand.

 _Wait.._.Asra faced the west, and I knew at once that he was going the wrong way. "Not that way!" My voice suddenly returned, hoarse and aching, "Not again!"

Even from the uncrossable distance, I felt our eyes meet.

"Asra!" I called, even as sand flew down my throat, choking me. My hand raised towards him, he turned his body to face me, fully. With all my willpower, I drove myself forwards. _Closer...and closer…_.The process was arduous and borderline painful. By the time I was close enough to grasp his hand in mine, I could scarcely see anything except sand.

Before everything dissolved into darkness, I could've sworn I heard him call my name and squeeze my hand.

Just as suddenly, I found myself in yesterday.

White powder covered the floor, and I wrinkled my nose at the odor. _Powdered bat milk._ Sweeping the spilled ingredient into a pile, I felt my hair tie loosen slightly. Asra wandered into the empty room.

"Cassandra," He beamed, "wait until you see what the woods had to offer yesterday!" I smiled at the childish grin on his lips, watching an assortment of mushrooms, fruits, and roots tumble onto the countertop. _Wow._..Asra leaned on his elbows beside the pile, tucking his chin in his hands.

"Wow," I repeated, sweeping up the remaining powder, "this is...so much. More than we need." I studied the callouses and mud on his hands, wondering how long it took him to collect the food. "I thought it'd be better to have plenty." My heart ached when his smile fell, grabbing a nearby cloth for his hands.

"I don't want to leave you here with nothing but pumpkin bread." Asra looked thoroughly put-out, waiting until I had finished to pluck one of the berries from the pile. With practiced ease, he slipped the goldberry in my mouth. I chewed slowly, tasting nothing. _Leave me?_

I nodded, using the cloth to gently rub at a spot on his cheek. _How did he get dirt on his face, of all places?_

 _Right...this was the moment he began packing for his trip._ Purple eyes followed the gentle movements.

 _I had wanted to tell him then, but couldn't remember why I hadn't_ ….Now, the truth spilled from my lips, "I want to come with you."

Lowering the cloth, I watched various emotions cross his features. _Oh._ I dropped my hands, hiding my own hurt by busying myself with the gathered fruits. _That was why._

His hands gingerly cupped either side of my face so that I would turn back towards him. My hair freed itself from its bond, falling around my face, brushing against his fingers. Something flipped in my stomach when he stared deep into my eyes. _Not fair._

"I know," Asra sighed, keeping his eyes on mine, "I wish I could take you, it's just…" He hesitated, "It's too risky." I could tell he believed what he said; there was a strange, desperate fear in that amethyst gaze. _Wherever he went, it was too far, too fast, too risky for me...but not for him._ Bitterness welled up in my mouth, pricking at my eyes.

"I'll risk it," I tried to sound confident - and not bitter - as I tilted my head so my lips met his palm. Asra immediately stiffened, eyes widening at the unexpected contact. _I liked being able to surprise him._

"You will?" He managed to ask, "Why?"

A mischievous grin spread across his lips, "You want to join me in the den of the baby-eating Blood Mountain beast?" His story-telling voice emerged, "Slog through the crawling maze of Torturia, only to end up in a quicksand pit in the bog of resistance?"

_...Were those real places?_

After a second, I realized that I didn't particularly care. Despite the slight amusement, my frustration burned brighter. Asra blinked in shock when I pulled away from his touch, frowning.

"I want to go with you," I declared, "if you're going to Blood Mountain, that's where I want to be."

His mouth dropped open slightly, cheeks darkening. "You," He seemed to struggle for a moment, "you want to put yourself in danger...to be with me?" Asra acted as if the idea was completely unheard of, one hand clenched over his chest, "That's…" My eyes were drawn to his mouth when he worried his lip in thought.

Of course I did. _What else...who else did I have?_

Aside from Inas, Asra was my confidant, my partner-in-crime. My mentor, the one who taught me everything...and who refused to share the truth about my past, about who I used to be. It was somehow both completely natural and increasingly difficult to trust him.

_And yet, I was drawn to him like the tides to the moon._

Asra stepped closer, hands skating down my arms, goosebumps erupting over the skin.

_If only he would let me in._

His eyes seemed to search mine for any hesitance, "You're really serious this time, huh? I don't want to leave you…" Asra's hand slipped into mine, and his gaze dropping to our interlocked fingers.

For as far back as my memories go, it'd always been like this with him. _Push and pull, back and forth. Heat and cold, affection and loneliness._

As such, I was able to recognize the rejection before he spoke again.

"Sometimes, we can't have what we want," He murmured, thumb brushing against the back of my hand, "even if it feels right." There was something desperate and longing in his voice.

 _Why not? What was holding him back?_ "I wish I could stay," He repeated, wistful, "soon I won't have to go anywhere you can't follow. It's just…" His shoulders slumped slightly, grip tightening, "You're still learning, Cassandra. You've never traveled these paths before."

The words were achingly familiar, but the memory slipped away before I could grasp it. _Again._ "Even if I held your hand the whole way," Asra continued, eyes lowered, "one wrong step could separate us, and it'll be a thousand times as dangerous trying to find your way back alone." He shivered.

"So you have to go," I said dryly, "and I have to stay."

Clearing his throat, Asra tried to smile, but the gesture didn't reach his eyes, "I'll bring you back whatever you want, okay? Anything." He squeezed my hands gently, and I almost pulled away, brow furrowing.

_No, not this time. I wouldn't let him slip away._

"Asra, I don't want souvenirs. I want to go with you." My voice came out more pleading than I intended, "Please. We can protect each other."

"If only it were that easy, Cassandra." Asra remained stubborn, almost stern.

 _He needed me to banish the doubts for him. I could do that, if it meant we could…_ It was my turn to take his face into my hands, "It can be, Asra. Just give me a chance." His eyes scanned my face, as if searching for something.

"Please," I added, "Don't leave me behind."

_Again._

The last word, unspoken, wedged itself between us.

Without a word, Asra pulled me close, arms wrapping around my waist as he buried his head into my neck, curls ticking the exposed skin.

"Cassandra," He shuddered in the embrace, voice thick with emotion, "I...I can't. You know I…" He trembled beneath my hands, sending waves of guilt through me, "You know I can't. Don't...don't ask me to…" My heart felt as if it was breaking inside my chest at the small, quiet voice.

When I was able to look him in the eye again, his pained expression must've mirrored my own.

"Why?" My voice broke, but I kept my blurry vision on the man before me, "Why don't you want me?"

_I needed to know. I needed to hear him say it._

Asra visibly struggled with the question, hands gripping mine almost painfully tight, "I can't…I want…I want you safe."

 _Of course. What had I been expecting?_ I cleared my throat, pulling a hand free to swipe at my face.

 _You two are so complicated,_ I recalled Inas's complaint, and wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry at how accurate it was.

In a gesture that would've normally been sweet, Asra quietly tucked my amethyst hair behind my hair, hand hovering between my neck and shoulder.

_I should've known better by now._

"You're more honest in dreams." He admitted, laughing quietly. "You too." I murmured, nodding.

His attempt at a smile faded. Asra sighed, hands falling to his sides.

"I really can't wait to see you again." Asra finally said, "I'll be back soon."

His voice, soft and full of empty promises, reverberated through my consciousness. My mind grasped after the vestiges of the dream, the sharp edge of pain dulling, but it was futile.

Asra, and the whirlwind of emotions, faded away into nothingness.

...

_This was torture._

After an exhausting day at the palace, I finally had the opportunity to rest.

However, the dream left me unsettled and frustrated, something itching just below my skin. I could scarcely remember the words exchanged, just the emotionally drained aftermath.

Perhaps it had been hours or minutes, but I eventually found myself wide awake. Every time I tried settling into the sleep's embrace, something tugged me back into consciousness. _Couldn't even keep my eyes closed._

Defeated, I abandoned the luxurious sheets, padding quietly over to the window.

Stars freckled the sky above. _I must've wasted a few hours tossing and turning._ My fingertips brushed the window's ledge when the faintest whiff of magic reached my senses. _Familiar magic._ Without hesitation, I slipped into my shoes, retrieving my bag from the floor.

Taking a deep breath, I emerged into the brightly lit hallway. _Did they ever turn off the lights?_

To my relief, there wasn't a soul in sight.

Shuffling down the hall, I closed my eyes, trusting my magic to lead me. Each turn I made was confident, easy...until I reached a fork in the road, and the trail went cold. _Damn it._ Keeping my eyes closed - sight would only slow me down - I realized the trail was still there, coming from both sides of the fork.

 _Trust me, Cassandra._ The memory faded, and I moved to the right. There was the slightest breeze against my face. Beneath my feet, the path remained polished and cool. _Still inside, then._ When I opened my eyes, I froze in my tracks.

The dark stairway was before me, shadows shifting across the marble steps.

_No, no, no, why here?_

The two dogs, Mercedes and Melchoir, laid panting happily on the bottom stair. Still on guard. Still awake.

Their snouts shivered, ears flicking as their eyes popped open, zeroing in on me. This time, I kept my distance, resigning myself to the spot as they approached.

I refused to be any closer to those stairs...Instead of dragging me further, the strange animals shuffled against my side.

"S-Stop it," I managed, laughing, fingers trailing through impossibly soft fur. _I was too ticklish._ Suddenly, the larger one - Melchoir, I believed - began sniffing loudly at my bag.

 _Enough of this._ Side-stepping the dogs, I turned on my heel to follow the other path in the fork.

Pausing, I heard a familiar noise, the click of nails against marble. _They were following me._ Walking faster, I heard the dogs behind me. Soon enough, I sprinted down the hall with the animals in pursuit. Hoping to lose them, I darted around a random corner.

The leftward hall led me to a balmy veranda, bathed in starlight.

_Much better._

Below, I noticed the lush palace gardens, spread over a vast amount of space. The middle appeared to form a maze of greenery, weaving through the colorful arrangement of flowers and exotic plants.

_There._

At once, I knew where to go. With a quick glance behind me - the dogs were gone, presumably returned to their post - I listened to the night birds and let my intuition guide me through the maze. It didn't take much time to dart through the tall hedges, following the trail.

I stepped into a small opening, filled with an elegant stone fountain. A wide gazing pool surrounded it, disappearing behind an old willow tree. Craning my neck back, I saw something hanging from the tree…

"Faust!' I smiled automatically, reaching upwards.

The purple-shaded snake noticed me as well, lowering herself into my open arms. Her cool scales were a comfort I didn't realize I needed until then, and I savored the brief moment.

_What on earth was she doing here? And if she was here….could he be, too?_

Faust flickered her tongue, stretching in the direction of the pool. _She wanted to show me something._

Sitting on the edge of the gazing pool, I slowly leant over the side to peer into the reflective water. _Listen._ The more I concentrated on the shapes in the water, the more they changed. Colors began to deepen, shadows twisting.

My reflection faded away, replaced by…"Asra?" His name fell from my lips before I could think about it.

Asra drew water to his face, drinking deeply. Each drop that trickled from his hands sent ripples across his image when it touched the surface.

 _I was seeing him through the water._ My mouth dropped open in shock. _Well, this was new._

The man shook out his curls, blinking water from his vibrant eyes. Suddenly, he looked straight at me. I tensed when he spoke my name, "Cassandra?"

 _Could he see me?_ When he leaned forwards, I could practically count the droplets hanging from his thick, pale eyelashes. "Can you hear me?" He asked, astonished. Unable to formulate a proper response, I nodded.

_If this was no spell of his, then how was I able to see him? Speak to him?_

I barely kept myself from dipping my hand into the water, as if I could reach through it.

"Incredible." With his face close to the surface, I watched Asra break into laughter, dimple denting his right cheek.

From my viewpoint, he appeared to be sitting cross-legged, likely beside a pond. The water didn't seem to be moving. His mount - a strange, shaggy beast - laid beside him, their large head resting on his clothed knee.

Asra's violet eyes flickered to my right, "Ah, there's Faust. Looks like she found you all right." The snake in question hissed happily, tongue tickling the side of my neck. "I wasn't sure about leaving her, but after that reading you gave me…" His smile dropped, looking sheepish, "I thought I'd trust my intuition."

A thought hovered on the tip of my tongue, unbidden and bitter. _You left her here to spy on here._ Shaking it away, I smiled at the snake coiled around my shoulders, "I'm glad that she's here." Faust looked very proud of herself, a job well done. In the reflection, Asra looked pretty pleased with himself, too. I couldn't help but laugh. _What a pair._

I hadn't realized how much I had missed them both until now.

"I'm glad that you're here, too." My lips twitched at the rising flush on his cheeks.

 _How could someone be so enigmatic and so easily embarrassed at the same time?_ The beast on his knee gave a low, rumbling snort of agreement.

"Where is here, exactly?" Asra tilted his head, studying the space around my head, "I know that tree…" His eyes widened, "Are you at the palace?" _Changing the subject, how typical._ I rolled my eyes, smiling.

Regardless, I relayed the days' events to him, taking comfort in the familiarity of it all. The more I spoke, the more those violet eyes glimmered with interest. Speaking to him whilst awake provided a balm to my agitated nerves, soothing the sharp bitterness and frustration from the dream. Even the ghostly figure in the dark hall didn't feel as terrifying now, talking to Asra in this peaceful garden. Night birds sang around me, and the fountain provided a pleasant backdrop.

"Unbelievable," He shook his head, white curls falling into his tanned face, "The day I leave was the day you needed me the most. And even then, you didn't even really need me at all." Something crossed his face, but was gone before I could address it.

 _We've always relied on one another, even if I've never understood why he wanted me around. We both knew I leaned on him more, with my lack of expertise and mysterious past._ My ears warmed at the thought; thankfully, the man before me was too distracted.

"I'm glad Faust is with you, at least. I would guess that she had something to do with this. If anything happens to either of you, I'll know. I can live with that." He shrugged, scarf slipping from his shoulder.

I remembered the previous morning in the marketplace - _it felt like ages ago_ \- and grinned, knowing he'd get a kick out of it, "Nasir called you a rascal."

Asra raised a single eyebrow, smirking, "Did he really?"

Something shifted in his gaze, burning against my skin despite the cool night air, "Well…"

The shaggy beast groaned, reluctantly pulling my eyes away from the white-haired man. "Ah," Asra glanced down at the waking creature, running a hand through it's fur absentmindedly, "Looks like we've rested long enough. We have to go. But… I'm really glad I got to see you again."

The look he gave me made up for the pang of disappointment at the news. "Me too." I admitted. "This was...nice." He suddenly seemed shy, running a hand through his curls. _It truly had been._

With one last glance, they moved out of view. The water shifted to an image of a rust-colored sandstorm and the sound of heavy winds before clearing.

Faust slipped through my right sleeve, curling up on the pool's stone edge. "I miss him, too." I sighed, running my fingers over her scales.

Although I wished to remember more of the dream - _or memory?_ \- part of me was relieved that I couldn't.

Whatever we'd spoken about was...upsetting, to say the least. I didn't particularly envy waking up to tears and an aching weight in my chest. Perhaps, it would be better to live in this temporary, ignorant bliss.

_If you could call it that._

Sighing, I turned to study my own reflection for a moment.

I'd always found it amusing that Asra's eyes were only a shade or two lighter than my hair; the waves fell around my face and back, a strand or two dipping into the water. It was easier to tie it up, and Asra often insisted the locks should fall freely around my waist.

 _He hadn't explicitly said as much, but the look in his eyes_...I swallowed, focusing on the bags forming underneath my own. _The color of moss._ My eyes weren't as dark as the small plant, but just as muted. _Muted was a good word for it, for me._ An apprentice without any memories of her past. Defined by what I don't know, who I used to be. _Adrift._..I stared blankly at my reflection, then dipped my hand into the pool, watching the ripples dissolve the image.

"That snake has gotten..." The wind suddenly picked up, and I strained to hear the words within it, "much bigger." The garden around me was empty, aside from Faust's drowsy form on the ledge… _.I needed sleep._ Even the rustling leaves sounded too much like a voice. Scooping up the sleepy snake, I quickly retreated from the maze's center, away from the blank surface of the pool.


	9. Book 5: The Emperor (Day)

I woke with a groan, wincing at the brightness. “Morning!” Portia chirped, sounding much too cheerful. 

_ Wait, Portia?  _

I scrambled backwards in the bed, nearly hitting my head.  _ Where was -Oh, the palace. The summoning, I remembered now. _

“What a lovely sunrise,” Portia commented, busing herself with the curtains, “Did you sleep well?”  _ I hadn’t noticed before, but by the stars, this room was huge. Almost as big as our shop.  _ The reminder of Asra made my breath catch, so I swung my legs to the side of the bed. 

_ New day, after all.  _

“I hope the dogs didn’t wake you last night. Something set them off, causing a ruckus.” She let out a sigh of annoyance, “Sniffing around the garden of all places. I was afraid we had an intruder!” Placing a hand on her hip, Portia chuckled, “Wouldn’t that just be exactly what we need right now?” 

Mercifully, she was oblivious to the guilt written across my face.  _ Not quite an intruder... _

“Well, I didn’t find anyone.” Portia appeared just as relieved as I felt, “It’s a good thing too, because all I had on hand was a shovel. That could’ve gotten ugly.” She shuddered for a moment, then perked up, “Anyway, breakfast will be served shortly! I’ll let you freshen up, then we’ll head over.” All I could do was listen and nod, for she seemed to be able to speak endlessly without pause.  _ Where does she get her energy from? It’s pleasant, if not slightly intense.  _

“By the way,” Portia set down an item, giving me an appraising look, “The Countess has requested that you bring your cards with you.”  _ My cards?  _ I was fully awake now. 

_ Why? Another test disguised as a reading?  _

“Ah, also,” Portia remembered something, turning towards a pile of silk by the door, “these are for you.” 

Accepting the clothes, I unfold the top piece, marveling at the way the fabric moved in the sunlight.  _ Beautiful.  _

The silk was a rich shade of green that I assumed was meant to match my eyes. “These are…” I trailed off, vastly undeserving of the elegant material. “I hope you don’t mind,” The red-haired woman smiled at my reaction, “I have explicit orders to make sure you’re not wearing the same thing you were wearing yesterday.”

I glanced at my old clothes, then grimaced.  _ A little worse for wear, especially after the ash... _ his _ ash.  _ Suddenly, the sunlight wasn’t warm enough. 

“Thank you,” I tried to convey my gratitude, sending the kindly servant a small smile. Portia chuckled, “I’ll give you some privacy. Meet me in the hall after you’ve finished.” With that, she ducked out of the room. 

After taking a moment to study the space around me - I hadn’t been paying much attention to it yesterday - I slipped into the silky garments. It took longer than anticipated, fumbling with the delicate clasps and buttons.  _ Complicated.  _ Finally, the fabric settled around me, fluttering over my limbs like a gentle breeze.

_ It felt as though I wore nothing at all.  _

Peering inside my bag, I frowned in disappointment.  _ No sign of Faust. Thought she might’ve been hiding in there.  _ Before I stepped into the corridor, I grabbed my shawl; as comfortable as the new clothes were, I needed something familiar. 

_ Everything around me was new and strange. A little shawl wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? _

My stomach flipped at the idea of the Countess’s displeasure.

“Oooh,” Portia clapped her hands together when I joined her in the bright hall, delighted, “Don’t you look nice!” My face flushed with a strange sense of pride at the approving grin, “The Countess has a real eye for fashion. She’ll definitely be pleased. Let’s not keep her waiting, shall we?” Portia’s gaze flickered to the shawl, but didn’t comment on it. 

Fighting back a grin, I wrapped my personal armor around my shoulders, following the curly-haired woman to the dining room. 

The previously intimidating room felt brighter and welcoming, sweets scents drifting from the servants’ entrance. People bustled to and fro, weaving around other workers with golden trays and handfuls of bouquets.  _ Already preparing for the Masquerade.  _ When I entered, the Countess was already seated...and appeared to be nursing a headache. 

There was a flash of concern - but not surprise - on Portia’s face when the Countess cradled her forehead. “Good morning, Cassandra,” The elegant woman spared me a brief glance under her palm, “I trust you had a pleasant night’s sleep.” 

I thought of the dream and my conversation at the fountain, then simply nodded, “I did, thank you. And you, Countess?” 

As I was settled into the chair beside her, my blood nearly froze at the stern look on her face. 

“As I clarified last night, I’d like you to call me Nadia, not…” She waved her free hand in the air, “Countess.”  _ Whoops.  _ “As for sleep, I had an exceptionally miserable one. The dreams were… vivid. Enough to frighten me awake, and yet I cannot remember any of them. And then, of course, the dogs were feeling active. Hello, Portia.”  The red-haired woman leaned forwards, hand hovering by Nadia’s shoulder, “Coffee, milady?” Nadia closed her eyes and nodded, “Ugh, please.” 

I wondered what her dreams had been about. While Portia crossed the room to a golden contraption in the far corner, the woman beside me stroked her temples. Lowering her hands, the full force of her gaze was suddenly upon me.  _ Half-awake, and still terrifying.  _ I resisted the urge to shift in the plush chair as she studied me. 

“You’ve changed,” She commented, sounding pleased.  _ Changed?  _

“Is that the ensemble I sent down?”  _ Oh. Oh, right, of course.  _ “My, my. The difference is astounding. One would hardly recognize you.” 

_ That was a compliment, was it not?  _ I swallowed, tucking one foot under the other. 

“The fit appears to be correct. Those garments you came with were most unkind to you.”  Under her shameless scrutiny -  _ and comments  _ \- my face began to warm. Unfortunately, she didn’t stop there, “Who would have guessed that you were so becoming underneath? Ah, and how nicely these colors compliment your tones. I do have an impeccable eye, don’t I, Portia?” 

In my tense state, I didn’t notice Portia’s return, flinching in surprise.

“Impeccable,” Portia seemed to pick up on my discomfort, sending a cheeky wink in my direction. 

Thankfully, the coffee and arrival of our food distracted the Countess…or Nadia, as she insisted on being called... _ This was going to be an adjustment.  _

Before us was placed a sumptuous egg dish, steam still rising from the plate. Meanwhile, the blue-feathered servant from last night moved to the Countess’s side to report some goings-on. I drowned out the chatter to focus on my meal, marveling at its delicate texture.  _ And yet _ … my eyes kept flicking up to the painting on the wall.  _ It’s watching me, somehow.  _

“You may tell them that they have no choice in the matter.” Nadia’s sharp tone broke me out of my temporary reverie. The chamberlain bowed obediently, “Will that be all, your grace?” 

_ What would that be like, to have everyone follow your every beck and whim?  _

“That will be all.” Nadia confirmed, eyes drifting to me. 

_ I would hate it. I can barely stand being the center of attention as is. Speaking of… _

”Now then, Cassandra.” Hearing my name in that tone made my nerves re-alight, fluttering in my stomach. “I understand that you have your cards with you?”  _ Already? I supposed the Countess  _ was _ rather straight-to-the-point.  _

Cautiously, I pulled my satchel into my lap, nodding silently.  _ How timid I must seem to someone like her.  _

“Splendid. First and foremost,” Her hands formed a steeple in front of her face, expression growing solemn, “In thirteen days, we will be celebrating the Count’s birthday. Preparations, as you know, are well underway. So I must ask you to be expedient in this. It is not my intention to rush you. But by the time the day is out… I will need to know whether you intend to cooperate with me.” Nadia’s ruby gaze pinned me to my seat, and I gripped my bag tighter, “Unless, perchance, you have decided to do so already?” 

_ The proposal. Finding the accused murderer, Julian Devorak. Who I have already run into. Who Portia somehow knows.  _

I couldn’t see Portia’s face, but the stiffness in her limbs signified that she was listening intently. 

_ They all were, _ I realized. Countless pairs of eyes lingered on me, even as the flow of servants continued to move past. 

_ What choice did I have? _

Subtly taking a deep breath, I gave her my answer, “Yes. I’ll help you...Nadia.” 

_ My own curiosity wouldn’t allow me to leave, either.  _

Nadia’s smile was practically radiant.

“A wise choice,” She nodded, affirming, “I am pleased to hear it. If you serve me well, you will have my utmost gratitude. And of course, a generous reward.” 

_ If.  _

_ She still wasn’t sure, not that I blamed her. She’d been searching for a magician, for Asra.  _

“Together, we will make a fine team. Our forces combined are quite formidable. You and I, my guard, and those cards of yours.” Her gaze fell pointedly on the bag in my lap. I almost pulled it closer to me, away from prying eyes, but instead retrieved the deck. 

The Countess’s weary visage melted into a satisfied smile, “It is a glorious morning, a new day. I trust that my fortune will have changed. Read the cards for me again, Cassandra.” Her eyes met mine before returning to the cards, “I would like to know what they have to share on the heels of this fortuitous news.” Without another word, I closed my eyes.

As usual, the feeling of my master’s deck in my hands was slightly unnerving. They left a faint tingling sensation on my fingertips, much like the energy from Asra’s hands in mine. 

_ Distracting, but familiar.  _ It helped to empty my mind, even with the muted noises around us. 

_ Here. _

With a card in hand, I opened my eyes once more. 

The bull stared up at me, balancing golden objects in his flipped hands.  _ Upside-down.  _ “The Emperor, reserved.” I declared, listening to the card’s silent voice.

“And what does he say for me?” Nadia leant closer, eyes glimmering with interest.  _ Expectant. _

Rising to meet her gaze, I allowed the message to pass through my lips, “You wear a facade of power, a distraction from how powerless you feel. Your need to control the world around you is a reflection of the chaos within you. And now, you are using your authority to feed your ego...to consume those around you in your hunger for dominance.” 

The room went completely and utterly silent.

I felt myself pale, mirroring the shocked expressions around us.

Even Portia reacted similarly, hands clasped over her mouth, blue eyes wide. No one dared so much as to breathe. 

_ By the stars... _ I abruptly wished I hadn’t eaten, feeling the nausea climb up my throat.  _ And yet... _ The Countess looked pleased.  _ What?  _

She slowly plucked the card from the table, examining it curiously. “I see.” Was all she said, “That is all very presumptuous of him.” I forced my mouth to remain closed as she chuckled, rising from her seat. The servants around the table quivered with anticipation, eyes dancing between us. 

_ I expected her to believe those bold words to be mine, and mine only. Especially with the rumors about her...perception on fortune tellers.  _

Tilting her head, Nadia appeared to study me for what felt like hours. Finally, she gracefully waved her hand at the door. “I should like to invite you to stroll. I trust you have no other engagements?” She glided towards the exit before I could respond, “There is something I would like to show you.” 

I felt the eggs I had just consumed somersault. “O-of course.” I stuttered out, quickly gathering Asra’s deck.  Stuffing my shawl into the satchel, I nearly ran out the door to catch up with her long strides, the people in the dining room beginning to move again. 

_ Good luck,  _ their eyes seemed to say.

The moment I left, whispers broke out behind us. 

Once I had fallen into step with her, the Countess turned to me with an unsettling smile.  “You will be pleased, I think.” I wondered how sincere the statement was, given my reading. “Then again,” She chuckled, “you are more of a mystery than I expected. Portia.” 

As if summoned, Portia appeared on the Countess’s opposite side. “Coming!” She replied. 

Portia must’ve been used to it, for she kept in stride with the taller woman. Unfortunately, I found myself struggling to keep pace; I hardly paid attention to my surroundings until they grew more familiar.  _ I’m also simply relieved after that reading. The Emperor was always fairly outspoken, regardless of the subject. But to say that to the Countess of Versuvia... _

We passed the marble staircase, blissfully quick.  _ No dogs this time...or perhaps they were curled up in the shadows, out of sight.  _ The Countess must’ve noticed my shift in attention, smiling sweetly, “If you are looking for the hounds, they will be having their morning meal about now.” 

“Do they frighten you?” Nadia asked, “I assure you, they are most well behaved. Usually, anyway. You seem to have a kinship with animals.” I felt vulnerable under her curious gaze, even as we left the staircase behind, “In fact, Portia tells me you were rather enchanted with one of our security eels.”

_...Was that so? _ To the Countess’s right, I spied the subtle smirk on the ginger woman’s lips.

“I find them rather enchanting as well.” Nadia continued, the corner of her lips dipping, “Though they are quite unhappy here. Their native climate is deep in the South. Icy, dark waters.” She sighed, “I find they are neither suited for warm weather nor bright light.” 

The Countess paused abruptly, and I had to force myself to stop alongside her. “Well then,” Her ruby eyes were bright with excitement, “here we are.”

Before us laid a massive panel in the wall, almost four times my height. Smooth wood in various shades ran across the surface like rippling honey. Carved with dizzying intricacy was a great tree in the height of maturity. My eyes followed winding roots around one another, disappearing into the floor. Wooden leaves and shining fruit were inlaid, covered in jewels and precious stones.  _ It was gorgeous...and likely cost more than anything I’d ever seen.  _

I hadn’t realized I’d been openly staring until Portia jogged up to us, panting.  _ Where had she gone?  _ For some reason, she radiated nervous energy, coming off of her in jittery waves. I clenched my bag tighter, swallowing back another wave of my own nerves.  “Portia, if you would be so kind.” Nadia smiled at the woman, any tension from the dining room melting away. 

_ How long has Portia worked for Nadia?  _

“Of course.” Portia nodded, pulling a large ring of keys from her pocket.

There had to be at least a dozen, each carved with the same wood from the panel and bearing a distinct jewel.  _ Opal, jasper, ruby.  _ One by one, she found the corresponding lock in the panel in a seemingly random location. At one point, she rose on her tiptoes to reach the sapphire lock. My mouth dropped open as the wooden roots began to unwind themselves, pulling free from the floor. Once each key had been inserted, the panel folded upon itself like a paper fan.  I struggled to keep my composure.

The library was filled with the smell of greenery and freshly sown stories.

I turned in a circle, neck aching as I tried to see the extent of the room. Books were  _ everywhere. _ Winding up the walls, reaching for the ceiling, tucked away in little nooks and crannies.  _ Asra told me about places like this...I’ve always wanted to see one for myself.  _ I covered my mouth to hide my delighted laugh, grin stretching my cheeks.  _ This was incredible. Everything I’d imagined it to be and more. I could live here forever, just reading each and every - _ “Do you read, Cassandra?” My name snapped me back to reality, and I spun in the Countess’s direction.

“Yes,” I was too excited to care if my response was winded, grinning uncontrollably, “Yes, I do.” Nadia’s painted lips curled up in amusement, “I suspected you might.”  Behind us, the door closed with a rhythmic, mechanical sound. The clink of metal and jewels echoed in the space as Portia lingered nearby, fiddling with the ring of keys. 

There were so many books here. Tall, crisp volumes on mathematics beside broad leather atlases of faraway lands.  _ I had no idea so many existed!  _

_Each one with years, maybe lifetimes of wisdom to share_ … My fingers itched to run along their spines, but I resisted.  _ Books like these were worth more than anything I could afford to barter.  _

“It is a great gift to read.” Nadia’s gaze roamed around the room, “Where I come from, it is shared amongst all citizens, regardless of birth. But woefully uncommon here. I suppose you were taught by a relative? Or… your master, perhaps? Am I wrong? They say the two of you are very close.” The comment hit too close to home, and my elation wilted.  My smile fell, and I nodded in response. 

“Millady is in a teasing mood this morning.” Portia smiled from her place beside the door, shifting her weight onto each foot. 

“Indeed,” Nadia’s eyes flashed at Portia, smirking, but suddenly winced. Portia’s fidgeting paused when the Countess raised a hand to her forehead, grimacing. “Ah, my headache returns. This way, if you please.” 

In the backhand corner of the library was a tiny window, casting slim rays of daylight across a desk. 

The surface was stacked with items, ranging from books and journals to papers and a small inkpot. Despite the clutter, everything appeared carefully organized.  _ Someone’s place of study, preserved in time.  _

“Cassandra, do you know why Doctor Devorak came to the palace?” I met her eyes, “I suppose you would...after all, your master was here for the same purpose. To concoct a cure for the disease.” For some reason, the words run cold through my veins. 

_ The Red Plague,  _ I had been told,  _ swept through the city like wildfire. It claimed young and old, frail and strong. There was no way to tell who would be the next to fall until the telltale red in the whites of someone’s eyes. _

Asra had been characteristically vague about the times, so I had gone to the next best source, Inas. 

_ There’d been something akin to pity in her eyes. _

“Go easy on him,” Inas had placed a hand on my shoulder, looking unusually somber.  _ Even she hadn’t told me why.  _

_ More questions than answers.  _

“As you know,” Nadia explained, “the Count and I called upon the city, to whomever might be of use in this quest. Physicians, scientists, alchemists, witches… yes, even fortune tellers.” Her gaze drifted to where I stood, beside the desk, “All were invited to the palace, in hopes that our resources may aid in their research… Whosoever was able to find a cure, the city and the palace both would be forever in their debt. Perhaps he was plotting even then… but the doctor accepted our invitation. As did your Master Asra.” 

Her eyes shifted to the window, and a strange shadow crossed her sunlit face.  _ Curious.  _

Subtly, I tried to glimpse through the window.  _ That’s odd.  _ I glanced at the woman, then back at the window’s view. 

_ It’s where the willow tree hangs over the garden fountain. _

With a graceful shake of her head, the Countess gestured to the paper-laden desk, “This desk belonged to the good doctor. I have had its contents examined laboriously. Nothing of consequence has been found. But with such a volume of evidence, something may yet be hiding here. Something I may have overlooked. Perhaps you will have better luck than I in finding it.” 

Her hand lingered on the cover of a well-worn tome. “Well, then.” She cleared her throat, forehead smoothing, “Good luck, Cassandra.” 

The panel folded behind them, leaving me alone in the empty library. 

_ Maybe not completely alone... _ I smiled, hand brushing over the books on the doctor’s desk. 

_ It held secrets, but where to start?  _

Another glance revealed a stack of books, a leather-bound folio, and various scrolls tucked into a row of drawers. Some of the books were threadbare and well-loved, others seemingly brand-new and dressed in rich leather. 

Picking up one of the older tomes, I dusted off the cover and flipped it open.  _ A surgical guide, it appeared.  _ With some discomfort, I realized some of the diagrams were stained with old blood. Most of the pages were covered, both in hand-drawn images and the doctor’s scribbling handwriting. A drawing of a physician using a curled tool to bleed a patient had a single, dark “No” scribbled alongside it. Some of the writing had a distinct quality of frenzy and frustration. But other than that… _His handwriting was completely indecipherable._

Sighing, I turned towards the drawer of scrolls. In my hands, the paper was soft, almost powdery to the touch. For this particular scroll, the doctor’s handwriting was neater, if not still barely legible. My eyes were drawn to the isolated, cursive “J” at the bottom. 

_ A signature? Then maybe... _ The letter was addressed at the top, but his handwriting...Frowning, I squinted at the messy ink words. 

_ Dear...dear sister?  _

My eyes widened, and I nearly dropped the scroll.  _ Did he have a sister?  _

To my knowledge - or more accurately, to Inas’s knowledge - the man was a bachelor with no family to speak of. 

I studied the scroll, wondering what to make of this information. 

Rolling up the scroll, I placed it on the seat of the abandoned chair.  _ I would return to it later. For now... _ The next pile was mostly loose papers, arranged to one side.

Practically golden with age, the pages were thin, transparent in the sunlight. Shifting gently through the pile, my magic swirled at my fingertips.  _ Eager, searching, but for what?  _

They appeared to be mostly records; dates, times, and other incomprehensible scribbles. Some even had drawings. 

_ Drawings?  _

Unlike the textbooks, these drawings weren’t of medical practices or anatomy. My gaze studied the strange patterns and swirl of shapes, wondering why they looked so familiar, like I should’ve recognized them on sight. 

_ They almost looked like maps? No, that wasn’t it.  _ The answer lingered on the tip of my tongue, frustratingly close. 

There was a sudden, mechanical clicking behind me; without thinking, I rewinded the scroll, shoving it carelessly into my bag.

_ It felt important.  _ As footsteps echoed in the library, I grabbed the letter, adding it to my impromptu, illicit collection.  _ Just in case.  _

“Cassandra,” Portia all but sang, voice bouncing from the high ceiling and walls. 

Her head peeked around the corner of a bookshelf, grinning, “I hope I didn’t startle you. There’s something going on out by the garden. The Countess is requesting your presence at once.” 

She studied the pile beside me, then moved closer, “Did you find anything interesting? Clues?” I could’ve sworn that relief crossed her face when I shook my head.  _ Nothing worth sharing to the Countess, yet.  _ Portia shrugged, still smiling, “Well, it’ll take a while to go through everything. You can try again later.” Her hand lingered on the edge of the chair. 

Glancing up at me, Portia nodded towards the exit, “I’ve got the keys, so you can find me the next time you want to have a look. But for now… let’s go see what all the fuss is about.” Reluctantly, I allowed her to lead me out of the beautiful, mysterious room. 

_ The Countess did say I could return... _ Strangely enough, the curly-haired woman beside me fell quiet, her pace more hurried than I remembered.  _ I didn’t realize how often she spoke until...she simply didn’t.  _

The longer we walked in silence, the more anxious I became. 

_ What now? _


	10. Book 5: The Emperor (Day) contd.

In the light of day, the garden bloomed to life; a symphony of birdsong echoed from every direction, and the air was thick with the sweet fragrance. Vines wrapped around the towering columns on either side of the balcony, encased in white marble.

Framed by the sun, Nadia's figure was haloed in golden light as we approached, hands held sagely behind her back.

As she peered over her shoulder, the pearls and emeralds in her hair caught the sun. "Forgive me for drawing you away, Cassandra," Nadia drawled, a strange edge to her smile, "I do not wish to obstruct your investigation. It just so happens that I was thinking about that fortune you gave me earlier."

 _Uh-oh._ I suddenly understood Portia's silence.

 _This couldn't be good._ Her face was mysteriously neutral, hiding any real emotions. "Rumor would have it that I dislike fortune tellers. This is not entirely true." She draped a hand on the ledge beside her, "I only dislike those that profit by telling their clients whatever they want to hear…Or by saying whatever they want to say."

The pointed look was fairly obvious. _She was upset after all._

I struggled to keep my face blank. Some of the fear must've shown, however, for she turned to face me, "I am not accusing you, Cassandra. I would merely suggest that most fortune tellers in this city are fakes."

 _By the stars, did she think I was a fake, too?_ The thought of Asra's disappointment - combined with the Countess's disdain - left a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach.

 _I knew I wasn't fit for this, I knew -_ "And yet," Her voice cut through the spiraling worries, "I do feel that you are the genuine article. Though I cannot explain why."

... _Why did I not feel relieved?_

Her smile began to grow, "So I have devised a test. More of a game, really." Ruby eyes sparkled mischievously, only serving to make my palms clammy.

_A game?_

"If you win," Her shoulders rose and fell gracefully, "then I will know your worth and question it no further. And if you lose… " _She could turn anyone into a statue with that look._ I gripped my satchel tight, wondering what the Countess considered to be a proper "game".

"All the better for you, is it not? I shall dismiss you, and you need never set foot here again. Now then," She clapped, "let us summon your competitors. Portia, would you kindly call the prey?" I was sure that my face had grown quite pale by this point.

"The prey?" Portia repeated, confused. "Oh! Oh, the outfits make sense now. Okay." Her features lit with recognition; I was fairly scared of the matching glint in her blue eyes and quirked lips.

 _Prey? Outfits? What was going to happen?_ The butterflies transformed into a buzzing swarm of bees, unrelenting and intensely terrifying. _The unknown often was._

Portia lifted her hand, unleashing a piercing whistle. Together, the three of us peered down into the garden.

From the shrubbery emerged two figures, shuffling with obvious reluctance. From head to toe, they were dressed in fanciful, almost comical costumes. _One dressed as a rabbit, the other as a deer. What was the Countess's plan?_ My mouth felt like sandpaper.

"The game," The Countess was far too amused for my own comfort, "is to hide and hunt. Cassandra, you will be the hunter."

She waved down at the pair without pulling her eyes away from mine, "These two will be your prey." Studying my tense position, she added, "You need not hesitate on their behalf. They have earned their place." Her gaze shifted to the men in costumes.

"You, down there." The pair immediately jerked to attention, stiff as boards. The rabbit's ear slid to the right side of his head, but he dared not to move. "You may remove your masks. For the moment." At Nadia's command, the rabbit and deer clumsily unfastened the masks from their faces. Moving to stand beside the Countess, I recognized them instantly. _The guards from the bridge._

_Was this a punishment of sorts?_

"Millady, this is embarrassing." The one Portia had spoken to, Randolph, fidgeted in place.

" _You_ are embarrassing." Nadia responded, amusement fading. I shivered at the ice in her tone.

"Have you already forgotten how beastly you were to our guest? It is only fitting that you should be dressed as such." "Yes, millady." The guards dropped to kneel before her, cautious of their elaborate attire.

Content, the Countess glanced in my direction, a surprisingly sympathetic crease on her brow, "I do hope it does not trouble you to chase them. They were most unfriendly to you, were they not?" _This felt like part of the test._ Meeting her eyes, I swallowed, then replied in a clear voice, "They had good intentions." My eyes drifted to the pair, whose flushed faces were lowered. "They were only trying to protect you, Countess."

At the sharp look from the taller woman, I quickly corrected myself, "Nadia."

The careful answer wasn't quite what she'd been searching for; anger flashed in her luminous eyes, somehow both frightening and beautiful.

"No, they were only satisfying their own rampant paranoia, not mine." She turned her gaze to the guards, "Their lust for violence and intimidation is mortifying. I shall not excuse it." If possible, the pair shrunk into themselves further, eliciting a brief moment of pity. Despite the knowledge that I was treading on thin ice, I responded, "They were worried about you."

Nadia lifted her chin, painted lips downturned, "If they were, they might have consulted with me. Instead, they continued to act as they pleased. However, if it is so distasteful to you…" The Countess sighed, "I suppose I can devise another punishment."

Before I could agree, something in her tone made the guards panic. "No, milady!" The rabbit guard bolted upright, eyes wide. "No...uh, no need for that!" Randolph shook his head, mask gripped tightly in his white hands. "We're honored to do this!" They bowed further, noses brushing against the tips of grass at their feet. "The costumes are…" They exchanged a nervous look, "very well-crafted!"

 _What kind of alternate punishments were they so scared of?_ I warily studied the Countess to my left.

"Indeed." Nadia hummed, nodding in satisfaction at their reaction, "Fortunate that my husband had such enthusiasm for the arts. Mask yourselves, then. We shall continue as planned. If there are no further objections…" Her silent question fell to me, eyes flashing. Immediately, I shook my head, silent.

_Especially after that show of power._

"I shall explain the purpose of our game. This morning at breakfast, I found myself considering the task before us. We seek to find one man in a city of thousands…a city where gossip moves more swiftly than we ever could." Portia let out a snort of amusement; our eyes met for a brief moment before she turned back to the Countess. _Why did Portia_ _look so pale?_

Nadia cleared her throat.

Cheeks burning, I returned my attention to her. "As I was saying," Her lips twitched, only serving to make me more nervous, "It is daunting, but not impossible. Fate has already drawn him back to town for us."

 _She knew?_ I fought to keep my expression neutral. "But for what purpose, and for how long? Our window of opportunity may be quite slim." She stared out past the garden, towards Versuvia. "I came to the conclusion that we must not pursue him without knowing exactly where to look. Easier said than done, of course. The doctor's desk may very well hold the key, but how long until we find it?"

I shifted guiltily, thinking of the borrowed scrolls in my bag.

"And then I thought… perhaps we might use what we have in another way. Perhaps we might use magic." As if gauging my reaction, red eyes met green.

"Is it not possible that something in that desk holds meaning to the doctor? Something dear to him, an attachment that might linger to this day? Even a single leaf of paper may possess a tether to his soul, so that a magician need only follow it."

The letter to the doctor's mysterious sister seemed to burn a hole in my side.

"And if that is indeed possible… is your magic refined enough to do it?" _Given what I found, it was definitely possible...but my magic has never been used for anything like this. I would be flying blind._ Somehow, she must've read my mind, "If you have never done such a thing before, worry not. You are about to do just that."

 _A test_ and _practice for finding Doctor Julian...clever. Two birds, one stone._

"Your prey will be trying to evade you. Moving targets, as the doctor will be. They will hide wherever they so please. Your goal is to hunt one of them down." She turned to face me fully, and I sucked in a deep breath. "One I have given a single leaf of paper. The other…"

Nadia's smile vanished, "Your Emperor card."

I felt my heart stutter in my chest, eyes growing wide in shock. The Countess returned my incredulous stare with a patient, shameless smile. _She couldn't have… when did she…_

This morning, at the reading… She took the card from the table to examine it.

_And never gave it back._

This was no bluff. She really gave one of them my Emperor card. _Not mine… but Asra's._

A hot flush of panic coursed through my veins, suddenly finding it much more difficult to breathe. Though I had yet to understand how, Asra's deck was uncommonly powerful. _To lose one of the so-called major arcana…I was too careless._

Picturing my potential explanation to Asra only made the panic worse; I shifted away the balcony's edge, dizzy.

"Well then," The Countess's voice was deceptively light, "Do you understand the instructions? It is quite simple. Find the guard carrying your Emperor card before the day is out."

I followed her gaze to the guards below. "So long as you can do this, I am confident you will be able to lead me to the doctor's door." Laying a hand on my trembling shoulders, the woman leaned down to speak softly in my ear, "Trust your intuition, Cassandra. I have trusted mine, and it led me to you."

 _I wouldn't fail. I couldn't fail._ Slowly, I released my death grip on my satchel strap, rubbing the sore fingers free. The Countess glided to the other side of the balustrade, folding her arms over her chest.

"You! Down there!" She barked. Instantly, the guards straightened, poised for action, "Yes, milady!" Randolph nodded, "What would you have us do?"

"Run." Nadia flashed a borderline feral grin at the pair, ruby glittering in the sunlight, "Run as if capture meant your swift and certain death."

 _By the stars..._ I watched as the guards bolted in opposite directions, scrambling in their haste to escape.

"Oh my." Nadia covered her smirk with a jeweled hand, "I do hope they know I'm not serious about that. And Cassandra?" I all but jumped to attention, much like the jittery guards, "Yes?" She nodded towards the garden, "You may pursue them at my mark. I implore you not to disappoint me."

Swallowing another wave of panic, I silently prayed to the arcana. _I'm coming, Emperor._ The sound of the pair's footsteps grew fainter as the blood pounding my ears became almost deafening. Magic rose to my fingertips.

"Now," Nadia faced the sunlight, practically glowing in her excitement, "Let the game begin!"

Cursing my fate, I sprung into action, almost missing Portia's call of "Good luck!" _Not that luck would help me here._

As I reached the first floor, where the garden lay, the Countess's sickly sweet voice followed, "You have until dawn. Do take care in the night, Cassandra."

_I was going to retrieve that card. And when I returned, I might just give the Countess a piece of my mind...Maybe._

_I've only been a single day at the palace, but I could still admit she's kept me one step behind. Blinded._

My senses were heightened, pricked with adrenaline and a surprising rush of determination. _Which one to follow? Which man had Asra's card?_

To my right, I heard snapping branches. To my left, muffled footfalls from the deer guard. _Who had appeared particularly nervous._

Decision made, I darted into the undergrowth without a second thought.

It was getting darker, clouds drifting above my head through a multi-colored sky. The cool air was a small relief against my sunbeaten brow as I made my way through the city.

 _I had followed the deer guard into the underbrush, through the maze of bushes and exotic plants._ I glanced down at the various leaves stuck to my garments. _A bit overdressed for such a "game"._ Brushing the foliage off the best I could, my eyes darted around the darkened street.

 _I had run into - quite literally - the Count's dogs, Mercedes and Melchior._ After feeding them the forgotten pomegranate in my satchel - _what they had been after the previous night_ , _mouths stained a gruesome red from the fruit_ \- the animals had led me to a hidden, rusted door in the back of the maze.

A valley had laid before me, wind swelling through the golden grass, rushing through my loosened braid. The meadow was indeed breath-taking, sweet smelling fields under the high-noon sun. After a moment's hesitation, I threw myself down the hill, briefly thriving under the afternoon sun and wind and gentle touch of hillgrass against my skin.

_And here I was, on the outskirts of Versuvia._

_No sign of the guards, yet._ There was a small twinge of regret. _Maybe I should've remained within the maze. What were the chances that they were here, in the city?_

Still, I kept moving. _It wasn't dawn yet. I had time._ Magic buzzed beneath my skin, almost thrilled by the chase. _At least someone was._

I stepped over an abandoned cart, rose-colored clay beneath my feet. _I didn't recognize this part of town._ My breath quickened in pace, tremors of anxiety radiating from my core, spreading all the way to my fingers.

 _Start with your breath_. Echoes of Asra's teachings soothed my trembling limbs. _Think only about your breath. Savor your breath, lead with your heart and be present._ I slowly exhaled, relaxing my grip. _I'd been conditioned to embrace these feelings of excitement._

_And uncertainty, occasionally._

Pushing away the blurred memories of painful headaches and forgotten moments, I continued on, gathering an aura of protective energy. _It wouldn't hide me, instead allowing me to travel unbothered._ A group of skinny cats picked clean a pile of bones as I passed.

 _Presumably fish bones…_ The next street was narrow and slippery; shabby stones were layered like scales, making it difficult to maneuver over scattered trash and random items. Clustered apartments lined either side, shutters thrown open to allow conversation and squabbling to cut through the humid air.

With the faintest sound of rushing water, I weaved through the foreign backstreets, suddenly feeling quite parched. A profound thirst clung uncomfortably to the back of my throat. _By the stars, I could certainly use a drink...but I had to find that deer guard, first. What was his name again?_

In front of me, a door opened, spilling warm light across jagged stone steps. Raucous laughter and music escaped from the opening, the sound of boot clips growing louder.

_Randolph? No, that had been the other one._

"Oh, I'll be back." A voice cheerfully called from the doorway, "Just stepping out for some air."

 _The rabbit guard, right? Portia mentioned -_ The door slammed shut, swiftly drawing me back to the present.

_Auburn hair. Black leather boots._

The figure in front of the tavern stepped into my path, oblivious, and my mouth fell open. _Doctor Julian Devorak, in the flesh._

Stumbling backwards, my grip on the damp stone failed; something hit the back of my knees, toppling me noisily into an empty barrel.

 _By the stars..._ I groaned, feeling a knot begin to form at the back of my head. _Wonderful. Just wonderful._ Like poor placed props, my legs stuck awkwardly out of the barrel, heart thundering in my ears. Strands of violet hair stuck to my face, warmed with embarrassment and slick with sweat.

_I was going to have bruises from this._

The echo of bootsteps grew louder, followed by a familiar voice. "Hello," The doctor sounded as if he was trying to disguise his laughter, "That was quite a tumble, are you all right?" _Of all the people to run into._

I blinked at the gloved hand inches from my face as the man moved into my limited view.

_Stuck in a barrel like a fish. A human-sized, incredibly clumsy, fish._

Upon meeting my eyes, Doctor Devorak reared back in surprise.

"The...the shopkeep?" He stammered, smile frozen on his face, "What are you doing here?" I managed to wave up at him, elbow pinned uncomfortably to my side, "Hello." _If this wasn't so utterly ridiculous, I would've laughed._

A stray curl fell into his face as he leaned forwards, a firm grip encircling each of my wrists. He seemed to shake off the shock, lips pulling to the right in a large smirk, "Little early in the evening to be stumbling around in alleys, isn't it?"

At my dry expression, the doctor openly chuckled, "I'm joking. It's never too early. Come on, upsy-daisy."

The wanted-murderer-slash-doctor hauled me out of the barrel with surprising ease, the barrel wobbling before settling back into place. For a moment, the world spun around me.

_Whoa._

My bag slipped from my shoulder, sending all of my possessions sprawled across the ground. I staggered forwards when my feet abruptly hit stone, steadying myself against the man's broad chest. Vibrations ran up my legs at the sudden movement, knees weakened. Knocked off balance, the auburn-haired doctor promptly shifted his grip to my upper arms, moving backwards to stabilize us both. 

_What was it with him and close encounters? In every sense of the word._

Pausing, we caught our breath, only to lose it once more; I was practically pressed up against him, body flush with his. My splayed hands spread across his chest, warm beneath my palms. Even with the height difference - the doctor was at least a head or two taller than me - our eyes locked, grey meeting green. _Oh._


	11. Book 5: The Emperor (Night)

In the lamplight, the doctor's cheeks were similarly darkened, releasing his grip on my arms; with a quick pat, he stepped backwards, creating space between us.

"Sooo," He ran a hand through the long curls, "you, ah, last I heard, you...you were bound for the palace." _How did he - Ah, right._ I recalled the night we met, after he had broken into the shop. _I still didn't know how he had gotten in without my noticing._

"Dare I ask what brings you to this neck of the woods?" _Neck of the woods?_ It took longer than I hoped to recover my wits, quickly surveying our surroundings. My eyes were drawn to the sign behind his head, depicting a cackling blackbird on a crescent moon. _The Rowdy Raven._

It was safe to say I'd never been to this particular tavern. Before I could answer - _what would I even say? I'm practicing tracking magic to capture you for the alleged murder of Count Lucio?_ \- the man bent down to gather my scattered belongings.

I quickly followed suit, scooping up the ruined shawl from a nearby puddle. _I'd have to use a drying spell, later._

"Oh, what's this?" With his free hand, he plucked a thin sheet of paper from the ground, unfolding it with ease.

_The letter._

Eyeing the man beside me, I tried to appear casual, shrugging, "You tell me." He blinked, raising his gaze to mine. I nimbly grabbed the remaining items in his other arm, dropping them into the satchel.

"It's your letter," I nodded towards the paper in his grasp. Frowning, he scanned the page with interest, growing more and more pale in the feeble light. I took the opportunity to study him, curious. _But not afraid._

_Why wasn't I afraid?_

After a moment's pause, the doctor raised himself to his full height - _I had to crane my head back to look at him_ \- and handed back the letter. "So it is." He simply replied, "Where did you find it?"

There was no point in lying. "In the library," I nearly smiled at his confused expression, thick eyebrows furrowing. "My desk?" He parroted, tilting his head.

"At the palace." I arched an eyebrow at him, strangely amused.

A searching glance to the side, I almost missed the flinch of pain that crossed his face. _Almost._ "Oh, yes." He sounded strained, "My desk in the library. At the palace. Little window right above it."

"That's the one." I quietly agreed, watching the emotions openly play across his features. _He was so...expressive...and friendly...for a murderer. Suspected murderer._ Even stranger, I had the feeling that I was forgetting something important.

_Crash!_

The doctor didn't react, but I did; I flinched, ducking as glass shattered against the wall, falling by our feet.

Angry shouting came from one of the windows above our heads, prompting a grating squawk from the shadows. I hadn't noticed the raven until the bird fluttered back onto it's spot along the eaves. Dragging a hand over his face, the doctor glanced over his shoulder at the door. He swiftly whipped his head back to grin down at my wary countenance.

"Well!" He exclaimed, hand on his hip, "I am parched. Think I'll head back in. Are you thirsty? You're welcome to join me, if you'd like to."

"Really?" I asked, skeptical.

_He knew I was headed to the palace...did he know about my task, then? The Countess's search? If so, why invite me for a drink?_

"I do still owe you for the reading. My treat?" Biting my lip, I was reminded of the ache in the back of my throat. _Roaming about the city all day without any water…_ "I am thirty," I admitted, peering into the warm light spilling from the door. "Fantastic." His face split into a brilliant grin, sweeping his arm out towards the tavern, "Please, allow me." Enthusiastic, the doctor beckoned me up the stone steps and into the Rowdy Raven.

_Talk about throwing caution to the wind. Or was 'curiosity killed the cat' a more fitting expression?_

The sun had yet to sink below the horizon, but the tavern was in full swing, music blasting from some unknown source. Laughter and shouting intermingled, creating an unexpectedly pleasant symphony. The barkeep - a large, scar-faced, barrel-armed man - shot the doctor a cheeky salute as we passed. For some reason, I felt my ears warm.

Eyes burned into my back, and the doctor-slash-wanted-man causally ushered me around a cackling drunkard with a wooden leg. I tensed when the flap of wings rushed past my right ear, feathers skimming my head as the raven followed us inside. Tutting, my escort wound an arm around my shoulders, guiding us to a booth in the very back. He slid into the opposite seat with ease, long legs brushing against mine in the small space. _How...cozy._ Around us, people of all shapes and sizes chattered and argued, exchanging colorful drinks and large flagons of what I assumed to be ale.

"Hello, earth to shopkeep." The gloved hand in my face made me rear back; I barely avoided hitting my elbow on the seat.

Amusement glimmered in his visible eye, the other still concealed by an eyepatch. _What happened there? Did he lose it when…_ "What can I get you to drink?" He smirked, gesturing to the wooden bar across the room.

Bright bottles littered the various shelves, climbing up to the ceiling in crooked lines. _Even the shelves were tipsy._ I spotted jars full of different items between the drinks, ranging from dirtied coins to rocks and beetles. _Curious._ In my silence, the man before me patted the table, rising from his seat. "You know, how about I take care of it and you make yourself comfortable? I'll be right back." With that, he weaved between other patrons towards the bar, his bobbing head of auburn distinct, even amongst the chaos.

He passed a pair of old women hunched over a card game, surrounded by an energetic, bloodthirsty crowd. A flash of metal glinted in one of the onlooker's pockets.

_How did I end up here, of all places?_

My eyes found the doctor by the bar, chatting happily with the barkeep. _With him?_ The pair laughed, audible from my spot in the corner. _He looked perfectly at ease._

His aura was so different from when I met him at the shop. There was always this desperate, searching feeling to it, but right now...it was muffled, temporarily replaced by companionship and the comfort of familiarity. _How often had he come here, before?_

Somehow, the scene reminded me of Asra's deck. Stomach dropping, I scrambled to check for the cards, as well as my other possessions.

_If I lost the rest of the deck..._

With a massive sigh of relief, my fingers brushed against the cards. _Something was off with them...Of course they would be unsettled with The Emperor missing. I hadn't found either guard yet._ Nerves twisted in my gut, an uncomfortable reminder of the task I so easily abandoned.

 _I still had time._ One glance at the darkened window and the lie fell flat, wholly unconvincing.

The doctor pulled me from my worries, settling down two glasses. "There you are," He smiled, falling into the opposite seat.

"Thank you," I nodded, eyeing the unusual man as he gulped down his own drink. Wary, I studied the golden liquid in my cup. _Smelled faintly of fruit._

When my gaze returned to him, the doctor grinned, "Very smart. Never trust a free drink."

I narrowed my eyes at him, and he laughed loudly, "But ohh, if I was trying to poison you, I would have just ordered the seafood. Anything caught in that river should be given an apology and tossed back." _Was it that bad?_

He reached across the table with ease, taking a dramatic sip of the golden liquid, "See?" The glass was cool beneath my own fingers, warmed by the man's amused smile. Under the light of the tavern, his cheekbones were dramatic, pronounced, eyes hooded in shadow. _Mysterious, even when he's not trying._ The drink was refreshing, only slightly sweet, fizzing down my throat in a surprisingly soothing manner. _It's nice._ My dehydration from the day hit me fully, and before I knew it, the glass was empty.

Licking the last droplets from my lips, I met the doctor's gleaming gaze. Hand under his chin, he leaned forwards, a coy look crossing his sharp features, "You know, I never did get your name." My ears burned. _I honestly hadn't realized until he pointed it out._

"Cassandra Knight." I held out my hand, palm upturned.

For a moment, he looked surprised, then reached forward with a gloved hand. The admiration in his single gaze triggered a brief, fluttering pride in my chest, though I couldn't tell why. _Had he expected me to be scared? Of him, of this place? Was this another test? I was so tired of them..._

"Cassandra." The word rolled between his lips, grey eye meeting mine.

My lips parted in surprise when the man flipped my hand over, pressing a quick kiss to the bare skin. _Oh._

"What a lovely name. Such strength, such presence. Please, Cassandra, call me Julian."

"Flirt." I shot back, watching the color rise to his cheeks. _Good, it'll take the attention away from myself._

He barked, laughter shaking his very shoulders as he shook his head. "If you insist." Leaning against the wooden seat, Julian flashed a grin in my direction, "So, Cassandra," My stomach flipped at the casual use of my name, "I have to ask. How did you wind up in that alley? At first, I thought you might have come for me." I was grateful that I hadn't been taking a sip of the drink. Nevertheless, I covered my surprised cough, struggling to control my expression.

He carried on, seemingly unaware, "On behalf of the palace, of course. But I'm not wearing any chains yet, and you're covered in burrs. Now I may be projecting, but… I'm sensing that you're on the run."

_On the run? From what?_

Something about his smug, knowing smirk made me bristle. _Nobody was even paying us attention…that was probably why he liked the tavern so much. Hiding in plain sight._ Chuckling, Julian stretched, long fingers plucking something from my hair. I flushed at the rather large bramble in his hand.

_How long had that been there?_

Smoothing down the messy braid, I settled for frowning at the enigmatic man. _Anyways, I didn't have to answer him. He's the one that everyone was searching for._ Glancing around the busy room, I mentally corrected, _Well, almost everyone._

Twisting the branch between his fingers, Julian continued to theorize, "Escaped from the palace… down the southward side?" _How did he know that?_ I tried to hide the slight awe. Still, his grin brightened, "Ah, we have so much in common already. Do you have anywhere to go? Back to the magic shop?" I straightened at the mention of home, but he held up a cautionary finger. "Oh, but that is the very first place they'll look. I can still tell you how to get there, but -"

"You can?" I frowned, interrupting the doctor mid-sentence. _How?_

"You bet I can." Tossing the bramble to the floor, his eye flashed in the lamplight, "But first, I'd have to take another look at that document."

"Fine." I frowned at the petulance in my own voice, but Julian didn't notice. Nimble fingers unfolded the paper, spreading it flat across the table. Once exposed, his smile vanished, replaced by a look of intense concentration.

"All right, let's see." He hummed, holding down the curled edges, "Oof. This light is not for reading. Well, it's a letter, but you knew that. Dear so and so…" _He hadn't realized it, yet._ "Dear sister." My lips twitched in guilty amusement at his mortified expression.

His exposed eye flickered up to me, round in surprise. _Got you._

"You- you can read this?" _Not really, but he didn't need to know that._ I shrugged noncommittally, taking childish pleasure in the shock on his face.

 _He would probably be upset that -_ "Incredible." He breathed, studying me intently. _Wait, what?_

"A cryptographer told me once that it would take years of study and look at you." He waved a hand in my direction, his grin returned, "A natural!" I swallowed, resisting the urge to shift under his unabashed praise. _One second he's serious, the next..._ I genuinely didn't know what to make of the doctor.

Dropping his eye to the paper, he scanned the letter, muttering, "Dear… dear sister, I have… much to share since last I wrote. Winter has come to the palace… these marble floors are so cold… each morning…"

_The palace? His sister worked at the palace._

It felt as if the answer was on the tip on my tongue.

 _Had I seen his sister in the palace? There were so many workers, it seemed unlikely_.

The more he read, the more he paused to massage his temples, or to pinch the bridge of his nose. Julian's voice eventually tapered to a mumble, falling quiet. Somewhere across the tavern, glass shattered. Two shorter men began fighting, tumbling to the ground in a blur of fists and teeth. _Ouch._

By the time I glanced back at the doctor, the letter was rolled up, bumping against my fingers from when he pushed it in my direction. _He looked wistful, drained._ I watched Julian grab the stein, tossing back what little remained.

"So," I began, hoping to keep my expression neutral. The glass thudded against the table as he wiped a hand across his face. "You have a sister." I plainly stated, eyes on the doctor.

He coughed, spluttering at the blunt observation. _Served him right, assuming I had run away._ Something twisted in my gut. _He wasn't off the mark, but still..._ My pride stung from my failure to find the deer guard. _I had until dawn. I had time._ The thought wasn't exactly reassuring.

"I do," He reluctantly sighed, fingers tapping a quick pattern against the table. He held his other hand by his waist, just out of sight, "Haven't seen her since she was ohh… this high." _Long time, then._ "You'd better put that back." He gestured towards the letter, "Trust me, they'll notice that it's gone."

There was a bitterness to his tone that I recognized. _That I had felt, on more than one occasion._

This realization unnerved me more than anything else that evening.

The letter felt heavier in my hands as I stowed it into the bag, as if the page itself took on the weight of his ominous words. "Excuse me." Clearing his throat, he gracefully rose from the table. _I was definitely more curious now._

_Who was his sister? Did the Countess know? Surely she would've mentioned it by now._

I thought of the various "tests" she had given me, then reconsidered. _Maybe not._

Huffing, I followed Julian's auburn hair dart through the crowd. _Why was everyone so frustratingly vague?_

One of Asra's previous comments echoed in my mind. _Everyone has their own secrets. Not all are meant to be shared, to be heard._

I winced as a mixture of cheers and boos exploded to my right, from the table with the older women. People seemed to be debating a move, jabbing fingers at the loaded table. With two drinks in hand, Julian was stopped by one of the elderly women, wrist snatched mid-step.

After a moment's deliberation, he leaned in, whispering something in her ear and waving towards one of the cards in her hand. The card was then played, throwing the crowd into further chaos. Julian ducked away just as someone doused him with their drink. Wiping the liquid from his face, Julian looked far too pleased by the time he returned to his seat. "You would think I'd know better than to get involved with politics." He chuckled, sliding one of the glasses towards me.

This time, I didn't hesitate, lifting the sweet drink to my lips. After setting down the flagon, I nodded towards the other table, "Looks like you're not worried about being seen."

_I was getting bolder and bolder...was it from the drinks?_

"Here?" The doctor shook his head, damp curls falling over his eyepatch. "Noooo, I'm not worried. Folks around here aren't known to, uh, oblige the wants and wishes of the palace." I took another sip, savoring the fruity flavor. Julian shrugged, following suit, "Even the raven spends his time scouting for guards. Obsessively. Matter of fact, where is he?" His body twisted in the booth, searching for the spindly bird.

 _Strange._ I thought of Asra's shop and the surrounding neighborhood.

_There, the palace guards were treated with reverence. And fear, in no small measure. They ate as they liked in the market, with no expectation of payment…wait a minute._

My eyes narrowed, focusing on the doctor, "The guards come here often?" Still searching the smoky rafters, Julian absent-minedly replied, "Only every night or so."

_Every night._

Nausea returned full-force, and I pushed the drink away.

"Oh no, no it's fine, we'll know if they're coming." He grimaced, stopping himself before he patted my shoulder. His leathery hand hovered in the air, then fell to his side. _Odd._

His comforting words fell short as well, his gaze returned to mine, "Like I said, there's always the rave-" _Caw!_ Suddenly, said raven burst through a dusty window overhead, flying in loops with a guttural shriek.

 _Speaking of the devil..._ Julian rose to his feet, "Oh, for crying ou-" The bird beat itself against a string of bells...and the tavern turned into a mad frenzy.

"Guards!" I could scarcely hear the barkeep over the screams and shouts, "Palace guards!"

Patrons practically clawed their way out of every door and window, playing cards tossed and fluttering in the air. I gripped the table's edge, scooting further into the booth as Julian swiftly leaned over me, one hand slipping under the crook of my knees. He pulled me to the edge of the seat, expression intense and unsmiling.

"What're you doing?" I protested, shocked by the uncharacteristic advance.

 _Now was hardly the -_ I audibly yelped as Julian, in one, fluid move, scooped me from the booth, bridal style.

Without pause, we rushed out the back door into the alley, narrowly avoiding the elderly women from before. "Hey!" My cry was lost in the cacophony, and Julian gave me a brief, apologetic glance.

Outside, my face was hot in the cool night air, head spinning.

_Maybe I shouldn't have had that second drink._

He cast a frantic glance up and down the alley before moving into the shadows. Lowering me carefully to my feet - _I hadn't noticed I'd been trembling until his steady hands were around my waist_ \- the doctor whispered in a low, fast voice, "Go back up that road, take a left, a right, a sharp right and you'll reach a round street. It's long, but it's a straight shot and it'll take you as far as the marketplace. From there… You'll be able to find your way, yes?"

Mind whirling, I forced myself to nod. _I could find my way back. But..._ Almost gently, he led me through the alley, the sounds of clashing metal and screaming fading as we raced in the dark.

"Up the road, left, right, sharp right. Round street." He whispered intently, grip loosening. I barely was able to see the glimmer of his singular grey eye in the moonlight, the faint quirk of his lips, "Good luck, Cassandra."

Without preamble, I was released onto the road.

Around me, oil-slick rats disappeared into nearby gutters, and the shutters were all tightly shut. My eyes darted towards the alley, but Julian was already gone. _Typical_.

In what felt like the blink of an eye, the street had fallen as silent as the grave. I took a moment to breathe in the fresh, cool air. _What a night._ With one last glance at the abandoned alley, I started up the empty road. _Left...then right._

Spectral alley cats scattered to the shadows as I whipped past, strands of hair blowing in my face. The stone path was broken and winding, growing progressively narrow until I reached a sharp right turn. _This must be the one._ After a quick glance, I allowed myself to pause, breathing heavily.

My feet ached with a vengeance, and my knees were warm in the spots where he had picked me up. At the memory, I felt my face warm again. _What a strange man._ My stomach flipped at the reminder of who he was.

_At who the Countess, and all of Versuvia, believed him to be._

_A murderer._

I studied my hands in the moonlight.

_And I hadn't once considered trying to catch him, or bring him to justice...whatever that meant._

When I began to run again, something was waiting; helpless to stop myself mid-step, I collapsed in an ungainly pile of limbs with a stranger, groaning in pain. _Definitely going to have bruises, tomorrow._

My eyes widened at the spotted brown-and-white costume beneath my hands. Untangling myself from the stranger, my mouth dropped open.

_I didn't believe it. No way._

Judging by the look on their face, they hadn't expected to run into me, either. _Literally._

In front of me sat the stunned deer guard, mouth agape. _I had...found him?_


	12. Book 5: The Emperor (Night) contd.

"H-How?" The deer guard croaked, rubbing his side. "Are you alright, sir?" In lieu of an answer, I held out my hand. _How_ _did he find me? Or was it I who found him?_ The guard nodded, looking just as confused and exhausted. _If not more so._ After a brief struggle, I helped the man to his feet, arms shaking with the effort.

 _Remember,_ Asra's words rang in my ears, _there are no true coincidences. Only messages yet to be deciphered._

Across the street, a carriage I hadn't noticed before shuddered. _A carriage?_ The door swung open, revealing…

"Portia?" I blinked at yet another surprise. _The night was full of them._

"Oh my gods," She jolted at the sight of us in the darkened street, blue eyes round like saucers, "Cassandra?"

"What?" A muffled, familiar voice came from inside the carriage, "What was that sound?" The Countess's face poked out from the door, ruby eyes locking onto my crumpled figure. _The clothes..._ Suddenly aware of the tumultuous turn of events - including the topiary maze and an accidental barrel dive - I fruitlessly attempted to smooth out the green silk.

"Cassandra," Nadia openly stared, taken aback by my presence. _Or state of disarray._ "Where on earth did you come from?" _What was the Countess doing here?_ Instead of a proper response, I debated if the world should be tilting in such a manner.

_Shouldn't have had those two drinks._

Mercifully, Portia answered for me, waving towards the street behind us, "That way."

"Uncanny," Nadia breathed, a smile spreading across her lips, "why, we only just arrived. I agonized over choosing the right spot to hide. And we had finally, finally settled on this one…"

Her eyes drifted to the tired guard behind me, something flickering in her expression. "Ludo, well done. Take the reins. We will return early." The deer guard, Ludo, shuffled reluctantly to the front of the vehicle, eyeing me in wonder. I shifted uncomfortably under the appraising trio's gaze before Portia gently took my hand, herding me into the carriage.

Portia gave me a quick wink before shutting the door, presumably joining Ludo in the front.

Inside, the Countess studied me in obvious delight. _I still couldn't believe it, myself._

"It is extraordinarily rare," Nadia's lips were pulled into a glowing smile, "that anyone should exceed my expectations." I tensed when the elegant woman took one of my hands in both of hers.

It was an unsettling comparison; my hand was paler and speckled with dirt, mud caked underneath the short nails. Her tanned fingers and long, ruby talons brushed against my skin, her palms impossibly soft and free of calluses.

"Cassandra, I apologize for what must have been a most tedious trial to a magician of your prowess." In my dazed state, I had little clue about how I found the correct guard.

_Or the wanted murderer...twice._

Magic prickled beneath my skin where our hands met. _It felt as though even the arcana were making a sport of me._

In my exhaustion, I wondered if everyone was simply using me; Nadia for my help finding Julian, Portia's dedication to the Countess and personal curiosity, Asra's loyalty to my training, and... _What was Julian's motivation? Hopes of charming me enough to not turn him in? No, he had dismissed the idea at the Tavern._ A twist of unexpected guilt twinged in my gut.

If I was honest with myself, there was a part of me that doubted the man was actually responsible for the accused crime.

The Countess let go of my hand, extracting a silken pouch from her waist. Immediately, my magic and the deck inside the satchel reacted; my pulse accelerated as I freed The Emperor from it's elegant prison.

 _Thank the stars._ A massive weight I hadn't been aware of vanished, and my shoulders slumped in fatigued relief.

"Ah, that eager face will be my undoing. And yours as well, if you do not learn to master it." Nadia chuckled.

As I returned the card to its rightful place, the Countess commented, "I can only wonder...if you are the apprentice, how proud the master must be." _What would I tell Asra?_ My master had completely slipped my mind, too distracted by charismatic murderers and getting lost in the backstreets.

"Regardless, it will be some time before we arrive." Nadia's voice drew me out of my thoughts.

As if reminded of my exhaustion, I covered my mouth, jaw aching as I attempted to suppress the sudden yawn. The Countess smiled fondly, "A feast awaits you. And a bath, if you will agree to it." I nodded absently. The carriage rocked gently, lulling me further into the enticing temptation. My eyelids felt heavier than before, and I struggled to keep them open. "Take this time to unwind." Given permission, I leaned my head against the window, proprietary forgotten.

With a murmured 'thank you', I sank into blissful ignorance.

...

I was barely awake by the time we reached the bathhouse. I couldn't even muster the energy to protest as unknown servants quickly stripped and ushered me into a large marble tub.

With a loud sigh, I sunk happily into the perfumed water, letting the day's tension and filth melt away. My amethyst hair floated around my head and shoulders. After one last glance towards the carefully placed satchel - and the deck inside - I closed my eyes once more.

_This was heavenly._

Time passed without my knowledge, drifting through the rivulets of steam around me.

My mind remained wonderfully blank, simply relishing in the heat...until I heard someone laugh. Water splashed around my sides as I slowly turned my head, revealing a delighted Portia in the doorway.

A glittering bundle rested in her arms, shimmering hues of burnt sienna and a rich tyrian purple. "Milady is waiting for you in the dining room. She'd like you to wear these." She set down the outfit on a nearby bench.

"Thank you," I managed, returning the smile with little effort. "Of course," Portia nodded, leaving without another word.

Reluctantly, I left the tub, padding across the luxurious bathroom. I found amusement in the small river left in my wake, water dripping over my cheekbones and down my limbs.

Pressing two fingers gingerly to my torso, I watched the purple spot darkened under the pressure. _I knew it._

In my relaxed state, I found it difficult to care about who would be left to clean up the mess or how many bruises littered my skin.

 _Time to return to reality._ Heavier than the previous outfit, the new ensemble was woven in a delicate combination of silk and some other, expensive fabric. _Perfect for the balmy night air._ I took a moment to check my appearance, piling my waist-length, damp hair into a quick bun.

Portia was waiting in the hall, fingers tapping a jaunty rhythm against the wall.

"Soooo," She grinned, nodding in approval at the clothes, "You took quite a little trip into town today, huh? Meet up with anybody special?"

I studied the red-haired woman, wondering if she was thinking of anyone in particular. _Did she somehow know?_ Again, that feeling of forgetting something important, something in front of me, lingered in the back of my mind.

 _Did she know who -_ Portia laughed, "Kidding, Cassandra."

_Maybe not._

"I knew that." I protested weakly, mildly embarrassed.

She snorted disbelievingly, placing a hand on my back to lead me towards the dining hall.

Faint echoes of music grew louder as we briskly walked, and my stomach joined eagerly, setting off another round of laughter from the kindly woman beside me. My own lips lifted in similar amusement as the grand doors swung open, spilling light and sound into the hallway.

Instantly, my senses were overwhelmed.

An expansive feat was piled high upon the large table, freshly filled cups glittering under the chandeliers. The quartet from the previous meal had returned, playing a pleasant, vaguely familiar melody. Sumptuous scents filled the air, only serving to further remind me of my hunger. _When was the last time I ate?_ I thought of the Rowdy Raven. _Not there._ As Portia guided me to a seat beside the Countess, I recognized the hints of saffron in the air. _True Vesuvian meal, tonight. Still extravagant, but that was to be expected._

"Why, if it isn't my champion of the hour, fresh from the bath." Nadia smiled at Portia before turning to me, "Hello, Cassandra."

"Nadia." I shyly returned the greeting, making room for an older servant to fill my glass with a pale rose beverage. The Countess lifted her own, full glass into the air.

"To Cassandra," Her voice rang throughout the massive room, "whose talents have exceeded my highest expectations. Let us be strangers no longer. May this be the beginning of a valuable friendship." Her ruby eyes met mine, "I look forward to a long and fruitful partnership with you. I'm sure you will not disappoint." Reminded of the task before me, I tried to appear equally excited.

_Remember, Cassandra._

The drink before me was delicate and floral. _Like the Countess's perfume._ Silently, I compared the bubbly liquid to the fruity beverage from the tavern.

_A vastly different atmosphere, practically another world compared to...this._

"Ah, lest we forget," Nadia set her glass down with a _thud,_ turning towards someone over my shoulder, "Ludo. Randolph." _The guards?_

The pair, freshly bathed and freed from their animal costumes, shifted nervously by the kitchen doors.

"For being such admirable sports, I would forgive their trespasses. But the slight was against you, Cassandra." Her eyes shone with interest, "Shall we invite them to join us at the table tonight, or shall I send them away?" _Another test? It was hard to tell._

No longer thirsty, I set down my glass, meeting the men's anxious stares. "They can stay." I tried smiling, but the guards only exchanged a confused look, frozen in place. _Had I said the wrong thing?_

Neither dared to move until the Countess cleared her throat delicately; the men promptly clambered to the furthest seats at the end of the table, pale and tense. Nadia's lips twitched up slightly whilst she observed the pair, "They have worked hard today, haven't they?"

With a hint of pride in her voice, Nadia lifted her spoon, "You have a generous spirit, Cassandra. A rarity in this town." I shook my head, unwilling to accept any additional, undeserved praise, "I did what was right."

_It was more out of pity than anything else. Their punishment felt harsher than necessary...not that I would say as such._

Somehow, my response delighted her further. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat until the Countess spoke again, "Tomorrow, we shall dine together with my courtiers. They are most eager to make your acquaintance." _Oh._

The freshly consumed lamb flipped in my stomach.

At my expression, she chuckled, "I have no doubt they will find you absolutely charming. They will want to know everything about you. But choose wisely what you wish to tell." It was an understatement to sat that I was hardly prepared to meet anyone from the palace.

I had already offended the Countess, at least once.. _.if not more._

I took another bite to distract myself, savoring the rich, Vesuvian spices.

"I will be informing them of the Masquerade as well. I imagine they will be ecstatic." Nadia added, smiling dryly.

_The ways of the court were foreign to me, just as much as the backstreets of Versuvia. Was there no place I belonged?_

I suddenly ached for the slow, easy days at the shop, when Asra and I would clean and dance and - "Portia and a retinue of our loudest servants will be going to town tomorrow to make the announcement." The next course was brought out, replacing the spiced meat with savory pastries. "Once the townspeople hear, word will spread on its own. And then it shall be out of our hands. We must ensure there is a sufficient audience for our final spectacle. This is of utmost importance."

_Gossip was certainly an effective tool, if used properly._

Nadia's crimson gaze narrowed, as if peering into an unfavorable horizon. "When the doctor hangs, he will hang for all who wish to see."

I swallowed, a shiver running up my spine at the mental image of the auburn-haired doctor dangling from the gallows.

Carefully, I lowered my gaze to hide the unease, picking at the edges of my plate. _There went my appetite._

"But," Nadia sighed, "those are tomorrow's matters. Tonight, Cassandra, I have questions."

My mouth dried instantly, butterflies returning with a vengeance. "Questions?" I echoed. _About what?_

"Yes," Her lips curled upwards, "I wish to become familiar with you. We will be working very closely, after all."

For some reason, her answer didn't provide any relief.

The metal edges of the fork bit into my tightened grip, and I placed it down beside the gold-rimmed plate. "Of course, Nadia." I swallowed, lifting my chin to meet her expectant smile, "What would you like to know?"

The remainder of the meal was filled with back-and-forth questions; how I enjoyed the town, my daily activities, my favorite thing to eat. It was strange to realize just how...empty, my life felt without Asra or Inas.

_I've been relying on them for far too long, and far too much._

The arcana seemed to whisper something unintelligible from my bag, but I refused to listen. _Not now._

In the hopes of directing the attention away from myself, I asked the Countess about her life. "Have you ever had spiced swordfish? It's quite delicious." She sounded nostalgic, watching a servant fill her cup with the rosy liquid.

"I don't believe so." I responded, taking a bite of the next course, a mysteriously sweet dish that I suspected was the evening's dessert.

"In Prakra, it is a summer meal. I would hardly suffer a warm night without it." Her smile faded slightly, "The kitchen does try to humor my requests, but alas, they can never seem to spice it quite right." I recalled what little description of Prakra was available in the books from the shop, depicting the aptly-named Pearl Isles as an endless series of idyllic white sand and opalescent waters.

" I am quite enjoying our talk, Cassandra, but I admit I do not savor the audience." Nadia smiled, eyes drifting towards the pair at the opposite end.

Ludo and Randolph were conversing quietly, occasionally sending curious glances in our direction. Meeting Ludo's gaze, I quickly returned my attention to the Countess.

_He acted as if I had performed a miracle by finding him in the streets of Versuvia._

The sudden onslaught of admiration from Nadia and Ludo was simultaneously flattering and unnerving.

The Countess rose slowly, "I wonder if you would like to join me on the veranda for a nightcap?" With her hand extended towards me, the jewels on her fingers sparkling under the chandelier.

"Just the two of us."

Her voice was low, almost sultry, making heat rise to my face and ears.

In the back of my mind, I realized that every pair of eyes in the dining room was on us.

_My decision was easily made..._

Even freshly bathed, my hand was still pale in hers. Pleased, Nadia led me out of the room, towards the veranda.

We were greeted by a cool night breeze, gentle against my warmed cheeks.

Above, the sky glittered with stars, stretching across the visible horizon. Glancing around, I realized that Portia nor the other servants followed. _She had said the two of us..._

In silent obedience, I settled gingerly into the plush seat to her right, nearly sinking into the feathersoft material. I was taken aback when the Countess leaned forwards, plucking a crystal decanter from the small table in front of us to pour two glasses.

"Elderflower cordial." She smiled, "One of my favorites."

Out here, the pearls and emeralds twinkled like small stars along her neck and forehead. Even the beautifully patterned silk around her shoulders seemed to shimmer in the subtle light.

"Thank you," I murmured, strangely overwhelmed by the scene.

_Everyone around me was so...lively, vibrant. Asra, Julian, Nadia. Even Portia had this...this warmth._

I studied the glass in my lap, suddenly feeling quite plain.

"You are…" There was an unfamiliar edge to Nadia's voice when she spoke again, "quite different from how I imagined you."

 _She imagined me?_ Knowing that's likely not how she meant the statement, I wrestled the rise of certain emotions.

She sighed, watching the liquid ripple in her glass, "I will admit, I find your presence quite intriguing."

I resisted the urge to rub at my eyes, wondering if the darkened flush on her cheeks was simply a result of the wine. Studying Nadia, I remained silent, hoping she would continue.

_She intrigued me, as well._

In town, whispers spoke of the Countess... _a tyrant_ , they claimed. _Cold and critical of magic._

However, the woman before me was anything but.

_Yes, she was deliberate with her words and actions, cautious and stern. I could've certainly done without the unspoken tests and little games, but...she had also shown kindness and sympathy._

At that moment, under the open expanse of starlight, I could've described her as... _lonely_.

"Tell me, Cassandra," Lifting her gaze to mine, Nadia appeared to pull herself out of thought, "Why did you come to the palace? Why did you agree to help me? Know that you are free to speak in my presence."

I bit my lip, watching the curiosity cross her delicate features. _Why was I still here?_ I thought of the past few days, filled with unusual encounters and familiar mysteries.

_Deals made, wine yet to be spilled. So many secrets..._

"You did ask for my help, Countess." I found myself saying, eyes widening at the bold remark. Flushing, I corrected, "Nadia."

Her eyes bore into mine, clearly unsatisfied with my evasive answer. "Yes I did," She lowered the glass onto the table, "But you could've refused me easily." _I almost had, too. Why hadn't I said no?_ Imposing as the woman was, I knew she had given me a choice.

_Even if it hadn't felt like one at the time._

Wordlessly, Nadia arched an eyebrow in my direction. _Waiting._ "It felt right," I wasn't sure who I was addressing, the Countess or my own musings.

_I had followed my magic, my mentor, my memories...wherever they led. It was all I had._

"It felt right?" Sighing, Nadia turned her gaze to the garden, "I see. So you were following your intuition...how nostalgic." My brow furrowed. _Nostalgic? What an odd choice of words._ Her bejeweled hand rose to cup the emerald at her throat, "The heart can be quite a valuable tool, provided one listens to it."

The Countess's honesty, combined with the open night sky and absence of my usual worries, provoked me to comment, "I'm curious, as well." I smiled sheepishly, admitting, "There's so much I don't know."

Uncomfortably vulnerable at the confession, I abruptly wished for the plush seat to swallow me whole.

_It felt so obvious, and yet the faith Nadia had in my abilities..._

She tilted her head towards me, long tendrils of dark hair falling into her face.

_The more I knew, the less I understood._

_Why was Asra so closed off about my past?_

_What happened to cause him such agony?_ _Did he truly believe that I wouldn't notice the sadness etched into his face every time I couldn't recall something?_

_Why couldn't I remember years of my life without buckling in pain?_

_How did I keep running into Julian, and why wasn't I scared of him anymore? Who was his sister?_ _Did it matter?_

_Was...was he Count Lucio's murderer?_

_Why had Portia reacted so strangely to his proposed capture?_

_And Nadia, the Countess of all of Vesuvia..._

"Have you satisfied your curiosity?"

"No." This answer came easily, without thinking.

Instead of being displeased, the Countess's smile bloomed, "It is refreshing to sit with like-minded individuals. There are so many questions in this world…"

I was, once more, pinned beneath her imperious gaze.

"Maybe we can find the answers together."

Crickets chirped from the garden, the bustle of life in the castle faint, distant.

"Maybe." I shrugged, unwilling to completely admit to the comfort drawn from her words.

_Nadia acted like she knew what she was doing, but perhaps that's the part she had to play. For the people. For Versuvia._

After a moment, Nadia removed her hand, leaning back in her seat, "Do you have any further questions, Cassandra?" Her eyes sparkled with amusement, "For me, that is."

Although we had spoken about our day-to-day lives during the meal, this felt different. _Loaded._ I took another sip of the cordial, savoring the faint tartness that lingered in the back of my throat.

_Of course I had questions for her. Enough that, if I asked them all, we would never leave this veranda._

The notion wasn't completely terrible, though I doubted the Countess had such time to spare.

"Why are you doing this?"

I hoped the question wouldn't be interpreted as an accusation.

The Countess was mildly annoyed, frowning, "What a vague question. What, exactly," I swallowed at the shift in her tone, "do you mean by that?"

_Maybe it had._

"Well," I fiddled with the silk skirt in my lap, "the murder investigation." I reluctantly raised my eyes, "The Count has been dead for years, so why now?"

She sighed again, nodding, "Ah, I see. You're quite right to ask." _I'm glad she agreed._ I bit my lip, watching various emotions flash across her face.

_Talking to the Countess was like playing chess._

_Each word, or silence, was a choice. A move in the game._

_And yet, she sounded so genuine._

"Versuvia is in dire need of help." I thought of the marketplace, the skinny children hiding in shadow corners and darting through the crowds. Many were without a home, and the merchants often chose to either ignore or belittle them.

Nasir would give them food, but only in exchange for help carrying the bags of flour and grain. Inas opened her home to the younger ones, though some were too suspicious to accept the offer. _Jaded._ Even then, the brunette was only able to do so because she lived alone. _Any company was welcome._

"Order needs to be restored, and I am in the unique position to restore it." Nadia eyed the stars above our heads, "However, I intend to lead by example, not fear."

 _Folks around here aren't known to oblige the wants and wishes of the palace._ Julian's response returned to me, the memory of the chaos following the palace guard's arrival. _We were nearly trampled, if Julian hadn't..._ I picked up the glass, taking a sip to hide my reaction.

"I must show the city I am capable." Nadia's voice had taken on a note of longing, "I have so many plans for Versuvia. I want to see this city flourish…" Her brow smooth, lips curving upwards whilst she regarded me, "Perhaps you'll be able to assist me with these plans, Cassandra."

Nadia chuckled, bitterly amused, "I could use more competent people on my side." The lonely colors in her aura returned, deep streaks of violet marring the crimson.

I listened to the distant chatter of servants, wondering how someone could be alone in a castle full of people, ready and willing to fulfill your every wish... _Did she truly have no one to rely on? Or did it merely feel that way?_

It was an uncomfortably familiar emotion.

_Empty shop, empty streets..._

My footsteps echoed in the hall as I returned to the assigned bedroom.

I listened to Portia chattering about the castle's latest gossip, thinking back to my conversation with the Countess. Nadia appeared to have been equally finished with confessions, ringing a swan-like bell to summon Portia. Even with the weight of her loneliness and confusion, Nadia had waved, her smile not quite reaching those luminous eyes.

On the other hand, Portia's brightness was comforting, lifting the weight of the night's emotions from my shoulders.

"Things are a lot more interesting around here since you showed up." Portia grinned, "Did you see Randolph's and Ludovico's faces when they were summoned to dinner? Oh my god, I thought Ludo would die on the spot. He's always had a nervous constitution." Her shoulders shook with restrained laughter, eliciting a smile from my lips.

_Her aura was warm and infectious, like sunshine._

I studied the constellation of freckles across her face and shoulders, disappearing into the white cloth of her shirt. Her hair - just as vibrant as her personality - curled down her back in an attempt to escape it's confines. As she spoke, I noticed her subtle greetings towards the other servants, addressing each by name. _How well did she know everyone here?_

I allowed my curiosity to get the better of me. While she paused to take a breath, I asked, "Did you spend a lot of time with the other servants?"

She shrugged modestly, "We work together pretty closely. It's my job to know who and what's happening in the palace." Winking conspiratorially at me, Portia bounced around the next corner.

"Here we are!" She grinned. As always, I paused by the bedroom door, amazed.

_I would never get used to this._

A fresh pitched of water sat on the desk, incense burning by the window and filling the room with hazy swirls of wood and spice. Large swathes of silk hung from the ceiling, concealing the bed in rich hues of red and orange. When my gaze returned to Portia, I almost laughed, covering my smile.

With those wide, puppy-dog eyes, Portia was clearly dying to ask me a question.

Her freckled cheeks turned pink, and she turned to smooth the papers on the desk. _The ones from Julian's study. I had been meaning to return them to the library._

"Portia," I moved to stand beside her, "What happens after I capture the doctor? Will there be a trial?"

It was a question I'd been too cowardly to ask Nadia, but perhaps her favorite servant would know.

"No," Portia kept her eyes on the papers, "Milady is certain of his guilt. The execution will continue as scheduled." I watched her shoulders droop slightly, lips pressed together.

"You look worried." I commented, leaning against the desk's edge so I could meet her eyes.

"Worried? Me?" She tensed and relaxed in the span of a second, blue eyes rising to meet green, "Maybe, it's just…" Portia sighed, something akin to sadness diluting her response, "I don't know, he's not the only suspect, right? Sure, many people loved the Count, but…" With a glance towards the door, Portia hesitated, "Just between you and me… I think Count Lucio had a lot of enemies, too."

Given the stories about the man - _and the creepy experience in his bedroom_ \- I wasn't surprised.

"Who?" I pried, but Portia only shook her head, "I wasn't employed at the palace when it happened. I've only heard rumors of what went on that night."

Her expression closed, a mask of resignation, "Just…keep your eyes peeled for anything suspicious, alright?"

"Alright. Thank you, Portia." With countless other questions on the tip of my tongue, I simply nodded, frustration simmering in my veins.

_It wasn't her fault._

Still, even as I fell asleep, I couldn't help but wonder what Portia was hiding. _Everybody had their secrets..._


	13. Book 6: The Hierophant

We reached our destination as the sun rose over the horizon.

Pale streams of light brushed the cobblestone street, the marketplace slowly rising from its slumber.

"All right everybody, listen up!" To my right, Portia was clearly comfortable in her position of power, clapping her hands together loudly. Everybody in the square fell silent, workers adjusting their baskets. Curious merchants and farmers lingered at the edges, eyeing the clean lines of the palace uniforms and silken wares.

I felt briefly claustrophobic as the crowd congregated around Portia, and inadvertently, myself.

"At noon," Her voice rang over the rattle of wheels and shifting of cloth, "we'll be making the announcement at city square. Till then, you all know your errands. Talk to me if you don't." Everyone nodded, expressions ranging from determination to half-asleep. I chuckled as one of the younger girls elbowed a yawning blonde to her left, nearly knocking him over in the process. As the crowd dispersed, Portia put her a hand on her hip and turned to me.

"As for you, Cassandra," Her lips quirked, "I thought you might like to check on your shop."

I was taken aback by the intensity of my relief. "Please," I breathed, smiling. _Home._

She chuckled at my reaction, patting my shoulder, "I'll try to find you, but if I don't, try to be at the square by noon." With a gentle nudge, the ginger turned to help the tired boy with his basket, "See you then!"

With quick steps, I relished in the familiar path to the shop, weaving through the blend of merchants and servants, farmers and homeless. As I passed, I noted Inas's absence, the closed doors and boarded windows of her booth. _Perhaps she had gone to visit her parents in Nevivon._

After greeting Nasir - no offers of freshly made bread, this time - I eagerly exchanged the busy scene for somewhere more comfortable, quiet.

_The shop. My oasis in a sea of uncertainty._

The shop's windows reflected the dawn's light, practically glowing in shades of amber and gold. Hopping up the step, I pressed my palm to the door, releasing the protective spells. In my haste, the keys slipped from my fingers, dropping to my feet with a clatter.

It wasn't until I retrieved them that I spotted the small pouch tucked into the corner of the door.

_Someone left this...for Asra?_

_For me?_

Curious, my fingers untied the knot, releasing a fragrant scent. Inside, there seemed a mixture of magic and herbs, resin and incense. Lifting the pouch to my nose, I inhaled deeply, eyes closed.

 _Myrrh, sage, and a hint of marrow root_... _Ingredients for protection._

Frowning, I searched for any sign of the person responsible for the ominous gift. _No such luck._

A subtle noise made me tense, rising slowly from my position on the ground. _It came from inside. But how? The spell had been intact, the door locked._

Heart racing, I gathered magic in my free palm, adrenaline following its path through my veins. After releasing a slow breath, I turned the final lock….and nudged the door aside.

The towering intruder was less than a foot away, close enough to bump into. _Wait...was that…?_ The pouch fell from my hand, landing with a muted _thud_.

"You!" The accusation escaped my lips as I stepped forwards, promptly closing the door behind me.

The defensive spell dissolved in my hand, rendered useless.

"Ah, fancy seeing you here, Cassandra." Dr. Julian Devorak ran a hand through his curls, auburn strands falling into his face.

Grey eye wide, he obviously hadn't expected anyone to be here. "Fancy that." I muttered dryly.

The doctor fidgeted under the dubious stare, "I, ah, I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd check if you'd gotten home alright. And here you are, getting home all right. Marvelous, I'll stop wringing my hands." Julian shoved his gloved hands to his sides, almost comically stiff. "Right," I eyed him, torn between amusement and exasperation at the transparent lie.

I momentarily wondered if I should call the guards, but something stopped me. _This was the second time he had broken into the shop._

"How do you keep getting in?" I crossed my arms, lifting my chin to meet his nervous gaze, "I know I locked up after the first time. So you've either broken in, or…" "Or I've got a key?" Julian grinned, finishing my sentence.

The doctor bent down, scooping up the pouch and holding it out like an offering. His grin faltered when I didn't move.

 _So it wasn't him who left it. He clearly didn't recognize it..._ Sighing, he reached into his coat, pulling out a little key. "Here." He handed both items to me, "If it makes any difference, you can take it. I won't be using it again. That's… that's a promise."

I held up my copy, frowning. _Identical to the backroom key. That's how he kept slipping in unnoticed._

"Who gave this to you?" I demanded, dropping the pouch and keys into my satchel.

"You don't…?" His eye widened dramatically, "ah, well...Let's just say I needed to make a couple house calls."

He paused, then added, "After hours." I felt my eyebrows raise at this.

 _House calls to Asra's room? When had he ever been that ill?_ A shiver ran up my spine, thinking of the stories of the Red Plague. _Had he…?_

Another thought dismissed the growing concern. _If Asra had been, would he have ever told me?_

Julian must've misinterpreted my muted frustration, for he held his hands in the air, "Oh, I hope you don't think I'm a thief. I'm a lot of things, but not that." My eyes narrowed as a smirk played on his lips. "But you wouldn't take my word for it, would you?"

"Maybe," I replied shortly, "Maybe not." To my surprise, the doctor shrugged off his overcoat and began unbuttoning his waistcoat. "J-Julian, what -" Throwing it open with a flutter, he held out his arms, palms facing the ceiling.

"Search me," Julian declared, grinning.

I spluttered, face heating at the sight.

His torso was poorly covered by a loose white shirt, upper chest exposed by the v-shaped opening in the fabric.

"If you find anything of yours, I'll show myself to the stocks." His grey eye met green, "Go ahead. Search until you're satisfied."

_How did he jump from nervous to confident within such a short period of time?_

_How would this help? He already gave me the key._

"Well?" Julian purred, clearly satisfied with my reaction.

_He was so sure I wouldn't do it..._

_Well, in that case._

I subtly tried to calm my erratic heartbeat, lifting my chin to keep my gaze steady, "I think I will."

From the stunned look on his face, he hadn't expected me to accept.

_Worth the embarrassment._

I fought to keep my face neutral, crossing my arms to hide the unease from his probing look. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Julian breathed, grey eye staring right through me.

Once he recovered, Julian gestured towards his exposed chest. "Don't be shy, I promise to be good." His grin was back. _As was my blush._

I swallowed, suddenly aware of the task I had agreed to. _I had to..._ Cautiously, I stepped closer, the fluttering in my stomach returned.

My eyes drifted to his torso, where pale skin peeked through the white fabric.

 _Oh my stars, what had I done?_ "Fine. I'm going to search you." I tried to sound factual, unaffected...and failed.

_Was I really going to "check"? We both knew that he hadn't stolen anything._

_And yet, my stubbornness wouldn't allow me to back down._

Julian chucked, a melodic sound that served to stir the butterflies into a swarm. "Ready whenever you are, little bird." I scrunched up my nose at the nickname, wondering if I should feel insulted.

Without dignifying the comment with a response, I closed the distance between us.

Reluctantly, I placed my hand on his left arm; his skin was cool, even through the thin material. _Safe place to start._

The shirt was coarser than I anticipated. _Had I already gotten used to the soft fabrics of the palace?_ The leather gloves creaked as he flexed, lean muscles jumping under my touch.

"You have such lovely hands." Laughing, his voice brushing against the shell of my right ear, "You can squeeze a little harder, you know. I don't mind."

It took everything in me to _not_ react to the brazen comment - clearly goading me into stepping back, giving up - and instead focused on the underlying challenge.

Julian paused when I squeezed his forearm, the muscle tensing beneath my fingertips. I avoided looking at his face as I moved to the other arm, wondering how I got myself into these...unusual situations.

"Come to think of it," He drawled slowly, relishing the wary flush on my face. _What now?_ "I haven't seen you up close in broad daylight before." I thought of the previous encounters, both in partial darkness. Here, the sunlight filled the space with a warm glow and soft shadows.

"As I you." I murmured softly.

Julian's free arm reached towards me, attempting to close the last inch between us. _To do what, I wasn't sure._

I instantly smacked his hand, then froze.

 _Whoops. I didn't mean to -_ My eyes searched his face for any sign of anger or dismissal, but there was none.

In fact, the doctor bit his lip, dropping his arm obediently to his side.

_Oh._

_Odd._

The most unnerving aspect, I discovered, was how much I enjoyed this.

_Not groping the doctor, necessarily, but the rare sense of power...of control in a situation._

Judging by his expression, it appeared that Julian was just as happy to relinquish such control. _Whatever form that may take._

_Interesting, especially for someone so...exuberant._

Given the light, and our proximity, I was surprised to find that even his eyelashes were a dark red, elegantly framing the stormy grey beneath it. His eye-patch was clean, neatly covering the eye in dark velvet.

 _I wouldn't be too shocked if Julian had been a pirate at some point in his life._ It was easy to imagine the auburn-haired man swinging from a rope, standing on the bow of a large ship.

From my position, I could see flecks of brown and gold around his pupil, a small bump in his otherwise straight nose to indicate where it had been broken. _Must've broken it at the Rowdy Raven, or somewhere similar._ My lips twitched. _Or on a pirate ship._

His ears and cheeks were equally pink, amplifying the pale, smooth skin beneath. As he released his lower lip, my gaze was drawn south; his lips were parted and sharply hewn.

I briefly wondered if they would be soft to the touch.

Eventually, I pulled my eyes away to meet his shameless gaze, bright with interest. Heat pooled in my abdomen at our proximity, a foreign sensation and...yet not completely unpleasant. Hoping to regain my facilities, I circled behind him, easily ducking under his arm.

Unwilling to let me out of his sight, the doctor twisted to face me.

"I had no idea you were so hands-on." His intense gaze followed my every movement.

 _He was studying me just as much as I was him_. _Neither willing to lose this absurd game._

"There's a lot you don't know about me." I quipped.

_It was almost funny, as I hardly even knew myself. Years of missing time, mysterious past, etc, etc._

Julian grinned, and I realized the smile was slightly crooked. His lips were drawn more towards the left cheek, a charming and fitting quirk for the strange doctor.

"I can tell. How very daring of you." Julian replied, "Aren't you afraid that someone will see?"

At this, my eyes met his again. _He had a point, teasing aside._ Immediately conscious of our situation, my hand froze, inches away from his shoulder.

_What was I thinking? A little challenge and here I was...all but frisking the murderer I was charged to find._

_Supposed murderer._

When my stomach turned again, the butterflies were replaced by a wave of nausea.

"Don't tell me you've changed your mind? Or did you want a little more privacy?" He wiggled his eyebrows, but the enjoyment was gone, ruined by the reality of our predicament.

"Shouldn't _you_ be afraid of being seen?" I moved backwards, crossing my arms to pin them in place, "This isn't the Rowdy Raven."

 _His brazen nature must've rubbed off on me. Yes, that was it..._ Something flashed in his visible eye as his arms fell, but the doctor only sounded nonchalant, "Worried about me? How sweet of you." The smirk returned, "I'm only in trouble when I want to be."

 _Somehow, I doubted that but…_ "Alright, I believe you."

"Huh?" He blinked, stammering, "I, ah. Wait, really?"

As if to discern my honesty, he took a step closer. _He couldn't intimidate me with his height or bold proclamations. Shouldn't he know that by now?_

My neck ached as I lifted my gaze to his. "Really." I nodded, pushing as much sincerity into the word as possible.

"Also," My eyes dropped to the overcoat behind us, "The pocketknife in your right pocket doesn't exactly scare me."

"Wha-" His mouth dropped open, eye dipping to where the dagger was concealed. "But, how did you -" The doctor glanced from his fallen coat to me.

My lips twitched, slowly losing the fight to keep a straight face. "Didn't expect that, did you?" I tilted my head.

When our eyes locked, there was a loaded silence. _An unspoken tension._

Then we broke into laughter.

Julian held a hand to his stomach, a bright grin stretched across his features. I covered my own smile, shoulders shaking with the effort of suppressing my laughter.

"Y-your face." I managed between giggles.

"Impressive. How did you know?" He shook his head, wiping at his uncovered eye.

"Magic." I shrugged, raising a single eyebrow to accompany the proud smile. _Detection spells were easy enough._ "Of course. Waiting for the right time, then?" Julian returned the gesture.

"Maybe." With cheeks sore from smiling, I nimbly stepped around the towering doctor. "Or maybe not."

"Wha-where are you going?" He asked, footsteps echoing behind me. "The kitchen." Without turning, I waved a hand, knowing that he would follow, "May as well brew a cup of tea while you tell me what you're really here for."

I smiled when I heard his footsteps falter, "Oh, ah. Right. Sure."

The kitchen was even busier than the shop, overflowing with pots and pans and spices from Asra's travels. _Asra would often cook a new meal for us when he returned, regaling me with his adventures in the outside world._ My heart ached, fingers wiping away dust that had collected on the small counter. _I'd been away...The goldberries might've gone bad by now._

"You're persistent, huh?" Julian's voice pulled me from the sobering memories, "And thorough, too." His teasing grin faded at my expression.

 _An open book, as Asra once said._ I quickly turned my head away, "So? What brings you here, doctor?"

In the silence, I heard Julian sigh. Busying myself with the teapot, I waited for his reply.

"I...I was looking for answers." He was uncharacteristically quiet, and I strained to listen without moving. "But I didn't find any. Not the ones I wanted."

I peered over my shoulder, where the doctor stood. From several feet away, something passed between us.

_I knew what it felt like, knowing the truth was just out of reach._

I thought of Asra's constant concern for my well-being outside of the shop, the spikes of pain whenever I tried to recall my past, the pity in Inas's eyes when the topic was brought up.

_Always just out of reach._

Julian cleared his throat, pushing himself off the counter. "I appreciate the offer, though I'm afraid I can't stay for tea….And the moment was gone, leaving me simultaneously relieved and disappointed.

The daring doctor lingered by the kitchen door, "But I do hope you're satisfied. I would hate to disappoint you."

In comparison to earlier, his current smirk was a weak attempt at bravado.

With a glance at the bubbling water, I abandoned the pot to follow Julian into the other room. As I entered, the doctor's overcoat was already buttoned, nimble fingers fastening the cloak around his shoulders. "Well, I'm sure you have things to do, so I'll just be getting out of your way."

"Doctor Devorak, I -" He swung the door open, holding up a hand to stop me. "Take care now. If the powers that be should ever entangle us again…"

"Fourth time's the charm." I muttered, earning another chuckle from the strange man.

"Call me Julian." He gave me a final smile, then turned to make his escape. _Again._

However, shock replaced the warm grin, face draining of any and all color.

"Julian?" I frowned, leaning around him to see what he'd been looking at.

_Or who._

_By the stars...It was Portia._

_She must've come to find me. Was it already noon?_ The woman paid little attention to me, her complete focus on the man between us. What felt like minutes passed, the silence only shattered by a single, heart-breaking word.

"Ilya?"

I backed into the wall as Portia threw herself at the doctor, crying, "Ilya? It it really you? Oh my gods, Ilya!"

The pair spun in the doorway, Julian trying to keep them from falling. As I watched, my eyes lingered on their hair and features. A small gasp escaped my lips when the realization hit me. _Why hadn't I seen it before?_

Portia's shaking hands cupped his face, eyes shining with tears. "It's me." He chuckled, setting her carefully down.

"You-you-" Before I could register the change, he was bent over, wincing in pain. "You bastard! What are you doing here? Out in the open?" Her hands curled around his ears, drawing him to her height, "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Face scrunched in pain, Julian responded, "You've, ah, grown up strong, Pasha. I'm, ah, I'm sorry I wasn't there to see it."

"Oh, I'll show you sorry!"

_She was the sister...the one who wrote that letter. Of course._

Something fell from Portia's pocket, gleaming in the sun.

I quietly scooped up the object, twisting it in my hands. The bracelet was gorgeous, intricate diamonds laid in a vine-like pattern across the solid gold. Emeralds and sapphires dotted the jewelry, matching Portia's bright hair and eyes.

"You unbelievable - Cassandra!" Portia froze in horror, eyes darting from her brother to me. Wordlessly, I held out the bracelet.

Porta released her grip on his ears, then gingerly took the item from my outstretched palm. Julian instantly straightened, rubbing at his sore appendages. "Thank you, I-I'll catch up with you later!"

Without further ado, the woman hauled the floundering doctor outside, towards the nearby alley. For a moment, I stood in the door frame, wondering how strong the red-haired woman really was.

 _At the tavern, Julian claimed he hadn't seen her in years. It certainly fit her reaction, but did that mean…?_ My thoughts raced at the implications, a theory beginning to develop.

I remained at the shop for a while longer, finishing the cup of spiced tea as I wandered.

My eyes drifted over the fabrics draped across the entrance to the backroom, Asra's reading room... _Asra was…the closest thing I had to family._

I took another sip, humming softly.

_If I could truly track someone with only a possession of theirs, like the Countess believed, I could use that to call Asra. I could go to the fountain again, in the palace gardens. But I needed something with meaning to him..._

For some time, I lingered over his possessions, clothing and magical relics, comforted by the smoky scent. _A hint of cinnamon and orange._

"Strange," I set the cup down beside an older crystal ball, vexed by the lack of progress.

_None of his things carried even a mere trace of his magic. How could that be?_

I eventually left, empty-handed.

Mid-day, the sun beat down on the city, warming my exposed skin. I smoothed out the light cotton shirt, grateful to have something from home.

As I grew closer to the square, the clock's tolls rang louder and louder. _The announcement._

"Hear ye, hear ye!" A familiar voice yelled, and I quickened my pace to reach the square, where a crowd was already formed. A pleasant scent lingered in the area, a rich, woody smell.

Densely packed, I didn't even attempt at making my way towards the center. An older couple gave me a kindly smile as I stood beside them with the rest of the latecomers. I leaned on my tip-toes to see the flash of ginger in the middle.

"On the eve of the passing of your most glorified Count Lucio, the Countess will open the palace gates." Excited chatter erupted around us, making it difficult to hear Portia. "That's right, folks!" She called, "All are invited not to mourn, but to celebrate the spirit of the dearly departed Count!"

I winced at the abrupt roar of cheers, people raising their hands into the air, turning to one other with wide smiles and hugs. "It'll be a Masquerade like no other before! Spread the word, tell your friends! You won't wanna miss this!"

_Inas was going to be so upset that she missed this._

The musky scent grew stronger, and I turned to follow it away from the crowd.

_It was myrrh, the same as the herbs from the leather pouch._

Thankfully, they weren't hard to find.

Away from the masses, in one of the few shadowed alleys, stood a hulking figure.

Their face was hidden by an old hood, the heavy brow masking their eyes. Despite the festivities behind us, the figure reminded me of a harbinger of despair. I shivered despite the sun's warmth.

Though I couldn't see their eyes, I felt their eyes connect. Abruptly, the looming figure turned towards the backstreet. For a second, I watched the stranger move further and further away, glancing down at my bag, where the pouch was concealed.

Decision made, I broke into a run.

Their lumbering pace was easy to match; halfway down the street, I caught up to them, barely out of breath. "Hey," For every step of theirs, I had to take two, or three, "Where are you going?"

I almost stumbled when the figure paused, turning slowly in my direction. From underneath the robes, a deep voice rumbled, "Blindly to the slaughter. Just like the rest of you." _Oh, how...cheerful._

"What do you mean?" I frowned, "Please, speak plainly." _Had Asra sent them? Why had they left me that pouch? Why did they seem so familiar?_ "It doesn't matter." My brow furrowed at the sadness tinging the edges of their aura, "My words won't last. They never do." The stranger shuffled away, and this time, I heard the rattle of chains. "Wait, who are you?" My frustration slipped through as I sprinted to catch up with them once more.

In my haste, I nearly tripped over an abandoned pot. Quickly righting myself and the object, I turned the corner. The crowd's cheering was faint, though it grew louder with every passing second. The figure was paused at the bottom of a staircase leading towards the backstreets.

_They waited…? They were listening._

"Where are you going?" With a speed I didn't realize was possible for their size, the stranger turned, hood falling to their shoulders. Briefly, I saw a pair of vivid green eyes studying me cautiously.

_Like a caged animal._

A flash of pity ran through me at the scars littering the man's face and shoulders. I saw the chains around his chest and wrists before he backed away, large hands raising the hood.

"Wait-" I stepped forwards, but the man turned and ran, broad shoulders scraping the wall. My curiosity drove me forwards, scrambling over the stone to follow.

It was with a sinking heart that I emerged into the busy marketplace, nearly running into someone.

 _It was easier to disappear in a crowd..._ I reached inside the bag, fingers meeting leather.

_Or not!_

I found him on the far end of the street, avoiding the crowd.

He stopped behind a narrow pole supporting a merchant's booth. _If it was protection he was looking for, it was a poor attempt._

As soon as I approached, the stranger tried to run.

_Were they...trying to hide from me?_

Torn between amusement and frustration, I called out, "Please, wait! I just want to talk." The man paused behind a towering cart of apples, lowering his body to conceal himself.

_..._

_Really?_

Once the cart moved, the man hunched near a stray dog... _Should I be offended?_

The stranger realized the futility of the gesture at the same time, and together, we watched the skinny animal trod into the crowd with practiced ease.

I nearly jumped when the man spoke again, scowling up at me from his kneeled position, "Go away."

"I just want to ask you something." I frowned.

In the back of my mind, I wondered why I was the only one paying attention to the jumpy, hulking man. _Was everyone here just...used to this? Or distracted by the news?_ The crowd flowed around us, people carrying on their daily lives and chatting about the return of the Masquerade. With every person that moved close enough, the man would tense, muscles flexing and relaxing repeatedly.

Despite his size, he looked...scared.

The question I'd been dying to ask simmered on my lips; instead, I found myself saying, "Are you okay?" Concern pricked at my conscience, and I slowly kneeled in front of him.

"What?" His fists - easily the size of my head - clenched, but I wasn't nervous. _Only curious, and the tiniest bit pitying._

"What's that supposed to mean?" He rumbled, barely audible over the noise. His murky green eyes darted to a pair of children running past before returning to me. "I mean, do you need help?" Carefully, I pressed a hand against my chest, "Can I help you?"

The man huffed, rising to his feet. As I followed suit, he replied, "You can leave."

_Rude._

I returned the frown, brow furrowing. He began to leave, and panic swelled in my chest.

"Wait!" I raised a hand, keeping myself from moving closer, "Do you know Asra?"

 _I needed to know._ He met my pleading gaze, likely seeing the poorly concealed desperation.

"Please." I added, quieter.

He seemed to consider the question - _or whether or not to actually answer_ \- then finally said, "Better than anyone."

Even with his irritated tone, relief rushed through me. I took a cautious step closer. "Did he send you to check up on me?"

Green eyes flickered, slowly returning to my face, "Yes." I saw his throat bob, then the man spoke again, "He's my only friend."

 _Huh, interesting._ It was odd, I realized, to feel both pity and empathy in the same breath.

He tensed when I chuckled, "I can relate."

As far back as I could remember - which wasn't much - Asra had been there for me. _In his frustratingly vague, slightly overprotective way._

"No, you can't." Although the comment sounded harsh, a pleased smile pulled at his lips. Resisting the temptation to hold out my hand, I replied, "Let's be friends, then."

"What?" He blinked, scowling, "No...Why?"

_Ball of sunshine and rainbows, this one._

Thinking of my own, bitter mental commentary, I supposed that I didn't have much room to talk.

"We're both friends with Asra," I risked another step forwards, cheering silently when he didn't back away, "I'd like it if we could be friends, too."

_And I meant it. He was strange, sure, but who wasn't in this city? Besides, if he knew Asra..._

My pride was slightly hurt when he shook his head, "I don't want another friend."

He looked down at me, "Especially not _you._ "

Any amusement from the bizarre encounter was immediately ruined. _What did that mean?_

"Have we met?"

Another step, and the man tensed, muscles clenching. _How could someone so incredibly large be so...skittish?_

"It doesn't matter." The man growled, "We're not friends."

"We could be." I tried to smile, smothering the burning curiosity. A thousand more questions buzzing in my head from the encounter. His expression shifted to something akin to - there was a shout from behind, a low rumble along the ground.

"-ove! Move!"

Turning, I stumbled back just in time to avoid the escaped apple cart barreling down the road.

The panicked farmer waved his apologies as he darted past. By the time I regained my balance...the stranger was gone.

Frustration flared, and I sighed heavily. _I was so close._

The heated emotion faded as I watched life continue around me.

_Close...to what?_

Confused, I glanced around the street, wondering why I was back in the market.

 _Hadn't I just been in the square, listening to Portia's announcement?_ My eyes widened. _Portia!_

Stepping over a slumbering dog - likely a stray, judging by the matted fur - I maneuvered around the crowd towards the center of town.

 _Strange._ As I walked, I couldn't help but feel that I was forgetting something. _Something big._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end of the Prologue...What choice will you make?


	14. Book 6: The Hierophant contd.

The very air was hazy, elegant plumes of smoke rising to the arched ceiling. I resisted the urge to cover my nose at the underlying sharp tang. _Like someone spilled chemicals or cleaning supplies, but that was unlikely._ The castle was nothing if not incredibly efficient.

"They must already be inside," Portia mused. I could only nod, tongue seemingly sticking to the roof of my mouth. _To say that I was nervous was a massive understatement._ A horde of bees had taken up residence in my stomach, remaining in constant movement since our return to the castle.

For once, Portia was quiet, only sparing me a pitying glance. We hadn't spoken about the metaphorical elephant in the room. _Julian. Her brother, her family._ _I couldn't begin to imagine what that was like.._.Nevertheless, her pleading eyes and smile had torn at my heartstrings, and in the carriage, we exchanged a small smile.

_Our little secret._

Near the parlor, the music and cackling laughter became clearer. _Time to focus._

"Don't worry." Portia patted my shoulder, "These people can't wait to meet you." _That's what I was afraid of._ Still, I nodded silently.

_People...that's all they were._ With that, the parlor doors swung open. _Just people._

Figures were sprawled across pillowy couches, draped in expensive fabrics. The Countess noticed me first, twisting in her seat beside an elegant pipe organ. The final chord echoed throughout the room as Portia straightened, "Announcing Cassandra Knight, friend of the palace and apprentice to Asra, the magician."

"Welcome, Cassandra." Nadia's lips curled into a comforting smile, easing my already frayed nerves.

A small, tanned woman perked up immediately, brown curls escaping her white hat. "This is Cassandra?" She clapped her hands together, chirping, "She's cuter than I imagined!" _She was the Procurator...what was it? Volta? She was in charge of the city's food supplies._

In comparison, the man next to her was incredibly pale, sharp features stretched into a smile, "What a delightful surprise, we were all just talking about you!" _Oh, wonderful._ My stomach flipped at Praetor Vlastomil's comment. _A well-known magistrate and one of the five members of the Countess's court._

On the opposite couch, a pear-shaped woman patted an empty seat, "Sit, sit! Sit right here, beside me, Cassandra."

I glanced at Portia, who nodded encouragingly. "It is an honor to meet you, Pontifex Vulgora." I silently prayed that I used the right name. Relief flooded through me at the woman's smile, face almost as red as her brightly patterned outfit. _Even after Portia's reassurance, I certainly hadn't expected such enthusiasm._

I eyed the metal gauntlets on the Pontifex's hands - _sharp and gleaming, near deadly in their construction_ \- before reluctantly settling next to her. "It's an honor to meet the members of the court."

I tried to imitate Nadia, calm and pleasant.

_In control._

From her position by the organ, Nadia smiled, "Tell me, Cassandra," She played another note on the large instrument, "How was the announcement received?"

"One can only imagine."

I intrinsically stiffened at the third voice, monotone and dry like sawdust. In the haze, unnaturally bright eyes met mine.

The rest of the courtier's face was concealed by a mask that matched the coverings on their head. I kept my face blank, even as my eyes wandered over the horn-like manner in which they styled their hair. _Or what I assumed to be hair._

Their entire outfit was clinical and starch-white, aside from two shining black gloves. The rubber fingers were steepled, red eyes boring into my dull green. "Even we, the favorites of the Countess," The head physician added, "the closest to her heart, had no idea." There was a quiet thud from the door, but I dared not pull my gaze away.

_The unpleasant medical scent...was coming from them._

I didn't even realize how focused I was on the courtier until the smaller woman, Procurator Volta, fell dramatically backwards.

"Our dear Countess, who shares everything with us! Only she could orchestrate such a surprise!"

My hands turned white in my efforts to remain still as the couch shook slightly, nearly bouncing me from my seat.

"A surprise Masquerade!" Pontifex Vulgora trilled, grinning from ear to ear. Her voice rose and fell in pitch, as if she could not commit to just one, "How lucky we are, not having to worry about planning for it!" "How lucky Cassandra would have to be, to get a word in with you all. " Nadia interrupted their outbursts, sighing, "Goodness."

They were all quite comfortable with one another. _Overlapping, interjecting._

Unwillingly, my eyes flickered back to the physician. _They caught me staring._

Flushing, my stomach did another loop as I focused on smiling at the other courtiers. _Oh._ There was a final courtier in the room which - in all the so-called excitement - I hadn't previously noticed.

I nodded politely at the long-haired man when our eyes met. _Last, but not least, the Consul Valerius. He appeared to be the youngest, and perhaps the most normal, out of the group. Aside from Nadia, that was._

"Oh, but how lucky are we!" Cried the spindly magistrate, "To be taken in by the Countess, an unproven, unknown apprentice!"

The Procurator tugged at her hat, biting her lip in a seemingly thoughtless gesture, "And to take such a...dare I say it, chance? So very unlike our most thoughtful and meticulous Countess!"

_...Why did it feel like I was being insulted?_

My lips remained frozen in an awkward smile, hands tight in my lap.

"Chance, you say?" Nadia removed her hand from the keys, "It was not chance that led me to Miss Knight's door." _Thank the stars that the Countess was here._

"Then, perhaps," I was surprised when the Consul spoke up, still sprawled against a silken chair, wine glass in hand, "The Countess might inform her adoring court…" His pale golden eyes scanned the room, "how exactly it was that she arrived at the witch's door that night."

_Witch?_

I frowned, then immediately smoothed out my features. Judging by the piercing stare from Quaestor Valdemar, it had not gone unnoticed.

Consul Valerius offered me a hand without moving from his position. _Did he expect…?_ There was a pause as the figures in the room awaited my response.

Something unpleasant coiled in my gut when I rose to my feet, gingerly crossing the space to shake the courtier's hand. Though the man was seated, he was somehow able to look down his thin nose at me. "Consul Valerius," He drawled.

_I know._ It was tempting to say, but I remained in control. _Just barely._

Portia had mentioned that the Countess minded him more than the others. _I wished she had warned me about his...arrogance._ "Perhaps," The man continued, "the...witch might tell us, herself."

_That name again._

Limited as my memories were, I had not forgotten an especially horrible customer from several months ago.

Not all fortunes were pleasant ones, especially if they were genuine readings. That morning, Asra had provided his services for the customer, only to be yelled at for so-called slander. The customer had stormed out, declaring the fortune was nothing but "the lies of a slimy witch". It had little impact on our business, but a few merchants had given Asra strange looks when they thought we couldn't see. Asra remained his usual self - he claimed we needed to 'rise above it' - but my blood still boiled at the memory.

_Asra may not be entirely forthcoming, but he was always, always honest._

Now, that same anger bubbled in my chest, and I heard Vlademar chuckle softly.

"Perhaps don't call me that." I lifted my chin, straightening my posture to stare down at him, dropping his hand.

The others gasped audibly. After a clear pause, I bowed my head, adding, "Consul."

"Interesting." Amongst the scandalized whispers, I heard the physician's low voice, "The mouse speaks."

Before I could respond - _what did that even mean?_ \- Consul Valerius shot back, "Witch? Is that not your occupation?"

My fists clenched to prevent me from lashing out further. I could already feel the Countess's eyes on me.

"Ah, forgive my mistake." Valerius took a slow sip of his wine, relishing the moment, "You are but an apprentice."

The insult hurt more than I expected.

As if watching a play, the other courtiers gasped, turning from Valerius to myself. Bitterness swelled in my breast, threatening to rise up my throat and choke me.

_The worst part was that he was right._

_I was just an apprentice. Asra was the real magician, and I...I wasn't even strong enough to join him on his travels._

I was mortified when tears pricked at my eyes, blinking rapidly to keep them at bay.

Consul Valerius smiled, the battle won.

Red eyes continued to stare, just...watching. _Quietly observing everything and everyone._

"You know," Nadia's voice was a soothing balm to my rattling emotions, "if you all wanted so badly to know how that night transpired, you might have simply asked. As it happens, I was having some trouble sleeping."

Mercifully, the attention was drawn towards her, away from my trembling form. _Except for Quaestor Valdemar, of course._

With the courtiers distracted, I sunk into the nearest seat. _Consul Valerius was less than a foot away._

_Still, it was too late to move._

"You have been struggling with sleep for some time, Countess." Genuine concern laced the woman's tone. "Yes, Procurator." Nadia sighed, "As such, I was having trouble sleeping. On that night I woke haunted by the spectre of a dream, no escape for my mind. No comfort from my terrors, nor anyone to whom I could turn, who might understand them."

_She was giving me time._

Breathing deeply, I focused on the sincerity in each dulcet word, on the tale she painted for the room's occupants, "Indeed, I was in a desperate state… desperately seeking someone, anyone who may be of help to me. It was I who was lucky to come across the one I needed so soon." Her ruby eyes turned to me, a fond smile on her painted lips. "A benevolent universe brought us together, did it not, Cassandra?"

_Thank you._ I tried to silently convey my gratitude, nodding, "Yes, Countess."

The moment was broken by an airy sigh as the Consul peered at me through his wine. Without pulling his gaze away, he responded, "Oh, it pains us Countess, to know that you felt you must look elsewhere for an ear to confide upon." How very... _sincere_. Regardless, the other courtiers agreed, faces drawn with sympathy.

The dark drink in his glass swirled from side to side.

"We may seem frivolous to you," The Consul smirked in my direction, pulling his gaze towards the Countess, "but should you deem us worthy of your trust, our hearts are as open as a book!"

As if to emphasize his point, the man threw his arms wide with a flourish. I watched in disbelief as the remaining wine from his glass flew through the air...

And onto me.

Cool liquid splattered against my face and skin, soaking into the nice garments. I leapt to my feet in shock. _He.._.Tart wine dripped into my mouth and eyes, and a collective gasp swept across the room.

_He...he did that on purpose._ _The Consul threw wine at me!_

"Oh, my apologies, how clumsy of me!" The Consul set the empty glass on the table, eyes glittering in satisfaction, "Surely a witch as skilled as you knows some hocus pocus to remedy this dilemma?"

I scarcely noticed the shocked laughter from the women, the unphased stare of the physician, or even the Countess's murderous expression as she silently stood, moving to the center of the parlor.

_How...how dare he...Nadia's clothes were completely ruined..._ Before coming to the parlor, Portia had insisted I change into something of the Countess's choosing.

_I knew basic cleaning spells, of course, but wine stains on white fabric?_

As my anger rose to dizzying degrees. my nails dug sharply into the skin of my palm, breathing ragged. My magic instantly reacted, flashing wildly in my fists.

_I was never as good at hiding my emotions. Not like Asra._

"Very interesting." Quaestor Valdemar murmured, crimson eyes glimmering in interest.

"Enough, Valerius." Nadia's voice could've cut ice.

I shivered, unsure as to whether it was from the cold liquid, Nadia's tone, or the eerie physician. "You have exhausted my patience for tonight. All of you, out. To your chambers." Her gaze pinned the Consul to his seat while the others burst into complaint.

I was pleased to notice that Nadia's stern stare had similar effects on Valerius. He shrunk into his seat slightly, his already white skin growing pale.

In a clipped voice, she added, "I would appreciate it if you could make it there without spilling, but I won't count on it." "Countess." The man merely bowed his head, gracefully rising to his feet.

An idea formed, and before I regret it, I turned to fully face him. _Sorry, Master. I wish I could be more like you, but._.."You are correct, Consul," I nodded carefully, anger coiled around my chest. I met his golden eyes before dipping into a slow bow.

I felt, more than saw, my hands glow.

Magic ran through each limb, down to my fingers and toes. "Such magic is quite simple. I do hope this eases your…doubts."

As I rose from my position, the Consul's eyes were round with surprise. To the side, Nadia gasped quietly.

His gaze darted across my figure. The only wine that appeared to remain sat in a puddle around my feet, soaking into the thick fabric of my shoes.

My outfit - a beautiful creation in hues of white and blue - now appeared to be in perfect condition.

"Rest assured I am capable of the duties given to me by the Countess, Consul Valerius." _I will meet any challenge you set for me._

Something shifted in his golden eyes. _Message received._

"We shall see." He responded slowly.

My magic strained, simmering beneath my skin.

After a final, appraising stare, the Consul followed the other courtiers out of the room. Somebody began clapping, causing me to tense.

Procurator Volta was smiling by the door, hands fluttering together. "Amazing!" She cooed, eyes lit with excitement. Heat rose to my cheeks as the embarrassment finally set in.

_That...could've gone better._ With a quick wave, the small woman disappeared, too.

A pair of jeweled hands gently turned me to face the Countess, who studied me with unusual reserve. _Caution_ , I realized.

Even with magic, wine stains weren't easy to instantly clean. While I had been able to evaporate some of the liquid, I had also used an illusion to make it appear as if the outfit was completely restored. _Two spells at once._..I thought of the Consul's expression. _Worth it._

The light in my hands fizzled out, and my shoulders slumped. At once, dried wine stains bloomed across the patches of white.

Nadia leaned closer, ruby eyes wide.

Dread settled in my stomach, the full realization finally hitting me.

_I had disrespected one of the beloved members of court, using magic selfishly. Oh, Nadia was going to be furious._

"I am sorry, Cassandra," Nadia frowned.

_Wait, what?_

"I had imagined many outcomes to this evening's affair. I must admit that this was one of them." _She wasn't...upset?_ Nadia scanned my partially sopping figure. "We must rid you of these ruined clothes, of course… tsk, such pettiness." _At least she knew it was intentional._

Regret and embarrassment sunk into my bones, aching and resigned.

"My apologies, Countess. I should've known better than to let him…" I swallowed the remnants of my sudden fury. _I was the equivalent of a child who had thrown a tantrum._ A small voice reminded me of how _good_ it had felt, ending the encounter on my terms.

Her grip tightened on my shoulders, then released, arms falling to her side.

"If anything," Nadia chuckled. _She was laughing?_ "I believe you have earned their favor." Her eyes drifted towards the doorway, "...Procurator Volta, at the very least."

She clapped her hands together once; I jumped, nearly slipping in the puddle as Portia appeared. _When had she gotten here?_

"Moving forwards," Nadia declared, "I have taken enough liberties with your wardrobe. So please, do not hesitate. Tell me what you would like." Her brilliant smile returned, "And please, Cassandra, spare no expense."

My brow furrowed as I studied the Countess, slightly baffled by the request.

Judging by the gleam in her eyes and smile, she _wanted_ me to ask for riches. It felt wrong, and yet, the woman's demeanor confirmed it. _Did she enjoy showering people in gifts?_ I thought of the Portia's bracelet from earlier. No one but the Countess could afford such an item. It must've been given to Portia - specially made, by the looks of it - by her. _Maybe for a birthday or celebration, but regardless._..

The Countess was waiting for my answer.

Uncomfortable in both the sticky clothes and situation, I fidgeted on the spot. Dark liquid pooled around my feet, soaking into the carpet.

_I wouldn't be able to ask her for such luxurious gifts, even if I wanted them_...I considered the plush bed and silky garments I had been given thus far.

_At best, I was a guest here._

_At worst...well, I'd just experienced a glimpse._

"What do you think, Cassandra? You need not hesitate on my behalf." Nadia tilted her head, smile diminished by the lack of response.

I wiped more of the wine from my lips. _Bitter, of course._ "I am deeply appreciative of the previous garments you have provided thus far. Your eye for beauty is much more refined than mine." I heard the door open behind us. "I put my fate into your hands, Countess." I smiled, hoping to make my appreciation clear.

Thankfully, the carefully-worded answer seemed to please the Countess.

"Say no more." Nadia glowed, gliding past me to the door, where Portia stood, waiting.

"Portia," Nadia's hand lingered on the woman's freckled shoulder, "please assist Cassandra to the bathhouse, then meet me in my private quarters."

"Yes, millady." Portia nodded, smiling in return. _Was she...blushing?_ I shook my head, wiping droplets of wine from my eyelashes. _Of course not._

With this, Portia guided me out of the parlor with little effort.

_Wait until Asra heard about this._

The ginger woman gave me a strange look when I suddenly laughed to myself.

_Hopefully he would find it amusing._

_..._

A parcel waited for me by the bedroom window after I finished bathing.

Rejuvenated by the hot water - _the bathhouse was quickly becoming one of my favorite spots in the palace_ \- the weight of the day was lifted, leaving behind a bone-deep exhaustion. Tendrils of guilt clung to me, though I tried to reason them away. _I couldn't change the past._ _I would have to live with my actions...even those I didn't regret as much as I should._

Focusing on the small package, I carefully peeled it open.

"A gift," The accompanying letter read in swirling letters, "for my dear guest. This emerald seemed to call your name. Wear it in good health."

I smiled, glancing down at the parcel, "And Cassandra, you may call me Nadia." _Guess she was waiting for the right time to correct me, after all._

The fluid chain slipped through my fingers as I picked up the rectangular jewel, in awe of the vivid green radiating from the center. _It was beautiful._

The longer I held it, however, the more I recognized its energy.

I gripped it tighter. _Was I mistaken? No...I knew this feeling all too well._

Asra's magic radiated from the gem in gentle, soothing ripples.

For a moment, I held the emerald to my chest, closing my eyes. _I missed him._ Especially on days like today.

My eyes opened, thinking back to my futile efforts to find something of his in the shop. _To come upon this brilliant jewel, alive with his energy…_

"Thank you, Nadia." I whispered. Setting the jewel around my neck, I spun on my heel towards the door.

_Sleep would have to wait...this was my chance._


	15. Book 6: The Hierophant fin.

At midnight, I snuck out of the castle.

With the emerald hanging from my neck, a dreamy calm enveloped my senses. _I'm coming, Asra._

I passed the empty staircase and veranda, relishing the humid breeze. It followed me languidly through the garden, swelling and dipping, carrying the babble of night birds. My excitement grew as I walked. _I knew the way._

The fountain appeared the same as last time, down to the violet-scaled snake in the willow tree.

"Faust," I smiled warmly as her weight landed eagerly onto my shoulders, sleek body giving me a friendly squeeze. _Did she know I was coming? Or this could be where she keeps slithering off to…_ Immediately, Faust gravitated towards the emerald. Her tongue flickered after it as I settled beside the fountain.

"Ready?" I smiled down at the snake. _Ready._ Taking a deep, even breath, I held the jewel above the clear water...then dropped it.

The fountain's gentle light caught each facet of the jewel as it sunk, creating a stunning display in the water.

Faust shifted against my exposed shoulders while the water began to change, colors blooming like small clouds. Rippling stars appeared on the surface, revealing a darkened sky and a familiar face.

"You're back." Asra's image smiled up at me.

Shadowed palm trees swayed over his head, starlight catching in his glowing white curls. "Asra," I leaned against the stone ledge, smiling, "you don't seem too surprised." "I saw the water changing this time." He shrugged, eyes drifting to the side.

"Faust," He greeted warmly, "you're looking lively." I felt the familiar's tongue brush against my neck. "Being around Cassandra does that to you, doesn't it?" Laying a chin in his palm, the starlight was seemingly reflected in his half-lidded eyes. I studied his face, the curve of his lips and curls. _His secret escapades must've been fulfilling today._

"You look tired." I commented, tilting my head down at the water. "Do I?" He mimicked the movement, "I don't feel tired. I was just about to get into the water, but you beat me to it." Instead of responding, I rolled my eyes. The gesture, however, was ruined by my matching smile.

I was content, too, like this. _With him._

Faust slid down my arm, lingering on the stone ledge to take sniffing flicks at the water. _Our relationship was...complicated, as Inas said. Asra was sweet, always making little compliments like that._

_Even so, something kept him from completely opening up to me. Something about my past...our past, maybe?_

The notion _had_ occurred to me before.

Just because I couldn't remember anything past three years ago didn't mean I was wholly oblivious.

_He brought little gifts, like that homemade dream catcher and freshly made bread from Nasir's bakery._

_I felt his eyes on me whenever we were in the same room, even whilst serving customers._

_And the time that woman tried slipping me a love potion from our very shop..._

Despite the brief thrill at each gentle smile or thoughtful gesture, the man kept himself at a distance. Closing some part of himself off, to me and the rest of the world.

Shaking the musings off, I eyed the palm trees behind him.

"Where are you?" I asked, wondering if he would say. When Asra looked over his shoulder, I leaned closer.

 _It was gorgeous._ Swirling galaxies seemed to drift over his head, shining through the fronds. "A place inside of me." He murmured thoughtfully, turning back to me, "Who would have thought you'd be able to reach me here? Your magic is inescapable."

_That was a good thing, right? And what did 'inside' mean?_

Thankfully, I was too relaxed to be properly disgruntled by the vague answer.

Though he was only an image, his violet eyes stared right through me, "I think you'll be able to follow me all the way."

"All the way?" I repeated, a strange flurry of nerves rising at the comment, "To where?" "You'll know when we get there." Asra chuckled, a comforting, melodic noise. I scarcely noticed Faust bobbing her small head in my silent struggle to tamper the sudden rush of hope.

_Does that mean...he'll take me with him, one day?_

Asra watched the snake dance, affectionate, "You two have definitely gotten closer. She's opening up to you. It may be time for me to do the same."

_Wait, what?_

Any attempts at concealing the aching hope - almost painful in its intensity - failed.

My expression must've been quite a sight, because Asra began to laugh, high and unrestrained. "No, really." He wiped tears from his eyes, a beautiful smile on his lips, "It's true. I want to start being more honest with you."

My own grin was uncontainable. "Who are you and what have you done with my master?" I laughed, pausing when a shadow crossed his face. _Right, he didn't like that name._

_Maybe I could finally discover why._

I watched his shoulders rise and fall with a heavy sigh. "I mean it, Cassandra." Asra's eyes met mine, violet and green, "What's on your mind? Ask me whatever you like. All that I ask…"

Nerves fluttered as I waited for his request, "...is that you start being more honest with me, too." Biting my lip, I slowly nodded. _You're most honest in dreams._ I thought of the dream in which we'd almost fought, the one that ended with Asra crying…My heart twisted painfully at the reminder.

"Cassandra?" Asra's soft voice washed over me, underlaid with the faint chirping of night birds and subtle splashing from the fountain.

"Who is Julian to you?"

My first question wasn't what I expected.

 _There was so much I wanted to know, that I wanted to ask of him. But..._ I was scared of seeing his face in such agony, again.

This question was easier...or so I hoped.

"Julian?" His dimple vanished, confusion followed by a wave of understanding. "Ah, yes, he goes by that name, too."

The doctor stirred long forgotten emotions from Asra, judging by the tightening of his eyes and flash of purple.

"I knew him by another name. He was a…" He searched for the right word, eyes flickering across the surface, "a friend, once. Then more." _More?_

I felt my eyes widen. _After hour visits that required a key to the shop. Late nights..._

"And then something else...Something I had to get away from."

I didn't like the way his eyes hardened, mouth forming a stiff, almost angry frown.

It was...unlike him, to express such fury. _I couldn't remember seeing him angry, ever._

_Sad, yes. Nostalgic and guilty, sometimes._

_But angry?_

"Who is Julian to me?" He repeated, sounding distant, "Who is he to anyone?"

Asra scoffed, an uncomfortably bitter sound coming from his lips, "Whoever he needs to be to get what he wants. To think he would come for me, after all that…" He shook his head, stray curls concealing his eyes, "let's leave it at this. He's a hack physician with a lot to learn. Until he does, nothing good will come of him." I was quiet.

_That was...the longest answer I'd ever gotten from him._ _About anything._

_And the way he spoke about the doctor..._ I thought about my own experiences with the smirking man.

Albeit limited, my interactions with Julian Devorak were unusual but...pleasant?

He'd broken in - or snuck into - the shop twice, but had helped me out of the barrel when I fell. Ever since our initial meeting, I hadn't once been worried about my well-being around him. _The Rowdy Raven itself was another story…_ "Why do you ask?" Asra sounded tired, now, and the twist of guilt resurfaced.

_Maybe I shouldn't have asked._

I picked at the skin around my nails, meeting the magician's gaze. The swirling sky above him illuminated his face, falling gently across his high cheekbones and smooth, tanned skin. Purple eyes waited for my response, slightly dulled with the burden of unpleasant memories.

"Well," I resisted the urge to study the fountain beside me in great detail. _How would he react? We swore to be honest with one another._ "Julian was...well, he broke in again." I paused, then added, "This evening." Asra's expression shifted to one of shock.

I rushed to continue, nearly knocking Faust over as she climbed my arm. "He hadn't broken in, just used a...a key he had. Said it was for after hours."

Asra looked as if he had swallowed a lemon.

_So Asra hadn't gotten the Plague, they must've...been together, during that time._

"But Julian's been nothing but nice to me since, if not a bit…" I hoped my embarrassment didn't show, recalling the ridiculous pat-down mere hours ago, "brash."

In the silence, I felt my stomach turn uneasily. As Faust curled loosely around my neck, head hanging where the emerald had been, Asra finally spoke, "I see." He studied my face carefully. "What else has happened since we last spoke? It seems I have missed a lot."

Something about the way he spoke made me want to apologize. _For what, though?_

The tension in his features became more defined the more I explained the past two days.

Nadia's test in the garden, chasing after guards dressed as animals...I reluctantly admitted that she used the Emperor card as incentive, though Asra was mercifully accepting. _Thank the stars._

"The deck is reunited, is it not?" He commented, smiling, "I'm not surprised that Nadia would attempt to test your abilities. She was always very cautious and purposeful." _He called her Nadia._ From the way he spoke, it was as if…"Do you know Nadia?" I asked before I could lose my nerve.

Thankfully, unlike the question about Julian, Asra didn't appear upset at the mention of the Countess.

"We trusted each other," He shrugged, brushing loose curls from his face, "She was a dear friend, once." That distant look returned, paired with a small, nostalgic smile. "We could talk about anything and everything for the whole night...but we're strangers now."

_How? Had they fought? If so, why did Nadia speak as if she didn't know him? What could they have possibly argued about that she would pretend like that?_

I wanted desperately to ask; the question sat on the tip of my tongue.

His expression from earlier staved off my curiosity, however.

_I didn't want him to look like that ever again._

I shivered at the way his soft features had twisted into something foreign and cold. _It was unlike the man I knew him to be._ _Asra was gentle and warm._

The magician hummed, fingers faintly brushing against the water. The surface rippled momentarily, his face blurring into simple shapes and colors, though his voice remained audible, "Precious friends, precious experiences…you'd be amazed what people can forget. When they don't want to remember…"

I pondered as to who - _or what_ \- he was referring to. _I recognized that tone._

The water settled, returning to a clear image of the magician. With a final shake of his head, Asra smiled, "So that's what you wanted to know? That wasn't so bad." I silently frowned, taken aback by the shift in mood.

His eyes sparkled mischievously in the starlight, a smirk stretching across his full lips, "Or… is there, perhaps, something else on your mind?"

 _Changing the subject, huh?_ This time, I was relieved. Another question rose to my lips, along with the return of the butterflies. They fluttered in my stomach, rising to my chest.

 _Breathe, Cassandra._ _Be honest._

I sucked in a deep breath, nodding. Quietly, my eyes met his.

"Who…" I was practically whispering, heart thumping in my ears, "Who am I to you?"

His eyes widened, clearly not anticipating this particular question. What appeared to be hurt and confusion flashed across his face, gone before I could point it out.

Sighing, Asra folded his hands in his lap, "Who are you to me?" His gaze fell to somewhere below, likely to where Faust hung around my neck.

"Cassandra, why do you ask?"

Some unrecognizable emotion strained his voice. My own hands grew clenched and pale against my pants, a soft green color. _Pajamas from the Countess. To match the emerald, I supposed. And my eyes, according to the note._

"It's time I knew." I dreaded the wounded look that might come from such a remark, but we had promised.

_I needed to know._

Asra felt guilty about anything relating to my previous memories. _It wasn't as if he had killed me or anything, so why? I was here, healthy and safe. And more than capable of joining him..._ To help ease the potential blow, I continued, "You've been my...teacher for three years now."

His smile didn't quite reach those luminous eyes. "True enough." He sighed again, still refusing to meet my gaze, "I keep putting it off, making excuses...Cass, you're not a student to me...never have been." I frowned, mind racing.

_Cass? He'd never given me a nickname before._

_And what did he mean, never? Where else would I have learned magic?_

The very atmosphere felt fragile, as if one wrong word could shatter the moment.

I remained quiet, knowing Asra would fill the silence if compelled. "You've helped me grow," Asra's dimple returned, "I've learned from you just as much as you from I."

"But is that all?" The question fell from my lips without thought. I leaned backwards, surprised by the sudden desire.

Asra peered up at me through swaying curls. "Nowhere close." He murmured, voice low, "Do you want it all?"

I immediately nodded.

"Are you sure?" Restrained amusement filled his voice.

"Asra!" I couldn't help but laugh, torn between affection and exasperation. My smile grew at the sound of his musical laughter, ringing in the air.

"Alright, alright." He managed between chuckles, calming.

"It's also because you're important to me, too."

It was my turn to act shy. Ducking my head, I stroked Faust's head gently with two fingers. Her eyes closed happily, accepting the distraction.

The cool scales were a pleasant contrast to the heat under my skin.

I thought of his words from earlier, the unadulterated fondness in those amethyst eyes. Each time, I felt vastly undeserving of those loving expressions.

_Such devotion, and to what?_ _Me?_

"I don't know where I'd be without you." I admitted.

When the magician didn't respond, I braved a glance at the water. "Asra?" I bit my lip, disliking how... _exposed_ I felt.

_Vulnerable..._

_Was he going to reject my affection? Were we going to relive that dream, a not-quite memory?_

His lips moved, and I had to shift closer to the edge in order to hear him. Before I could ask him to repeat it, the man raised his voice.

"Truly?"

Something about his uncertainty made my chest ache.

"Despite my flaws?"

I quickly realized why he had fallen silent. _Oh, Asra._

"Despite my absences?" His voice was on the edge of breaking, trembling and unsteady.

I held my hand outstretched above the surface, an invitation.

Asra smiled, moving so that our hands lined up perfectly. Palm to palm, fingers in place...and still, not quite touching. _So close, and yet, so far away._

"I'm a coward," The man watched our hands hover over the surface, "Hiding from you...hiding the truth." My brow furrowed, heart pounding against my ribcage. _Was he finally going to tell me?_

He glanced over his shoulder at something, an almost haunted look crossing his features. "You deserve to know…" Asra said, "You seem strong enough this time."

_This time?_

I could feel my hand shaking slightly.

_Has he tried before? Wouldn't I know if he had?_

Maybe it was before the headaches, in the gaping chasm of my memories...

Suddenly, the pool began to churn, glowing brighter and brighter until my eyes stung. I pulled my hand back, protectively shielding Faust while squinting.

As the light faded, Asra's image stood before me, rising above my seat.

I gasped, scrambling to my feet.

His figure was entirely made from water, shivering and gleaming. The colors were fainter, muted violet eyes and salmon-colored scarf. Like this, he's more like a bubble than a solid being. _But it's him._

"It's not closer than before," His voice came from the watery form, shrugging, "But better this way."

My fingers tingled, aching to reach out and touch him.

I wrapped an arm around myself to keep from moving closer, from shattering the delicate mirage. "I agree," I smiled, then laughed, "You're still barely an inch taller than me, even like this."

"Only an inch?" He chuckled, shaking his head. _We had playfully argued about the minute height difference for as far back as my memories go._

 _And speaking of…_ "You wanted to know it all, so I'll tell you properly." His words seemingly hit harder like this.

Standing before me, without touching distance. Even his silky voice sounded clearer, echoing in the empty garden.

"How deeply, how completely I've come to care for you."

For some reason, my eyes began to mist over. Asra looked down at his aquatic form, chuckling, "I...I didn't think I could feel this way. I even tried to deny it." I barely noticed Faust slither down my limbs, curling up on the stone ledge beside the magician's form.

His hand rose to his half-exposed chest, flush against his skin. "How could I deny it, when my chest is so light, when I feel like I can do anything if I'm with you?"

_Oh._

My face warmed at the confession, but he didn't stop. Words spilled out of Asra like a dam broken. _Freed._

"Every day," Asra exclaimed, eyes glowing under the moonless night, "my love grows for you."

_Love?_

"It grows brighter and brighter," My head spun, impossibly light, "until it consumes me."

I felt something wet against my cheek, aching with a wide smile.

"Sometimes, I'm afraid you can see it." Asra ran a hand through his mass of curls. _Why would he be scared?_ Fear was the last thing on my mind. "And I feel like I have to escape, to hide from you."

_Was that why he was always gone on another trip? Why Asra refused to bring me with him?_

_He'd said it was because I wasn't strong enough, was that just an excuse?_

I moved closer, standing on the stone ledge. Like this, our faces were at the same height.

The fountain's light shone through his raised hands, near cradling my face. I almost tilted my head, hoping to feel the warm, soft palm against my skin.

_He loves me…_

"I don't want to hide anymore," He declared, "I don't want to keep secrets from you, I want you to know...to remember."

"You do?" I found myself asking.

_Asra loves me...he loves me._

"I do." Asra whispered, eyes shining with unshed tears.

The perfect recreation of his face searched for my reaction, drawing closer and closer.

_But..._

Something kept me from taking another step closer, kept me from letting the words slip from my own mouth.

"Why now?"

A tear spilled over my cheek, remembering the pain and rejection of being left behind. All the times he would dance around my questions, leaving me confused and hurt. _Lonely._

_All this time, and we could've…_

"It's been three years." I continued, the lightness in my chest shifting to something else. "All this time, Asra." My voice cracked as the burden of the past weighed on my shoulders, impossible to discard, "Why are you telling me this now?"

Asra's translucent hands fell, the joy in his face crumpling. "Cassandra," He whispered, pulling at my heartstrings.

"Why?"

It was only question that I truly wanted to know, _needed_ to know. The wall that divided us, kept us from... _well_...His watery form took a step backwards in the pool; panic instantly reared its ugly head, and I stumbled into the water.

 _He was going to leave again._ "Wait," I pleaded, "don't go."

Tears were now dripping down his cheeks in earnest, disappearing as they fell. _Why did it always have to end in tears?_

A low buzzing began in the back of my mind, and my lungs felt restricted.

"There's something else, isn't there?" I was sure that I looked a complete mess. Cool water soaked into my shoes and pants, and my waist-length hair fell around me, but I didn't care. "Something you're not telling me?" I held my shaking hands up around his face, occasionally brushing against the water, distorting the illusion, "Please, Asra."

Even like this, I could see his face was pale, purple eyes round. The low buzz transformed into a whining pitch, ringing in my ears. _Asra was always scared of me getting hurt. Even if it isn't the reason why he left, it's certainly why he didn't bring me along._

_Why he constantly left me at the shop._

_"Safe."_

_He wouldn't tell me what happened, would hardly -_ I gasped for air, wondering why it was suddenly so hard to breathe.

"Cassandra?" Asra's voice was faint, barely audible above the ringing.

The world spun around me, cold and tense and -

I couldn't breathe.

 _The pitying looks from Inas, the strange smiles from the older merchants, Asra's reluctance to tell me about Versuvia's past. The Red Plague._ Nadia's voice echoed in my head, _All were invited to the palace, to find a cure...the doctor accepted our invitation. As did your Master._

"Asra," I managed, feeling the stone floor of the pool hit my stinging knees. Water soaked into my garments, weighing me down further while my vision blurred. The pain in my chest was unbearable, and I could feel myself slipping.

Ice was slowly spreading through my veins, making it difficult to focus.

"Cassandra! Damnit, Cass, please!" Asra's panicked voice repeated my name, over and over.

_The Red Plague._

_Think, Cassandra, and remember._

"I-I can't." I cried, "I can't."

My hands looked foreign, blurring under the churning water. _Not my hands._

"-ndra, please, look at me." I managed to pull my mangled vision up, towards the intangible magician. "Cass." Asra murmured, thick tears running down his face, "I'm so sorry."

I cried out when another wave of pain and ice radiated from my chest.

 _Not my hands._ _Not my heart._ _Not -_ "I was reckless," Translucent hands hovered over my trembling shoulders, "I shouldn't have tried. You need to forget."

_Forget?_

I fell backwards, scraping my palms against the stone. My back hit the ledge.

"No, no," I sobbed, wishing for the burning to end. _Please, make it stop._

"Don't...want..to forget." I gasped. _I need to know. Please, I don't want to forget._

Soft lips pressed against my forehead - _not my forehead, my mind, somehow my mind_ \- and someone whispered, "Forget Cassandra."

"No," I choked, shaking my head...

 _But it was too late_.

The icy grip lessened, pain fading as fresh air burst through my lungs. Magic - _not mine, not my magic_ \- ran through my veins, a comforting warmth. Everything was foggy, clouded...The name on my lips vanished, along with everything else.

...

When I opened my eyes, I was sitting in the pool.

My clothes stuck to my skin, water-logged and uncomfortably heavy. Wincing, I rose from the water. _My back hurt. What had I been doing?_

I felt slightly dizzy when I stepped onto the grass, but aside from that...I felt fine.

I glanced at the water. _Asra left. Must've overused my magic._ _What had we been talking about?_

Exhaustion distracted me, forcing a wide yawn from my lips.

_Nothing important, then._

I wiped at my face, staring at the moisture on my fingertips. _Had I dunked my face in the water as well? Fallen in?_ Although I was alone in the garden, my face burst into embarrassed heat.

The small snake crawled up to my shoulders, tongue flicking at my cheeks. _Concern._

"It'll be alright, Faust." I smiled, stroking her smooth scales, "We'll see him again soon." I wasn't sure why the ache of longing in my chest was so strong.

_Asra would return, eventually. He always did._

Briefly, just as I fell asleep, I wondered why there was a letter on the windowsill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends the Prologue, Books 1 through 6 of the Arcana...What's next? Who will you choose?
> 
> I'm thinking our favorite thespian or maybe the man with half a heart? Poor Asra...Let me know in the comments below! <3


	16. Julian, Book 7: The Lovers, Red in the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who we're following first? ;)

" _Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure_."

― Famous Author

My curiosity had brought me to a strange number of places.

Surprisingly well-lit taverns and symmetrical castles, drinks made of sugar and spice. Delicacies light as air, bottomless barrels, and freshly spilled fruit. I walked the fine line between fear and courage, teetering back and forth. The taut leash of uncertainty, wrapped carelessly around my neck. Through the fog, I followed on the heels of an unknown entity, a wonderful sort of mystery, wrapped in a bright smile and stormy eyes...And then, I woke up.

The flutter of wings startled me from my impromptu nap, and my neck ached in protest at the sudden movement. Once I had wiped the evidence of sleep away - including a piece of parchment that clung to my cheek - I took in my surroundings.

The desk before me was covered in books and scattered papers. Afternoon light filtered through the stained glass window, warming the very air. _That's right, I had the day to myself._

My fingers brushed over Julian's scribbles and various, explicit drawings of human anatomy _...Interesting way to cure a disease._ A slim tome caught my attention, and I gingerly plucked it from the pile. _For the Countess...for Nadia's headaches. The reason I was left to my own devices._

The intensity of Portia's unspoken concern that morning had inspired a brief search. _Not that it was very helpful._ While I had recommended lemon balm or vanilla to Portia, the remedies would only serve to reduce the tension from Nadia's migraines, not erase them completely. I silently suspected her nightly dreams, or premonitions as she sometimes referred to them, were the cause. _Julian's work was useless for curing headaches, as it was focused primarily on the plague._ I dropped the book onto the desk, watching the dust swirl in elegant loops.

Another glance at the papers revealed the progress I had made….which was to say, nothing.

_No trace of Julian's energy, no information about what really happened that night._

"Oh, come on!" Jerking in surprise, my hand accidentally swept a number of scrolls onto the floor. "I really need to get in there!"

Portia's voice was unmistakable.

I moved closer to the window, my task temporarily abandoned. _Was she having an argument?_ A flock of birds disappeared into the maze below, with no sign of the trademark ginger curls. Sighing, I returned the fallen scrolls to the desk.

Another squawk of indignation came from the window. _Was...was she okay?_

Decision made, I quickly slipped out of the library, the jeweled door shuttering to a close.

"Please?" Portia was begging, "You're really trying my patience here." A third squawk echoed from somewhere in front of me. By this point, I had a decent understanding of the maze, though my knowledge was limited to the area by the fountain... _Why did it feel like I was forgetting something?_

"How dare you?" Someone shrieked, "Don't you know who I am?" _By the stars, who was that? And so far into the gardens, as well._ Using the noise as my guide, I twisted past various sections of the garden, including a small clearing filled with marble statues. To my left, the white wall rose well above my head. Despite the afternoon heat, the stone was cool beneath my palm. Spotting the familiar stained-glass, I ducked through a thin door of vines.

_Getting warmer._

"Yes, yes, I know." I heard Portia sigh, "I swear to everything above that if you don't move, I'll have roast cockatoo for dinner!"

Carefully weaving past gnarled branches, I stepped into a small clearing. "That's it, Pepi, get 'em!" Portia's voice was clearer than ever.

Instead of exotic plants or statues, the clearing was filled with fruits and vegetables. The air was perfumed by assorted flowers, bright shocks of color across the never-ending greenery. In the middle of it all stood a cozy cottage, vines crawling up the sandy stone and tiled roof.

My eyes immediately found the source of the commotion; Portia stood beside a small shed, a pale cat stretching from her shoulder to bat at something. _A large, white bird_.

One well-aimed swipe from the cat, and the cockatoo rose into the air with an indignant squawk. It's wing clipped Portia's head as it flew towards the palace, clicking and muttering, "They'll never survive without me!"

_Huh, odd. Who was it mimicking? Certainly not Nadia._

"Oh, Pepi, that awful bird, he makes me so mad!" Portia huffed in frustration, stroking the cat's head.

Awkwardly, I coughed into my hand.

"Oh, Cassandra!" Finally noticing my presence, Portia's eyes widened, and she quickly lowered the cat to the ground. "Um, fancy seeing you here…" Smoothing out her apron, she nimbly stepped over a row of squashes, "I'm surprised you managed to find this place, it's a little off the beaten path."

"A little bit." I agreed, returning the warm smile. _Regardless of the circumstance, Portia always made me feel...welcome. Comfortable._ I was grateful for the woman's consistency. Eyes falling onto the small hut behind her, I asked, "So, where are we?"

Portia chuckled, "How rude of me." One arm swept to the side dramatically, a familiar grin plastering her lips. "Welcome," She loudly announced, "to Casa de Portia! My own little oasis on the palace grounds."

... _I could see the family resemblance._

"You have an impressive garden," I commented, carefully maneuvering around a patch of marigolds. Everywhere I stepped, there was some sort of plant blooming. "Why thank you!" The ginger woman chirped, pleased, "It's my pride and joy. Aside from Pepi, that is." As if on command, the Siamese cat curled around her exposed ankles. She bent down to pet the creature, cooing, "Isn't that right, Pepi?"

When she glanced up again, her cheeks were pink. "Anyways, watch out for the graspgourds." I followed her gaze to my feet, where curious vines slithered closer, "They're feisty, today. Why don't you take a seat over there? It must've been a walk to get here." She nodded in the direction of a bench, carved from a massive log.

"Are you sure it's okay if I stay?" I hesitated, biting my lip. _The last thing I wanted to do was intrude on her free time._ She instantly waved off my concern, smiling, "Of course, take a seat!"

"If you insist." I replied, amused by her enthusiasm.

I hadn't noticed it before, but a small trail of stones had been made to cut through the overflowing garden. The rocks were warm, even through the soles of my sandals, heated by the sun overhead. "You don't mind me working while we talk, do you?" She scooped up a rake, "Got a lot of work in the garden today."

 _Oh, I_ had _interrupted her working. Or trying to._

A flash of guilt went through me. "Can I help?" As I moved closer, I glanced down at my feet to ensure I wouldn't crush her hard work.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly ask that of you." Portia's brows furrowed, shaking her head, "I'll be fine, Cassandra. Go ahead and sit."

Mirroring the gesture, it was easy to match the woman in stubbornness. "Well, it's a good thing you're not asking. What can I do?" Hands planted on my hips, I tried not to squint under the bright rays.

The woman studied me for a moment before grinning slowly. "Fine," Even whilst sighing, Portia's grin remained fixed on her face, "You can help me remove the quackgrass...but it won't be easy." She handed me the rake, "The roots are notoriously hard to get out."

For some time, we worked quietly.

The scrape of our tools was the only interruption from the peace that had seemingly dropped over the clearing. Birds chirped happily in the distance, the faint sound of running water coming from somewhere nearby. The rather adorable cat, Pepi, was resting in the crook of the wooden bench. Even with the sweltering heat, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the manual labor. It required little thought or debate, no moral questions about innocence or guilt, no musings about a forbidden past or mysterious strangers.

Here, it was just us and nature. Just dirt and weeds and the sweet perfume of lavender and sweat.

Bending over to tug an especially obstinate root, I glanced over at Portia. Wiping her forehead, the color in her cheeks was likely from the heat and labor. Freckles were barely visible underneath the reddened skin. _Julian didn't have freckles, did he?_

Our eyes locked, and I quickly turned my focus back to the grass. "Thank you for helping." Her voice was calm, infected by the same sense of tranquility, "You really didn't need to."

"I don't mind," I answered honestly, smiling victorious as the train of roots came free. _Ah-ha!_ Shaking the plant in the air, I commented, "It's strangely cathartic. Ripping weeds from the ground and the like."

"It is, isn't it?" She hummed in agreement.

Something smooth wrapped around my ankle, and I automatically pulled away. The graspgourds had been trying to 'explore' all afternoon. _Never thought of plants having much of a personality, but they were definitely curious. The quackgrass, on the other hand..._ Sighing, I stared at the recognizable weed dotting the garden.

"Are you alright?" Porta leaned back on her heels, staring up at me in concern. "Huh?" I answered intelligently, then added, "Oh, I'm fine."

My eyes fell onto a small plant beside her with familiar serrated leaves. _Lemon balm._ "Portia," I kneeled in a cleared area to grab the next weed.

"Yes?" Without looking up, the russet-haired woman tugged at her own leafy trespasser. "How is the Countess doing?"

Portia stilled, releasing the stem to give me a long, searching look. I shifted uncomfortably until she finally nodded, "I think she'll be alright." The corner of her lips rose, "Honestly, Cassandra, things were getting a little rough before you showed up."

 _Me? I doubted the herbal recommendation was that influential._ "I'm glad millady chose to visit your shop." _Oh._

Bright blue eyes met green, "I think you could be just what we need."

"You might be giving me too much credit." I laughed nervously, resisting the urge to duck behind the nearby delphiniums.

_I was charged to have her brother killed. Hung from the gallows._

Hoping to change the focus of the conversation, I leaned closer to the freckled woman.

"So, Julian's your brother, huh?" I fought to keep my amusement hidden when she froze, almost comically so. "I admit," I shrugged, a smirk worming its way onto my lips, "I feel like I should've pieced it together before now."

_Even without Julian's confession, her reaction confirmed it. Portia and Julian were siblings._

"About the scene at the shop," It was funny seeing the normally confident woman act so flustered, "I was just...surprised to see him there." I thought back to their reunion, the naked hurt and shock on their faces. _Julian implied that he hadn't seen her in years._ "I was, too." We chuckled, falling quiet once more. Near the cottage, Pepi stretched leisurely across the bench.

"He's got a real flair for the dramatic, Ilya." Portia shook her head, smiling, "I'm glad to see that hasn't changed." Remembering my own interactions with the exuberant doctor - from the initial break-in to the...impromptu pat-down - I couldn't help but agree.

_Dramatic was one word for it._

Her face fell, no doubt thinking of the years spent away from her family.

_Did I have siblings, too, somewhere? Parents? If so, why wouldn't Asra have told me by now?_

Shaking off the maudlin thought, I tried to lighten the mood. "It must run in the family." I copied Portia's wink, though the motion felt awkward and forced.

Regardless, Portia reared backwards, placing a hand on her chest. "Me? Dramatic?" She cried, lips twitching, "Why, Cassandra, how dare you?" After a brief pause, we burst into fresh laughter. "I learned from the best." Portia wiped her forehead, smearing flecks of dirt across the pale skin.

In a soft voice - one I surely wasn't meant to hear - she murmured, "Ilya taught me everything I know."

Before I could so much as frown in her direction, the curly-haired woman waved a hand in the air, as if to ward off the nostalgia. "Are you thirsty? I'll get some water for us."

Without waiting for a response, Portia pushed herself to her feet, "It's important to hydrate!" The water was deliciously cool against my dry lips. I hadn't realized how parched I was until she returned with two, tall glasses.

"Soo," With a determined smile, I felt her gaze linger, "I didn't realize you two knew each other." _Trying to turn the tables, huh?_ I shrugged, taking another sip.

She shot me a mischievous wink, "Did that happen before or after millady hired you?"

_Oh._

Coughing, I lowered the glass.

"Don't go dying on me, now." Portia laughed at my reaction, a surprisingly strong hand patting my back. After I recovered, I wiped the remaining droplets from my lips.

"I met Julian the same night Nadia visited the shop." Blue eyes studied me curiously, "He arrived shortly after she left. Wanted to see Asra about something." I recalled the glassy eyes of the mask, the piercing and intimidating stare from the unexpected intruder.

 _Not so intimidating now._ The relaxed man in the tavern had been a stark contrast to the towering doctor I initially met.

Portia hummed thoughtfully, draining her glass.

Leaving the cup on the ground beside her, she said, "That sure sounds like my brother. But why didn't you tell millady?"

_That was the million-ruble question, wasn't it?_

Coming from anyone else, the question might've been an accusation. Portia's expression, however, was not unkind. _Quite the opposite._

Rubbing at a spot of dirt on my forearm, I sighed, "I..I don't know. It's not that I distrust the Countess."

_I didn't completely trust her yet either, though I wanted to._

"I guess...I didn't want to condemn him with incomplete information." Julian's laughter rang in my ears.

"If it's my word that knots the hangman's noose...How can I send a man to death before I've investigated his innocence?"

Suddenly, the ground was much more interesting. My heart pounded a slow rhythm in my ears, the faintest of twisting in my gut.

_I had a job to do. I wasn't here because the Countess enjoyed my company or because Portia needed help gardening._

"I'm happy to hear you say that, Cassandra."

The relief in Portia's voice helped to ease the nausea. She looked tired when I risked a glance up, shoulders slumped. "I don't know what mess Ilya's got himself into, but if he has you in his corner," Our eyes met again, "I get the feeling that everything will work out in the end."

 _By the stars..._ "Portia." I swallowed, gripping the glass in both hands.

_She had so much faith in me. Her brother's life was at risk, and she...she was trusting me, with it._

_With him._

Throat tight with emotion, I found it difficult to speak. Even so, I managed two words, "Thank you."

"No, thank you." She smiled softly, glowing in the warm light. "That's what I'm here for, anyways. Pep talks and expert gardening skills." Portia shrugged, holding her hand out. Wordlessly, I dropped the empty cup into her expectant palm.

Rising to her feet, glasses in hand, she peered upwards, "Oh my, it's getting pretty late, huh?"

The polite implication was clear. _She needed to return to work._ It was well past noon, now. Late light dappled the clearing between gentle shadows, dancing across her features. I stood silently.

"I'd better get back to work," Portia smiled again, "but I'm glad you came to talk to me. I knew we'd be friends eventually." The cat, Pepi, suddenly appeared by her ankle. Her smile brightened as she laughed, "And Pepi, too, of course."

With the sun at my back, I weaved through the garden.

Even with Portia's expectations weighing on my shoulders, I felt more at ease. _The trials ahead felt less insurmountable, mysteries less dark and imposing._

I took my time, moving through the underbrush. _I had the rest of the day to myself._ The maze disappeared behind me, blocking my view of the palace walls. I move thoughtlessly over rocks and shrubbery, mind wandering to somewhere much further.

 _How could I confirm Julian's innocence? It'd been years since the murder took place, and visiting the scene of the crime was an experience that I was_ not _willing to repeat._ I shuddered, rubbing goosebumps from my exposed arms.

_Why was it suddenly so cool outside?_

A quick glance up revealed that the sky had indeed darkened. _That was...strange. It was too soon to be evening._

My feet continued through the shadows, as if possessed. Dread settled into the pit of my stomach.

Soon, thick foliage opened to a rolling field of gold. I forced myself to pause, but the weird feeling was already gone. _What had that been?_

The area was open and quiet, the only sounds coming from the serpentine stream towards the edge of the field. In the distance, the golden grass turned into another forest, towering with ancient trees and - With a muted gasp, my head jerked back to the stream.

_Red._

The color finally registered as the dread shifted uneasily. _There was no mistaking it. The water...was red._

Crimson stains leaked across the grass around the brook like spilled blood.

At first, my body tensed, eyes wide. _Ready to run away._

Slowly, however, I forced myself to remain, lingering at the edge of the field.

Once the panic eased, my curiosity returned. _Where was it coming from? It couldn't actually be blood, right?_ With trepidation, I walked closer to examine the water. _The wrong viscosity for blood. Maybe Julian's books hadn't been completely useless, after all._ It was still water, just...stained a horrifying shade of red. The brook should've been fairly shallow, but it was nigh impossible to make out anything past the grim color.

 _Was someone poisoning the water? How had this not been noticed yet? Unless..._ I highly doubted the Countess knew, but it _was_ coming from the palace, albeit a seemingly forgotten corner.

_The palace grounds were massive, it was unlikely that she knew about everything going on here._

My stomach turned again. _The area probably wasn't patrolled often, for it to have been polluted like this._

Where the stream met the palace was best described as, well, dead. Rotting trees hunched over the water, the once-golden grass black and decaying.

 _It was a pocket of darkness in a colorful garden_.

With a careful breath, I resolved to follow the stream to its end.

_What exactly had I just stumbled upon?_

The dirt beneath my sandals eventually transitioned into lemonstone, rising from the ground into one of the city's familiar features. _The aqueducts...the source of water for the city's inhabitants._

The sky above me gradually changed, this time with the natural fading of sunlight. In a few hours time, night would fall. Balanced on the structure, Versuvia was laid out before me, chaotic and vibrant.

Clustered buildings leaned on one another, lamplight filtering through small windows. Smoke from active chimneys rose into the air, dancing and intertwining like lovers.

I stepped carefully over a damp stone, glancing at the - I stumbled, catching myself in time to glare at the raven that swooped over my head, cawing loudly. _What was it with ravens?_ I tensed when the bird landed on my shoulder, sharp talons digging into the thin fabric.

"Um, hello." It felt incredibly silly to talk to an animal, but I didn't particularly care.

Its beak opened as if to scream but instead nibbled on the collar of my shirt, gleaming black eyes watching me warily. In fact, it appeared to be on high alert, even whilst resting on my shoulder. Dark feathers remained ruffled, each movement quick and uneasy.

I raised my hands around my face when something startled the raven. Quietly, I followed the soaring bird towards the city, wondering if it was the same one from the tavern.

By the time I reached the outskirts of Versuvia, I knew two things; one, the crimson poison was feeding directly into the city's water supply, and two...my feet ached something terrible.

Wincing, I paused to massage the sore appendages, already regretting the choice to wear the light shoes. _I hadn't exactly planned on hiking today_ …

"Cassandra?" Whipping around abruptly, I felt gloved hands wrap around my forearms to keep me from slipping.

Face half-cast in shadows, standing on the aqueduct with me was none other than Doctor Julian Devorak.

_Portia's older brother. The man I kept bumping into, in every sense of the word. The man whose innocence...or guilt...I had to prove._

"Julian," I exclaimed in surprise, watching the man retreat into partial shadow.

There was something odd about his demeanor. "Cassandra." My eyes dropped to the mask in his hands, rotating slowly as if he was unsure of what to do with it. "Out for a night walk?" The doctor sighed, staring down into the aqueduct.

This close to the reservoir, the red of his cloak intermingled with the red from the water, casting an ominous light against his sharp features.

"Something like that," I grimaced, following his gaze.

_I still couldn't believe it was poisoned. Who knew how many people were already suffering? Or...or had died?_

"What're you doing here, Julian?"

"Me?" He responded quietly, "Just thinking." Pausing, Julian added, "Funny, fickle thing, life...isn't it?"

_Something was definitely off._

It was unnerving, seeing the dramatic and flirtatious doctor reduced to the contemplative, mournful man before me. In lieu of responding - I knew he wasn't looking for an actual answer - I stepped closer.

The city towered over us like a behemoth, dark buildings stacked against one another. With the sun gone, the only sources of light came from the open windows and the occasional lamp.

"Should you be standing so close to the reservoir?" I asked instead, forced to look up in order to meet his gaze.

 _He was so much taller…_ "What, this reservoir?" A half-smile lifted his lips, "It's harmless, Cassandra, harmless as it can be."

"It is?" I frowned.

"Won't do anything." He shrugged, "Sure, a few people might get sick if they go for a swim, but…" _That's a relief. Not poison, then..._

The smile fell, replaced by a look of concentration, "Isn't it a miracle?" _He wasn't referring to the water, right?_ "They went and figured it out, or outlasted it." His tone was borderline reverent, whispering, "How did they do it?"

_The cure for the plague. Of course._

Julian frowned, "It doesn't matter, I suppose. Life finds a way. The plague is over." His visible eye studied the mask in his hands. I resisted the temptation to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, something akin to pity swelling in my chest.

"So is my career," The doctor laughed quietly, unamused, "just like that. Who needs a plague doctor without a plague?"

"Julian, are you -" The towering man grinned suddenly, cutting me off, "It's like a Count with no city! Or barkeep with no drinks...So here I am!"

I ducked under the flourish of arms, stepping away to keep from being knocked into the water. _It was slippery near the aqueducts._

"Time to throw away the last piece of the past I can't reclaim." A stray curl fell into his face, obscuring his good eye. "Pity, isn't it? Oh, well."

With that, Julian tossed the mask into the reservoir.

Pale shapes slithered around the fallen, beak-like mask, reminding me of my first visit to the palace. Above our heads, the familiar caw of the raven returned, uncomfortably loud. _Ah, there he was._ "Julian -" I tried, but was interrupted a second time. "Look lively, Cassandra," He suddenly whipped around to face me, grabbing one of my hands. His visible eye was filled with a frenzied sort of light. "Guards afoot."

_Guards? Here?_

The raven gave another ragged screech, piercing the air like a siren.

Footsteps echoed behind us, setting off the thundering in my chest. Slicking his hair back with his free hand, the plague-doctor-without-a-plague shot one last grin down at me before taking off in a sprint... _while still holding onto me._

"Ju-Julian, wait! Slow down!"

His hand was loose around my wrist, and I was barely able to keep up with his long strides.

 _At this rate._..

Wings fluttered around my head, nearly brushing my face as we ran towards the street. "No time to wait, Cassandra!" Just as his head twisted in my direction, a twinge of pain ran up my ankle.

_Not the right shoes for an escape._

My ankle rolled beneath me, the world spinning; the last thing I saw was Julian's horrified expression before I fell into the murky water below.


	17. Julian, Book 7: The Lovers, A Gift and a Curse

If the impact hadn't knocked my breath away, the freezing temperature certainly would have.

I made the mistake of gasping underwater, choking as the cold liquid forced its way down my throat. My legs kicked fruitlessly in the pursuit of air.

Something sleek and very much alive brushed against me. At that moment, I remembered too late.

_The vampire eels were attracted to movement. Well...bon appétit._

My head broke the surface just as pain raced through my body; one of the eels had latched itself onto my side, teeth sharp and grip unrelenting.

Lungs aching with the effort, my flailing foot made satisfying contact with another hungry creature. As I broke the surface, spluttering and coughing, it was impossible to make out my surroundings. _Was someone calling my name?_

Without realizing I had even raised them, something was tightly holding my wrists and hauling me upwards.

The world spun again, a dizzying display of shadow and light.

During my desperate attempts to breathe - _fresh air never tasted so sweet_ \- I coughed up the remaining water, crimson liquid running down my chin and front. "-andra. There you go." A smooth voice whispered near my ear, drowning out the high-pitched ringing.

Something, or someone, was supporting my weight while I leaned against them, but...the eel was still attached.

Out of the water, its weight seemed to drag my body towards the wet cobblestone, releasing new waves of pain. The undulating creature was indeed translucent, and I nearly threw up then and there.

_I could see blood moving through its innards._

_My blood._

A gleaming gloved hand wrapped around the feasting animal's neck, and the voice said, "On the count of three. One, two -"

I heard myself gasp, vision temporarily reduced to monochrome flashes. Something heavy splashed into the water. _Ouch._

"Easy now." The sonorous voice was a comforting presence, "I've got you."

Once I was able to see again - _able to breathe, just barely_ \- I was greeted by a mop of auburn curls. _Julian._

"Can you stand?" The voice, Julian's voice, murmured. Blearily, I tried to nod, but only succeeded in almost dragging us both to the ground.

_Okaaay, maybe not._

Thankfully, strong arms recovered our balance. "Right," Julian said, "Foolish question."

With the doctor half-dragging my sopping wet self, we gradually made our way down the darkened street.

Numbly, I watched my blood stain each puddle.

_At least it didn't hurt anymore._

My soaked sandal slipped against a particularly wet stone, and I winced at the sudden movement. _Nevermind._

Blinking, I found that our surroundings had changed. _Whoa._ More than that, I wondered when the world would stop tilting, back and forth and over again. The nausea in my stomach seemed to follow its movement, and I prayed that I wouldn't get sick. _Not here, not now._

Julian's gentle but firm grip guided me to a narrow alley, wet clothes sticking to skin. When his hands tightened, the world stopped spinning.

The grey-eyed man hummed thoughtfully, "You know…" Sturdy hands helped me to the ground, red and black cloth cushioning my head. _His coat..?_ After I had adjusted to the change, it was...actually kind of nice _._ My vision was no longer swimming, and I could feel the solid ground beneath me.

"Let me see that bite." Julian sounded uncharacteristically serious. _And looked it, too._

Laughter bubbled up my aching throat as one of his hands prodded at my abdomen. "M'fine." The sentence was stuck behind my teeth, coming out in a gargled giggle.

_The doctor playing doctor._

Gloved hands gingerly lifted the ruined garments from my side, practiced hands working around the wound.

_I supposed it wasn't playing doctor since he really was one…_

Julian murmured something too quiet for me to hear, so I resigned myself to study the night sky. _Ooh, stars. That was nice._

_Wait, how did it get so late?_

"Damn," Said doctor appeared less than pleased, even in the dim lamplight. "The bleeding won't stop."

Leaning back onto his knees, the man immediately began to peel off his long, black gloves. _How was it that I'd seen most of his chest before his hands?_ My hazy vision focused on the pale shock of skin and long, nimble fingers.

_That mark._

I sucked in a breath, nearly causing my eyes to flutter shut at the sharp contraction. _Yes, it definitely still hurt._

The back of his right hand was exposed, revealing the murderer's brand, stark and irreversible. I followed the heart-shaped brand to his wrist, where the dark ink formed a sharp arrow.

"Stay still, Cassandra." The other, bare hand pressed against the open wound.

"Julen," I slurred, frowning when the word didn't come out right. He smiled briefly, "Don't move. This will only take a minute or two." His unmarred hand gently cradled my head, allowing me to study the doctor. _What was he doing?_

Somehow, the pain had already begun to ebb. _Whatever he was doing...it was working._ I struggled to keep my eyes open, relishing the soft brush of his fingers against my cheek. A stray curl fell over his eyepatch.

Now that I was stationary, I could feel my own hair clinging to my face and shoulders. _I likely resembled a drowned cat..._ Julian was focused, expression intense and unsmiling.

 _It was funny,_ I thought drowsily, _His straight nose, sharp cheekbones and jawline, the bags under his eyes, even the distinct Cupid's Bow...The features should contradict one another, and yet, seemed to work together flawlessly...So not fair._

Pressure increased along my stomach, but I ignored it in favor of studying the mystery that was Julian Devorak.

_My head was beginning to clear, the fog lifting._

"Julian," I managed to say his name properly, cheering internally. His stormy gaze turned to my face. I felt my lips curve upwards, "We have to stop meeting like this." He paused, then burst into a bark of surprised laughter.

"If you're well enough to joke, you're well enough to sit." Julian chuckled, slowly helping me to a sitting position against the alley wall. A bare hand, cold as ice, was placed briefly against my forehead. _Doctor Devorak._ "At least you didn't catch me breaking and entering this time."

"That's because you don't have the key anymore." I leaned my head against the alley, closing my eyes, "Otherwise, who knows?"

"That's true." The doctor laughed again, falling quiet when the sound of metallic armor and footsteps was audible.

_The guards. I'd nearly forgotten about them._

"We can't stay here much longer." He murmured. There was a beat of silence, then he said, "I'll admit, I was surprised to see you in the neighborhood." Without bothering to move - my eyelids were heavy with exhaustion, and it was dark in the alley - I blindly replied, "I do live here, as you well know." There was a muted rustle, and Julian responded, "Still. You've got some kind of luck." The regret in his tone finally prompted me to open my eyes.

As I did, my gaze was immediately drawn to his throat, the next quip forgotten. "Julian," I breathed in shock.

A glowing, clearly magical, circle was placed carefully on the smooth expanse of his throat.

 _Wait, why did it look so familiar?_ The design was something I'd definitely seen before - elegant lines forming smaller patterns within the circle - though I struggled to remember where.

Noticing my reaction, Julian leaned backwards, hand running through his hair. A shadow passed over his face. "Ah, do you recognize your master's handiwork?" _That was from Asra…?_

For a moment, the doctor curled into himself, a rush of emotions crossing his face. _The bitterness of regret and nostalgia in his aura, marred by an undercurrent of...guilt? Anger? No, frustration._ The marked hand fell to his side, wrapping around his stomach.

With equal parts fascination and horror, I watched fresh blood - crimson against the white linen shirt - blossom beneath his palm. _It was in the same area..._ My hand automatically went to my own wound, where I found...nothing.

Nothing but ripped cloth and bare, undamaged skin. _Not even a scar._ I straightened, realizing the pain and dizziness were completely gone.

"This," He clenched his teeth, then continued to explain, "was his parting gift to me. A curse."

I swallowed, eyes wide. _I knew Asra didn't think highly of the doctor but ..._ "A curse from a witch who fears commitment." The bitterness grew clearer, and I wondered if the metallic taste on my lips was from the stained water. "Best part is," Julian panted, free hand planted on the damp stone, "I get to experience the injuries or sickness for myself." He winced, features crumpling in pain.

I immediately shot forwards when he swayed in place, supporting the sudden weight of his body. Even with my mind racing - _Asra had cursed someone? Not only that, he had cursed Julian, why?_ \- I was taken aback by the anger that swelled in my breast. "You shouldn't have done that," I chastised, frowning as his body trembled.

"It won't last," He responded, muffled against my shoulder, "It never does." A shiver ran up my spine when his breath danced along the nape of my neck.

Holding onto the man tighter, I whispered a quick warming spell. The very air around us grew hotter, a blessed relief from the chilly night. _We couldn't stay in wet clothes._

Julian shivered, then tried to pull away, "Never been bitten by a vampire eel before. This might be interesting." _He seemed to have purposefully activated this "curse" from Asra...He had willingly taken on the pain, the wound and blood loss. Even with accelerated healing, why…?_

_I was nobody, just an apprentice in the right places at the right time._

_Regardless, Julian had always been kind, if not a bit dramatic._

I thought of the little interactions we'd had since that first night, from pulling me out of the barrel to carrying me out of the tavern. _To safety._ _Why?_

Using one hand to support his weakened figure, I used the other to softly cup his cheek. "You kind of saved my life, tonight." A small smile played on my lips. _I didn't know if I would have truly bled out on the street, but he had gone out of his way to help me. To take the pain for himself._

I was suddenly reminded of Portia's comment. _Maybe it was I who had Julian in my corner, instead._

"Thank you."

Ignoring my own cacophony of emotions, I pushed as much sincerity into the two words as possible. Julian blinked owlishly, cheeks darkening under the lamplight as he straightened. _Even his neck and ears turned pink. It was...kind of cute. Had he really not expected it?_

His marked hand ruffled his mess of curls, nearly catching on a stray knot. _He did that when he was nervous._ "Don't mention it." Julian's grey eye refused to meet my amused gaze, "I'm just glad you're alright."

Before I could respond, the man rose to his feet, reminding me of just how much taller he was. _So not fair._ With the starlight framing his figure, I took the outstretched hand.

Once more, the raven's warning echoed through the backstreets. _If I never saw that bird again, it'd be too soon._

Julian leapt into action, dragging me further into the shadows.

My back hit the brick wall as his hands fell on either side, boxing me into the dark corner of the alley. A vaguely familiar voice yelled, and water splashed under heavy boots.

Two figures darted past the alley, followed by another three. _By the stars, how many guards were out tonight?_

Julian's body was tense under my hands, which were now splayed across his broad chest.

Sharply aware of our new position, I quickly pulled my hands back, slamming an elbow against the brick in my haste.

I hissed at the sudden jolt of pain, freezing when a warm, calloused hand covered my mouth. Without turning his gaze away from the entrance, Julian shushed me.

_He shushed me!_

Scowling beneath the hand, I resisted the temptation to lick his palm. _It would be both childish_ and _incredibly unsanitary._

Instead, we remained there, still and hyperaware, for some time. _Felt like longer than it actually was._

Blood rushed through my ears, matching the thrumming pace set in my chest. Whether it was from our proximity or the spell, my skin felt deliriously hot compared to the cool night air.

Part of me still marveled over the strange healing magic... _if you could call it that._ At the reminder, my eyes dipped to his stomach.

Even in the dark, it was easy to see where the blood seeped through cloth. Although it didn't appear to be spreading, the shirt clung to the smaller indents where the creature's teeth had sunk.

 _Why would he help me? I was technically aligned with the guards more than the doctor, but..._ Given our current position, I could understand how that wasn't very convincing.

_Ever since I met him, all I'd done was go along with his silly plans, following him ever deeper into the night._

_How far would I go, to chase after the mystery and adventure? After him?_

Studying his serious complexion, I silently resolved, more than ever, to find evidence of his innocence.

_Murderer's brand or not, Julian Devorak wasn't a killer...I had to believe that._

I swallowed, wondering how I'd gotten myself in this deep.

 _What if he wasn't innocent?_ A voice that sounded suspiciously like Asra's whispered, _What if Julian Devorak killed the Count? What then?_

Julian's gaze drifted towards me, grey locking with green.

Unable to look away, I tried to focus on breathing evenly and quietly. My eyes were drawn south when his lips parted, a single word escaping, "Cassandra…" I wondered how the simple action set the goosebumps on my arms to rise, and - A loud _thud_ from the street ruined the moment.

"Not the time." Julian sighed, creating space between us.

The consequential pang of disappointment was settled after his warm hand enveloped mine, "Let's go."

...

It was surprisingly easy to evade the guards without a gaping hole in my side.

Julian's grip was firm, clearly not allowing my hand to slip free again. We ducked around a corner, hearing the echoes of wooden windows slam shut. Lamps were blown out by invisible figures, darkening the streets further. _They were helping us..._

Somehow, even whilst running away from the very guards I was supposed to be helping, the experience was...exhilarating.

_The cool wind against my face, the stars blurring above us, the maze of a city towering around our heads. Running, hand in hand._

We passed an open doorway, dim light and a tantalizingly rich scent spilling into the empty street. My stomach rumbled mournfully, but we kept moving.

After I lost count of how many turns we'd taken, my attention was caught by a rusted metal gate. An old padlock and chain wrapped around the entrance, overgrown with dark vines and broad leaves. _A place to hide._

_If we could climb over...If._

Even with the adrenaline, the days' events were beginning to take their toll. My throat and feet ached, though it likely paled in comparison to Julian's current state of being. I called his name quietly, attempting to tug at his hand.

The move backfired, however, when his hand only sealed further around mine. _Okay, new plan._

Leaping over a puddle, I abruptly turned to run towards the abandoned garden.

I was nearly jerked backwards into the stumbling doctor before he caught on, moving with me. "Good idea," He panted, bending down at the edge of the gate. _What was he -_ I yelped in surprise when his fingers curled around my waist, easily hoisting me into the air.

Face burning, I used the momentum to clamber over. The split hem of my shirt must've caught onto the metal, for I heard the ripping of cloth as I clumsily fell forwards. Somehow, Julian climbed perfectly over the gate, landing on light feet with the grace of a cat. _Definitely not fair._

I pressed myself against the ground, the scent of damp soil around us as the bustle of guards passed.

_We made it._

When the footsteps grew faint once more, I allowed myself to rise. "We did it!" In my excitement, I whisper-shouted, allowing the doctor to help me brush off the remaining dirt.

"Ha! Look at this place," He beamed, gesturing to the overflowing garden around us, "That was some quick thinking, little bird."

Ignoring the strange nickname, I turned my gaze to our little hiding spot.

The garden had been left, it appeared, to fend for itself.

Long tendrils of dark green curled around every available surface, dressing pale marble statues and columns. Beneath our feet were masses of various shrubs and cracked stone tiles; I even recognized a few patches of the weed I'd spent the morning removing from Portia's garden. It took another moment, but I realized the source of light wasn't coming from above. _It was coming from_...I maneuvered carefully around a crumbled column, eyes widening.

The center of the garden was just as overgrown, a decently sized fountain masked in vines. Still water - _not red_ \- lingered in the stone basin. A blue glow lit the entire scene, and my eyes followed the light to an ancient tree. Covered in the same vines as everything else, brilliant flowers set a gentle glow over the area.

"Look like you've got a knack for discovering hidden beauty." Julian commented from somewhere over my shoulder. I heard the crunch of dried leaves as he picked his way towards me.

I warily eyed his pale complexion and sweat lingering above his brow. _I'd nearly forgotten, how selfish of me._

I herded the tall man over to a nearby bench, sweeping off the loose plants to make room. "Sit." I commanded, pushing down on his shoulders. He complied with little resistance, chuckling, "Alright, alright. I didn't realize you were so demanding." His grin grew wider, if possible. "I thought I was the doctor here?"

"I'm not the one losing blood right now." I snapped, instantly regretting the sharp tone.

Before my hand could make contact with the wound - _he's right, I wasn't a doctor but I had an obligation to help, or at least try_ \- Julian grabbed the outstretched limb, meeting my eyes. "I'll be fine, Cassandra." He whispered, quickly clearing his throat and releasing my wrist.

"Join me." The auburn-haired man patted the bench beside him, and I reluctantly lowered myself onto the cool marble.

_At least he was sitting._

_For now._

"I wonder," Julian mused out-loud, "how many parts of the city have fallen to neglect like this?"

I leaned back, torn between studying our surroundings and the injured man beside me. "Ah, look at this brute." He chuckled, nodding towards a mostly intact statue, "Hello there, handsome."

The half-man, half-bull might've been impressive after its original creation. Unfortunately, time had worn the statue down, chunks of the muscled arms and torso lying in the dirt.

"Dangerous looking creature, isn't it?" Grey met green, the slightest of smirks on his lips.

I shrugged noncommittally, responding, "I like a little danger." _Maybe a little too much._

"I shouldn't be surprised," Julian laughed softly, leaning back against the tree behind the bench. "It seems you're full of hidden depths, Cassandra."

 _I wondered what exactly that meant, or if it was even a good thing._ Another thought occurred to him, face falling. "Tell me," Julian murmured, keeping his eye on me, "Do you really mean it, though?" My brow furrowed, and he rushed onwards, "You're certainly brave, it's true, but do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

_There was something more to his question._

"Isn't the unknown what makes it exciting?" I tried to answer honestly, ignoring the subtle pounding against my ribcage.

_The cool wind against my face, the stars blurring above us, the maze of a city towering around our heads. Running, hand in hand._

"Oh, I wouldn't say that's the most exciting bit." He shook his head, the flirtatious demeanor returning.

_He must be feeling better. Or pretending to._

Leaning closer, I studied the wound, ignoring the heat of his confused gaze. "How's the bite?" I asked, frowning. It was difficult to tell from just peeking at it, especially with his shirt in the way.

 _I was way too close._ My face warmed, and I retreated to my original position on the bench.

"Worried about me, Cassandra?" This time, the smile was fond, retaining the teasing lilt, "You needn't be. It was just a little bite. Nothing I can't handle, see?"

In a familiar gesture, the man swept out an arm; I covered an inappropriate laugh when the momentum nearly swung his whole body off of the bench. Righting himself, Julian ran a hand across his flushed face, "I, erm, reflexes notwithstanding."

A single, stormy eye scanned my expression, no doubt reading the lingering concern.

_It was entirely possible that he was still bleeding out, and just trying to hide it. An impressive, albeit concerning, feat._

His hand fell onto the marble between us, lips curled upwards. "Really, Cassandra, I'm okay."

I paused, eyes narrowing. "You better not be lying to me." I couldn't help but feel like I was pouting, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I wouldn't dare." His eye crinkled into another smile. "Ah, hold still." Julian said, gaze drifting to something behind me. "It must've fallen." He muttered, reaching forwards. I immediately tensed.

 _Was it a bug? I swear by the stars if it was -_ My shoulders slumped in relief when the doctor slowly pulled back, revealing a single, glowing flower in his hand.

_Oh._

Up close, the flower was even more beautiful.

The vibrant blue from within each petal illuminated the space between us, casting a soft light against his features. Elongated petals waved as he slowly twirled the flower between his fingers. I reached for the vivid light, but Julian stopped, moving it closer to himself.

"Ah, ah, ah, be careful, Cassandra." Confused, I looked from the flower to the man holding it. "There's poison in the petals."

"Poison?" I echoed, tilting my head.

"This," His voice dropping into a low, intense whisper, "is a deadly starstand." I studied the shape of the petals, seeing the resemblance to their namesake.

"A single drop of poison distilled from this flower could kill a babe in its crib. It has killed tyrants and kings, the innocent and guilty." His eye locked onto mine, gleaming in excitement, "It could topple entire empires with a careless hand."

"It's a bit overkill, if you ask me." I added, smiling. Shrugging, I reached forwards to stroke one of the petals. _It was surprisingly soft, like velvet._ "If you wanted to kill me, Julian, you should've just let me bleed out." It was shockingly easy, feeling utterly nonchalant about the mention of my own death.

_Blame it on Julian's natural dramatics. Must be contagious._

"Do you still want it?" He offered the starstrand again, gazing eagerly into my eyes.

The question made me hesitate, as if it was much more than accepting a lone flower. Julian's face was closer than ever, beautifully lit by the magical flower's glow.

I swallowed, nodding. _Even so, my answer would be the same._

_What was I doing?_

"So," I cleared my throat lightly, "You said the poison has to be distilled. Doesn't that make it harmless to touch?"

We both knew the answer, but I needed something to focus on. _Something else._

Fingers brushing, I plucked the flower from his hand, raising to smell it.

I instantly lowered it, nose wrinkled. The flower's scent was an unpleasant contrast to its beauty, smelling of something rather acrid. _Like iron and sickness._ "Well," Julian rumbled, "I wouldn't eat it if I were you." "There goes your master plan to get rid of me." I sighed, dramatically tossing the flower to the ground.

Julian's hand darted out, catching the drifting blue plant in the nick of time. _Impressive reflexes._ Chuckling, he straightened. "Ah, but who's to say," Julian leaned closer, fingers brushing against the shell of my ear as he tucked the flower behind it, "that it's over?" His fingers ran softly down, following the curve of my neck to where the shirt hung against my collarbone.

"It sounds to me," My response escaped in a single breath, sounding almost rushed, "like you're not afraid of danger."

"Afraid of danger?" The familiarity of his responding grin was a strange relief, "Why, Cassandra, I live for it." His hand rested on the curve of my shoulder, "Positively enchanted by danger, I am." Glancing down, I quietly asked, "So, pain doesn't scare you either?"

Whether intentionally or not, his fingers briefly tightened against my skin. "Why should it?" Julian sounded relaxed, carefree, "In my line of work, you can't be afraid of a little pain. One might even say I have -" He wiggled his eyebrows dramatically, "- intimate knowledge of it."

I stared dryly at the doctor, resisting the smile that threatened to expose my amusement.

_How could he flirt so easily and openly? Like flipping a switch._

Still, it was his answer that bothered me. I leaned back, watching his marked hand fall to his lap. "Are you sure you're okay, Julian?" I bit my lip, nodding towards the dried blood around his abdomen, "Even if it did heal, you still lost a fair amount of blood."

_Or maybe we both had. I wasn't quite sure how the curse worked, but I would certainly learn._

"W-What?" This clearly wasn't the response he anticipated.

Julian studied me carefully, the flush of his cheeks darker under the flower's light.

"I'm perfectly fine, Cassandra." He seemed to reconsider, "No, no I'm better than fine." Julian smiled brilliantly, "I'm fantastic. After all…" His hand moved to cover mine, gaze lifting to the tree above us, "I'm here, in a beautiful garden with you."

Ridiculous as the flirtatious line was, it actually felt sincere. My face heated as a light breeze made its way through the clearing, rustling the leaves.

"Who wouldn't be delighted by such wonderful company?" Julian added, curls dancing across his forehead in the wind.

"Flirt." I shot back, the blow softened by the affection in my tone.

 _Affection? Cassandra..._ I mentally shook the warning away. _Wanted or not, I enjoyed being around him. It was...easy, with Julian. Maybe not easy - I was always on my toes, waiting for the next twist of events - but I didn't have to worry about not meeting expectations or trying to act like the person I used to be, the person I'd been with all of my memories intact._

I dropped my gaze to our hands in my lap. _With Julian, I could just...be._

The realization was, frankly, terrifying.

_No wonder why my heart was racing._

A surge of gratitude rushed through me, and I flipped my hand in his to squeeze it gently.

_Thank you._

I could feel the doctor's attention return to me, confused, "For what?" My head jerked up. _I had spoken out loud._

Julian moved to catch the flower, which had fallen with my sudden movement. As he tucked the flower back behind my ear, I tried to appear calmer than I felt. "You know," I replied, shrugging, "for healing the wound. I...I feel bad that you were hurt because of me."

_It was true, even if it wasn't what I'd been thanking him for._

"Trust me, Cassandra, better I hurt in your stead." I frowned at the blatant disregard for his own well-being, but Julian kept going, "Besides, you're much more fragile. I'm surprised the vampire eels were even interested."

My mouth dropped open, bursting into laughter at the unexpected jab. Before I could protest, his hand was - once again - covering my lips. I narrowed my eyes as he leaned forward, smirking. "Careful, Cassandra." He whispered, warm breath sweeping against my skin, "The guards will hear you."

_Guards? Oh, right._

Julian's visible eye bore into mine, grey meeting green.

The smirk was gone, replaced by an intense, almost magnetic expression. His hand brushed against my lips as it moved, drawing back to cup my face gently. _What...what was he doing? Why didn't I move? Why..._ His thumb swept against the skin slowly, effectively scattering my thoughts.

"Julian," I whispered, unsure as to what I would even say. _What was I doing?_ He moved closer, and I was vaguely aware of the flower slipping from my ear again. Or the heat of his breath against my face, the way his eye was slowly closing. _Were we…?_

Loud footsteps came from somewhere nearby, somewhere close. _No._

I opened my eyes, wondering when I had closed them. "Right on time," Julian muttered, scowling. As he abruptly stood, I took the brief moment to catch my breath, nearly reaching out to keep him from…. _from what?_

Terrified of the answer - _this whole night had been...something else, removed from reality or the weight of our responsibilities or…_ \- I wrapped my arms around myself, squeezing my eyes forcefully shut.

_Breathe, in and out. In, and out._

Something in my chest tightened at the sight of his black gloves.

Silent, I watched Julian throw on the overcoat next, buttoning up the jacket with nimble fingers. _Fingers that brushed against my lips, my face…_ I stood quickly, drawing the doctor's attention. _And his concern._

"Cassandra?" He studied my expression, lips pursed.

"Let's go before the guards arrive." I swallowed, pulling my gaze away to stride past the grey-eyed man. _Past the man I was responsible for protecting. For...for Portia. For the sake of truth...And that's it._

I'd never been good at lying or hiding my emotions. Asra had told me as such in the past. _You wear your heart on your sleeve._

Even the Countess had commented on it. _Ah, that eager face will be my undoing. And yours as well, if you do not learn to master it._

Even so, as we silently left the garden behind, I realized that I couldn't even convincingly lie to myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect a new chapter (at minimum) once per week! In the process of establishing a writing schedule...Wish me luck, folks.


	18. Julian, Book 7: The Lovers, Laying Low

The deeper into the city we went, the fewer stars we saw.

Thick rivulets of smoke drifted out of invisible chimneys, every window either boarded shut or closed. With my own thoughts racing, I allowed the doctor to lead the way.

"Aha!" Julian shot a grin back at me, moving towards a hut along the outskirts. I barely had time to notice the chickens wandering the small yard before we turned to... _an open window? Why weren't we going through the door? It was right there._

"In we go, Cassandra!" Julian declared, clamoring through the opening without hesitation. "Julian, wait-" My protests were muffled by an indignant yelp when gloved hands tugged me over the wooden ledge.

Something rattled as I barely avoided hitting my knee on the frame. _How he managed to climb in effortlessly was beyond me..._

Hauling me inside the hut, Julian helped to steady me. I sent a miffed glare in his direction, but he just glanced around the room. Following his example - and desperately ignoring the weight of his hands on my waist - I studied the space he'd pulled us into.

Above the window was a row of brass bells, humming from the flurry of activity. The hut appeared to be a single room, with a curtain blocking what I assumed to be the bedroom. Julian's hair brushed against the ceiling, showering dirt over his shoulders. Various jars and plants decorated any available shelf or counter, some ingredients recognizable.

I eyed what appeared to be dried valerian root and miniature bones. _From the chickens, hopefully._

"Mazelinka?" Julian called, "Sorry to drop in like this, it's the guards…" He frowned, glancing down at me before stepping towards a curtain in the back. "Mazelinka!"

The doctor sighed, "I guess she's not home." Silently, I wondered who Mazelinka was, and if she knew that Julian was back in Versuvia. _Had it been years for this woman, since she'd last seen him? Like Portia?_

I crossed my arms, choosing to ask the obvious question instead, "Did we just break in?"

"We did," The doctor shrugged, dropping the curtain he'd been checking behind, "but desperate times call for...for dubious measures.." Distracted, he crossed the room in three strides, "She seems to be out. Lucky us. She doesn't like it when I come through the window."

"I don't blame her." I remarked, watching a new thought occur to Julian, his visible eye widening in horror. _Oh no, what now?_

"The window…" He breathed, head whipping in the direction of the opening, "Did we step on the…?"

By the window was a small, crushed plant, yellow tendrils curling in our direction. Julian ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah, we stepped on the dragon's breath. Oh boy, I'm in for an earful."

"Poor dragon's breath." I commented, moving closer to brush my fingers across the plant's leaves, "If only there was a better way to enter, maybe something we could knock on."

I paused, surprised by the venom in my tone. _After all, it'd been my idea to sneak into the garden, wasn't this better? At least Julian knew whose place this was._

Thankfully, he didn't have time to respond.

Said door rattled, a muted grunt coming from the other side as the wood was shaken free from its frame. _Hopefully it was Mazelinka._

Heart pounding, we watched the door slowly swing open to reveal...a woman.

 _She was older than I expected, for some reason._ Short and squat, the dark-skinned woman was carrying a basket in one hand, the other adjusting a thick shawl around her shoulders. When she saw us, the woman paused, then grinned. "Ilya!" Her voice was rough, a strangely pleasant and low sound, "Did you come in through the window again, you slippery boy?"

I covered an inappropriate laugh, torn between amusement and concern when Julian abruptly straightened, firmly smacking his head against the ceiling.

Unfettered, the man swept forward, lowering himself to plant a brief kiss on the woman's cheek. "Ah, Mazelinka, aren't you a sight for a sore eye! Love the shawl, is it new?" _Turning on the charm again, I see._

"You know it isn't," Judging by her expression, she was just as unimpressed by the remark, "I thought you might be around when I saw the guards. Are you -" She stopped when our eyes met, noticing my presence for the first time. The butterflies returned, swarming uncomfortably in my gut.

Mercifully, the woman only took a moment to adjust before smiling, "Ah, and who do we have here?"

As if reminded, Julian rose, moving to stand beside me. "This is Cassandra," With a gloved hand resting against my lower back, he clarified, "A...friend of mine."

_Is that what we were?_

"Um, hello." I waved nervously, attempting to focus on the woman before me instead of Julian's comment.

_We should be strangers, and I supposed we were in a sense. There was so much I didn't know about him._

Mazelinka's smile was warm and comforting, revealing a missing front tooth. "Make yourself comfortable, Cassandra. Any…" Dark eyes darted between us, settling back onto me, "friend of Ilya's is a friend of mine."

"Thank you." I bobbed my head, stomach flipping inexplicably.

"Of course," Mazelinka moved further into the room, which felt much smaller with the three of us. Dropping the basket onto a table, her gaze drifted towards the window, squawking at the sight of the flowers. _Oh, right._

"Ah, Mazelinka, I did that." Julian immediately stepped between us, nearly blocking my vision of the shorter woman, hands held up, "I take full responsibility. I wasn't thinking and I -" "Don't fit through the door, I know." Mazelinka didn't appear upset, merely nodding with an exasperated smile, "Fetch me that round pot, will you?"

Blinking in surprise, the auburn-haired man silently obeyed, turning towards a set of cupboards in the dirt wall. There was a sway in his step that I hadn't noticed before, a subtle side-to-side movement that betrayed his exhaustion.

_He must be, after everything. He'd taken that bite for me, and all that running and climbing._

As he reached for the cupboard, I found myself covering his outstretched hand with my own. I noted the bags under his eyes - _nothing new, but they did seem rather defined_ \- and the dazed glaze over his good eye. Hoping to conceal the guilt and frustration building in my chest, as it was my fault that he had taken on the wound to begin with, I gently nudged him to the side. "I've got it, Julian."

His tired gaze bore into me as I stretched upwards to grab the aforementioned pot. _Really, it was more of a small cauldron. Reminded me of the ones back at the shop._

A small pang of nostalgia went through me as I fixed Julian with a stern look, "Now, show me the bite."

Behind us, I could hear Mazelinka unpacking the various items from her basket. "The bite?" Julian blinked once, then twice, before his eye lit with comprehension, "Oh, that bite. You want to see it?"

With a furtive glance at our host, he unfastened the lower buttons of his jacket, lifting the layers to reveal a patch of milky white skin. "What do you think?" Julian rumbled softly.

Miraculously, the skin was...perfect. Smooth and unblemished, no sign that there'd been a wound to begin with.

Julian shuddered when my fingers skimmed the exposed skin. _Smooth to the touch, too._

I quickly pulled my hand back, face warming. Clearing his throat, Julian released the coat, tucking the cloth back into his side, "Good as new, right? Are you impressed?" A shadow crossed his features, "It's your master's magic, it shouldn't be much of a surprise."

I grimaced, looking away. "So you'd think," I muttered bitterly. _The more I knew, the less I understood._

Asra, the man who had taught me everything I knew about magic, had _cursed_ someone. I still didn't know much about Julian, or if he'd even been the one... _No, no, he couldn't have._

Busy wallowing in my guilt and frustration, it was easy for the doctor to whisk the cauldron out of my loose grasp. "Hey," I weakly protested, watching the man stroll across the room.

As Julian strode to the small fireplace, my eyes turned to the short woman beside him. Mazelinka was rolling something between stubby fingers, crumbles of purple herb falling into a pile on the counter. _Was that…?_ The woman sighed, glancing up at Julian as he set the cauldron beside her, "Worrywart's gone stale, but there's more in the garden."

Grabbing a concerningly rusted knife, Mazelinka slipped out the door, which thudded to a close. The second she was gone, Julian leaned against the nearby wall, shoulders slumping.

Running a gloved hand through his hair, Julian shot me a wry smile, "Who would've thought that a bite like that would take so much out of me?"

Dropping his hand, he quickly shook his head, "Not to belittle your bite, mind you. I've treated a few dozen, but -" "There's a difference," I finished, folding my arms across my chest, "between treating it and experiencing it yourself. Especially after galavanting around town." I felt mildly guilty at the remark, but Julian just laughed softly.

"You're right." His visible eye drifted to the fireplace, "They're not aggressive, you know. The eels."

In the small space, the fire cast shadows across his sharp features. Strands of auburn glimmered in the flickering light, stray curls hanging limply across his forehead.

"The eels wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for...the Count." He shifted in place, drifting off.

_It was the first time the Count had been mentioned._

Even with the fire, a chill ran through me. _I'd almost - happily - forgotten about the events in the deceased Count's bedroom. What...or who...had that thing in the hallway been?_

I remembered, with unfortunately vivid clarity, falling into the large bed, ashes clinging to my lips and - "Cassandra?"

I jerked my head away from the fire, heart thudding against my ribcage. _I'd rather face the vampire eels again than...that thing._

Julian was studying me carefully, eyebrows furrowed. I straightened under his searching gaze, unclenching my fists. "Julian." I mimicked, lips twitching in partial amusement. "Maybe I should be asking if you're alright." The doctor responded, smirking.

"I'm fine," I shrugged, stepping closer to the fire. _To Julian._

"But should we be offering to help Mazelinka with the worrywart?" Though I was grateful for the warmth the flames provided, the last thing I wanted to do was go back outside. It was nightfall, and my feet still ached from running across the city. _Still, it was the least we could do after breaking in._

Julian shook his head with a smile, "No, she'll be back...and after the last time I tried to help in the garden, I think I'm officially banned."

"Like that's enough to stop you," I said back, grinning. Julian paused, then let out a sharp bark of laughter.

Once his laughter subsided, the doctor stepped closer, "Do you think so little of me, Cassandra?" The comment was clearly meant to be a joke, but there was something in his visible eye that seemed to say otherwise. _Something fragile._

"Of course not." I frowned. Unsure of what to say next, we fell silent.

Julian and I stood beside the crackling fire, which cast dancing shadows across our features. His cheekbones were softer in the light, auburn lashes framing the speckled grey. Limp curls hung around his face, concealing the eyepatch.

 _I still had no clue as to how he lost his eye. What did I truly know about him, aside from the fact that he was Portia's brother?_ I frowned.

_We were less than a foot away, and yet, he felt so far. Just out of reach...now, wasn't that familiar?_

I turned my head to watch the flames stretch towards the stone above. For some odd reason, I was reminded of the palace fountain and my last conversation with Asra.

 _This was the part where he would leave and -_ I practically jumped when warm, calloused hands wrapped around my own.

"What's on your mind, little bird?" Julian asked softly, thumb tracing slow circles.

Unable to meet his gaze, I studied our intertwined hands. "I-Nothing." I shook my head, trying to step backwards, "It's nothing. We should go check on Mazelinka -" "Mazelinka will be right back." Instead of letting go, his grip tightened, keeping me in place, "She's not the one I'm worried about."

Frowning, I risked a glance upwards. Julian appeared uncharacteristically serious, focusing on my face with a simultaneously unnerving and familiar intensity.

_On the night of the Masquerade, Count Lucio had retired to his chambers, and by midnight, was engulfed in flames._

My mouth felt dry, and the crackling fire suddenly felt much too hot against my exposed skin. Like a coward, I looked away...again.

_He was a dead man in Vesuvia, any mistake could cost him his life, so why…?_

There was a small flicker of anger, ignited by the reminder. _He escaped a death sentence, only to return to the very place he was being hunted. Why? Did he have such little regard for his own life?_

"Julian," I wasn't sure why I was whispering, seeing as we were the only people in the small hut, "Why did you come back?"

There was a long silence; heart practically stuttering, I stumbled over my words to clarify, "To Versuvia, I mean. Everyone believes you're…" It was my turn to trail off, unable to say the final word out loud.

"A murderer." His voice was low like thunder, soft breath sweeping against my face, "I know."

His thumb, previously tracing slow circles along the back of my hand, stilled.

It felt like ages that we stood there, with only the sounds of the fireplace and the occasional rustle outside.

"I need answers." Julian finally said. Even whispering, his voice was clear. "If I don't find the truth, I'll lose my mind looking for it."

_Now, doesn't that sound familiar?_

I swallowed, wondering if it was my hands or his that were trembling. Countless times I had pressed Asra for answers for the truth about my past. About things that never quite made sense...the ones I could remember, at least.

The familiar bitterness welled up on my tongue, sharp and unrelenting.

 _There was a part of me, no matter how small, that_ blamed _Asra. For keeping the truth from me. For expecting me, even unconsciously, to be the woman I used to. For leaving me behind, time and time again._

A low ringing echoed in my ears, and I resisted the urge to rub it away.

_I knew it wasn't his fault. He clearly felt guilty for not being 'able' to tell me. The headaches, the pain...even so. The bitterness and blame lingered like a stain, a burden I didn't want to carry._

Movement startled me from my thoughts as Julian's grip tightened. Gray met green.

 _Our situations weren't even remotely close, but…_ "I think I can understand that." I tried to smile, "The desire to know the truth, no matter the cost."

_Unlike myself, Julian was brave. He didn't give up on his search, even when he probably should. Even if it was extremely dangerous. After all, we'd almost been caught today._

I wondered if my smile looked like his in that moment. Not quite reaching his eye, a strained sort of amusement.

"As you may have guessed," Julian said, "I have some questions for your master. If you knew…"

"Knew what?" I felt myself leaning into his touch, the warmth of his palm against my skin. Julian's lips twitched in amusement before he continued, "The years, the...the distance I've gone to find him."

He grimaced, shaking his head, "Ah, what does it matter? It's not like there's anywhere else I'd rather be." Something uncomfortably heavy settled into the pit of my stomach. _What did it matter?_ I forced myself to breathe, the surge of guilt and frustration and bitterness temporarily overwhelming my senses. _How could he say that so casually?_

"Of course it matters." There was a _creak_ behind us, but I didn't dare pull my gaze away from his.

Pulling my hands free, I stepped backwards. I wrapped my arms around my torso, chest heaving with emotion.

 _It was a long day and we were both tired…._ But the words spilled free, nonetheless. "We were nearly caught today," I barely managed, " _You_ were nearly caught, because of me."

_Because of my clumsiness, my selfishness..._

I could hear the ragged edge to my voice, the anger. _Not at him, at myself._

"If you'd been found…"

The lump in my throat prevented me from finishing the thought.

 _When he find him,_ Nadia's voice rang in my ears, _the doctor will die in the gallows. Whether he begs for his life, or hangs his head in defeat, the people will delight in his suffering._ A wave of nausea rolled through me _._

_I'd been too busy enjoying our time running around to realize how dangerous it was for him._

_He returned to uncover the truth and had nearly jeopardized that to protect a naive apprentice with a thirst for adventure._

"I'm sorry," I wiped roughly at my face when hot tears began to fall, and quickly turned away.

 _How embarrassing. Honestly, I shouldn't even be here, I needed to -_ "Cassandra," Gentle hands brushed at my arms, forcing me to face him. "N-No," I shook my head vehemently, stuck between escaping and the frighteningly strong desire to hide myself in the comfort of his arms.

 _We were tired. It'd been a long day...that's all it was..._ Weak as I was, I only denied myself a few seconds before succumbing to the gentle tug of his hands, the soothing weight of his arms around me.

A hand rubbed slow circles along my lower back. "I'm sorry," I whispered again, wishing for nothing more than to sink through the floor. _I should be helping him, not the other way around. I was weak, pathetic. No wonder Asra didn't believe I was strong enough to handle the truth._

By the time I'd calmed, breath shuddering to a slow, repetitive movement - _the seconds felt like hours_ \- Julian was still there.

Wiping at my face, I pulled back in time to see the doctor cover a long yawn. _He must be exhausted. And here I was..._

I carefully freed myself, sucking in another shaky breath. _By the stars, pull yourself together, Cassandra._

"Ilya!" A sharp voice barked, and I physically tensed.

 _When had she gotten back?_ I wiped at my face again while Julian straightened abruptly.

By the open door stood Mazelinka, a bundle of purple herbs in one arm, "You're barely on two feet, when was the last time you slept?" Clearing his throat, Julian ran a hand through his hair, gaze darting from me to Mazelinka, "Ah, well, since the curse, I don't really need it the way I used to."

Mazelinka's eyes narrowed, raising a wooden spoon in his direction. "Says who? Your eye is practically rolling. Curse shmurse."

Despite the previously heavy atmosphere - _and my temporary breakdown_ \- I found myself chuckling.

Julian's lips twitched upwards, and Mazelinka smiled briefly in my direction. My face heated when her gaze seemed to linger on my face, no doubt seeing the tear-stained evidence. _How mortifying._ "I'm fine, really." Julian replied, "Haven't felt this good in awhile. Must be the company." He shot an exaggerated wink in my direction. _Trying to cheer me up._

Mazelinka just sighed, moving forwards to toss some of the herb into the cauldron. She began stirring the concoction, frowning up at the man beside her, "I'll be very happy for you after you've rested."

Waving the spoon in his direction, she added, "Go now. Shoo." Julian looked torn, glancing from me to the cauldron. I tried to smile, nodding towards the curtain encouragingly. _I'll be fine. Go, rest._

"Well?" Mazelinka put a hand on her hip, looking between us, "Will you survive that long without her?"

Red crept up Julian's face and neck. If I wasn't as drained, I would've been just as embarrassed by the comment.

"I'll survive," He relented, shooting one last glance at the cauldron, "Just until the soup is done. You'll have to excuse me, Cassandra, you're in good company." We briefly exchanged another look before he turned, ducking past the thick curtain that separated the bedroom from the rest of the hut.

Leaning against the side of the fireplace, I watched the shorter woman stir the soup with practiced ease, tossing in another ingredient. _Something about the process was strangely familiar…_ Mazelinka met my gaze and smiled, revealing crooked teeth, "Sorry to interrupt your conversation."

My own face warmed at this, but the woman continued, "It seemed pretty important." _How much had she overheard?_ "No, no it's fine." I quickly shook my head, shifting in place, "I should be thanking you. For letting us...letting me stay here."

She chuckled, stirring the cauldron three times before pouring a pale liquid into the soup. "Of course, dear, you're perfectly welcome here." Brown eyes met mine, "It's nice to see someone who cares so much about him."

This time, I blamed the fire for the heat that rose to my cheeks, burning my ears.

"Here," Before I could formulate a response, Mazelinka shoved something warm into my hands, "you need to eat, too." _I...what?_

I glanced down at the loaf of bread in my hands, the delicious smell rising from the seemingly fresh food. _Where had she gotten this from?_ "Oh no, it's, it's fine." I shook my head quickly, holding out the loaf. _By the stars, it smelled incredible._ "I can't possibly accept this. You -"

This time, the shorter woman shook her spoon in _my_ direction.

"You can and you will accept it." Her expression softened, "Goodness knows you'll need it after running around the city with Ilya."

 _How did she -_ My confusion must've been painfully clear, for Mazelinka chuckled. Just then, my stomach decided to join the conversation.

"Ah, I'm sorry," I felt ridiculous, covering my stomach as if I could mute the low grumble. "Don't be sorry, just sit and eat." I nodded silently, unwilling to argue against her hospitality for a second, or third, time. _Besides...I was starving._

"Thank you." I said meekly, moving to sit in the nearest chair.

The loaf was small, but incredible. _Warm and fluffy, with a hint of sweetness...was that rosemary?_

It was quiet while I ate, the occasional clank of metal from the cauldron and the slow swirl of the liquid inside. The fire crackled merrily on.

"He won't do it, you know." _Do what?_

Jerking her head towards the curtain, Mazelinke smiled, "He'll be pacing around until someone pins him to the bed." _Oh._

It certainly sounded like him. _Stubborn as an ox, with a healthy dose of disregard for his own well-being._

"One of us needs to keep an eye on the brew, though…" She hummed, a mischievous edge to her tone, "Cassandra, you're the guest. Would you rather watch him, or shall I?"

If I thought I'd been blushing before, it was nothing compared to this.

"I, uh" _Why was I getting so embarrassed tonight?_ Mazelinka raised an eyebrow at me, and I finally managed, "I'll keep an eye on him."

She grinned victoriously, gesturing towards the partition, "I'll be watching the brew then, won't be long now." I nodded stiffly, ignoring the all-too-knowing grin on her face.

_She reminded me of Julian and Portia, especially with that look in her eye. Exactly how much had she overheard of our conversation?_

The bedroom was small, only furnished with the bed and a stool with a singular, lit candle. The curtain fell behind me with a muted _whoosh_ as I stepped inside, the crackling of the fire quiet.

_Mazelinka was right._

The broad-shouldered doctor sat on the edge of the bed, his loose cotton shirt hanging from his shoulders as he fumbled with his remaining boot.

"Come to tuck me in?" He commented, kicking away the boot with another yawn. "I won't last long, I'm afraid."

Shrugging, he grinned up at me, "I know when I'm beat."

"Color me surprised." I commented dryly, taking a small comfort in the exchange.

Leaning back against the bed, Julian smiled, "If it's one thing I know, it's my own body, especially when it comes to healing."

I glanced down at the stained fabric by his torso. Even with the wound healed, he must've felt the after-effects.

 _Blood loss, exhaustion from lack of sleep and physical activity._ Faint clattering sounds came from behind the curtain.

"Whether I like it or not," he said thoughtfully, "healing will take as long as it likes. Amazing, isn't it?"

"Not the word I'd use." I responded. Julian chuckled, shaking his head, "Stab me in the back, and I'll walk it off." I frowned, but he only continued in a light tone, "But healing will take everything I've got. Can't escape it."

"All the more reason to sleep." I raised an eyebrow at him.

We exchanged a small, amused smile.

Before we could say anything else, Mazelinka came in through the curtain, carrying a steaming bowl. _That smelled amazing, too. Rich with herbs and...something else. Something familiar?_

I stepped to the side as Mazelinka moved forwards, shoving the bowl into Julian's hands. The liquid lapped at the edges, but didn't spill.

"Drink." She demanded.

"That kind of soup, is it?" After a brief sniff, he raised the bowl to his lips.

"You know it is." The woman huffed, "I won't let you run yourself into the grave. You're still human, Ilya."

Glancing over her shoulder at me, Mazelinka asked, "Cassandra, dear, will you be staying the night as well?" Julian began coughing, soup running down his chin.

"I, uh," I hesitated, looking between the expectant pairs of eyes on me, "If that's alright, Mazelinka. I don't want to impose any further -" "Nonsense." Mazelinka cut me off, waving a hand in the air, "Like I said, you're more than welcome here. And while you're here…"

She seemed to consider something before plucking the bowl out of Julian's idle hands. Ignoring his protests, the woman handed the soup to me, "Be a dear and see that he drinks all of this. I have a feeling he'll take whatever you're giving."

Both Julian and I were left spluttering in obvious embarrassment. With the smirk still on her lips, Mazelinka slipped out of the small room.

"It's fine," Julian was wringing the spilled soup from his shirt, his ears matching the color of his hair, "I'm not even tired anymoo-" A third yawn escaped, and he dropped the shirt to cover his mouth.

"Come, sit." He patted the bed beside him, shifting to make space. While he placed the gloves beside the candle, I gingerly carried the half-full bowl over.

"She makes this soup when I can't sleep." Julian explained as I settled carefully beside him, "Bless her. Even when I'm beyond stress," He ran his marked hand through his hair, chuckling, "raving, beating my wings against the walls...I don't know what she puts in it."

I glanced down at the simmering golden brew, "I think I might have an idea."

Lifting the bowl, I said, "Here, finish it before she comes back." My lips raised in amusement, and I couldn't help but to add, "Ilya."

His hands hovered around the bowl, blinking owlishly at me. My smile grew at his reaction, and I took the opportunity to place the soup into his waiting hands.

"It's strange, hearing you call me that." He admitted, drawing the bowl to his lips.

"Bad strange?" I asked. Draining the last drops of the soup, he lowered the bowl with a smile. "Not at all."

Setting it on the stool, he turned back to me with a grin. "You know," He drawled, "we don't have to sleep just yet. We could stay up, and you know…get to know each other a little better." Wiggling his eyebrows, his trademark grin made its return, "What do you say?"

My eyes betrayed me, lingering on the golden droplets gleaming along his parted lips.

_No, what was I thinking? Stop being ridiculous. Why would he want to kiss me, especially now?_

I was immensely grateful for the lack of reflective surfaces, thinking of my near drowning and emotional breakdown.

_Probably for the best I couldn't see myself._

"We never did get to finish what we started, you know, in the garden." He leaned backwards, clearly enjoying the various emotions crossing my face.

_So he wanted to play this game, again._

In a way, we both were more comfortable like this. _The playful banter was better than talking about the outburst from earlier. About what it meant._

I straightened, ignoring the weight in my chest. _I was happy to forget, just for a short while. We were safe, here. Safe, for tonight._

"You'll have to remind me," I began, fighting the smirk that threatened to ruin my faux confused tone, "what about the garden?"

Julian paused. Despite the sudden rush of nerves, I continued on, tilting my head in his direction, "I remember the statues, the flower," _Escaping the guards, again._ "But...what happened after that?"

I almost laughed at how put-out he looked, lower lip jutting out in a near pout.

"Want to jog my memory?"

_I wasn't used to being this...bold, but it was fun._

His visible eye widened briefly, and he quickly sat up beside me. My smile nearly fell in surprise when he quickly leaned closer, marked hand returning to the back of my neck. _Oh. Oh, were we really -_

"I'd be happy to." Julian murmured, drawing closer and closer. Heart thrumming in my ears, I could feel my eyes begin to close, slowly.

_We were really going to kiss, oh my stars. And I...I wanted him to. Kiss me, that is._

"Cassandra," His breath spilled softly against my lips, barely an inch away.

_Julian..._

"That's enough now, you two." A familiar voice called.

My shoulders slumped and Julian froze, reluctantly pulling away. _So close - !_

Frustration and disappointment overshadowed any embarrassment, and I audibly sighed.

"Cassandra," Mazelinka's face appeared around the curtain, dark curls falling around her face, "I trust you'll be sharing the bed?"

Her eyes drifted to the man beside me, "Unless you'd rather sleep in the hiding hole?"

 _Hiding hole?_ I hadn't noticed one in the hut, but I wasn't surprised. It was common in smaller places like this.

Without looking at Julian - I could _feel_ his curious gaze burning a hole in my side - I folded my hands in my lap, "I'll sleep here, if that's alright. Thank you, Mazelinka."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Julian grin.

"There you have it." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him. Aiming his smile at the woman before us, he added, "Don't worry, I'll be an absolute gentleman."

Mazelinka only raised an eyebrow, looking thoroughly unimpressed, "Oh, will you? Hold him to that, Cassandra."

Julian's mouth fell open in mock offense, and I laughed, leaning my head against his shoulder. _This was...nice._

"Absolutely," Julian spoke for me, squeezing my shoulder gently. Glancing down, his smirk seemed to grow wider, "Hold me however you like, Cassandra."

"Julian!" I exclaimed, leaning back to shoot him a scandalized look. _Not in front of Mazelinka!_

Thankfully, the brunette only chuckled, rolling her eyes. "Get some sleep already, you two." She called as she left, letting the curtain return to its resting place.

"That I can't promise." Julian called back, laughing softly.

My nerves returned as suddenly as they'd left, and I studied the room around us in lieu of meeting Julian's gaze. _What now?_

"We should probably do as she says." Julian broke the silence, the amusement still clear in his voice. I bit my lip, nodding, "Probably."

The bed shifted as he fell backwards, spreading his arms across it. "Look at that," He patted the sheets, grinning, "nice and spacious."

"So it is." I hummed, bending down to take off my sandals. _They were definitely ruined._ Mud clung to the edges and straps, crumbling into small piles as I unclasped the buckles. _I'll clean up in the morning._

I raised a hand to cover my yawn, exhaustion settling around me like a blanket. _By the stars, what a day._ Julian shifted, making space, "Ready, little bird?" Nerves fluttered in my stomach at the sight. _It was just sharing a bed, not a big deal..._ I shook my head lightly, smiling.

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

Slowly, I climbed into the open space, hyper-aware of his body less than a foot away. _We always ended up so close to one another…_

A chuckle came from above my head as I laid down, and I cautiously turned my head in his direction.

_So close._

Julian's face was just above mine, propped up by an arm beside my head.

The candlelight was dim, barely illuminating the curve of his lips and chin and eyelashes. "It's a nickname for my old apprentice. You remind me of her, sometimes." I shifted to get more comfortable, arm brushing against his chest.

_Too close._

"You had an apprentice?"

We were both stalling, pulses still racing from our almost kiss. From our current proximity. _We were in the same bed together..._

Frankly, it was a strange combination; adrenaline and exhaustion. _I wasn't sure I could sleep right now, even if I tried._

Julian nodded, reaching down to play with a strand of my hair. "During the Plague," He clarified, "She was spectacular under pressure and knew a fair amount about medicine before she even started training with me."

I watched the strands of violet slip through his fingers, falling gently against the pillow.

"Come to think of it, she had hair just like yours." Our eyes locked when he brushed hair away from my face, his touch lingering, "The same, beautiful shade of lavender."

"Really?" I breathed, struggling to focus on the conversation. _Third time's the charm…_

"It's not a common color in Versuvia." I finally managed to add, resisting the urge to shift in place.

_I probably should've joined Mazelinka in the hiding hole._

In reality, I knew that I wouldn't have chosen anything other than this. _Maybe I could be selfish, just for tonight._ "That's true, I've never seen anything like it…" His eye met mine again. _Like you._ Something crossed his expression, and his hand slipped away.

"I hope I'm not coming on too strong," Julian said, biting his lower lip.

I glanced up at him, wondering where this was coming from. _I'd all but openly invited him to kiss me._

He sighed, leaning back to run his hand through his hair. _A habit of his. I...kind of liked it._

"Oh, Cassandra, I'd love to make something real with you."

 _Real? This wasn't…?_ I supposed I knew what he meant, but the comment still stung.

"If only we had more time." He smiled sadly down at me, fingers brushing against my cheek.

"Julian," I murmured, frowning.

_I would prove his innocence. Not because I wanted...whatever this was, though that was certainly true. No, because he deserved to know the truth. Portia deserved to have her brother back. Versuvia deserved to know that Doctor Julian Devorak wasn't a murderer._

"Don't mind me," Julian chuckled, though it lacked his usual energy, "I'm just rambling. Must be really tired."

Despite the ache in my chest, I smiled. "Then let's go to sleep. Otherwise, Mazelinka might just come back to check up on us."

He grinned, "I shudder at the thought." His fingers stilled.

The next thing I knew, Julian was leaning down, eyes half-lidded.

My own eyes closed automatically; his lips brushed my forehead in a gentle kiss, fingers pushing stray hairs away.

"Goodnight, Cassandra." He whispered against my skin.

It took me a moment to recover, heart stuttering from the sweet gesture.

"G-Goodnight, Julian." With that, the candle was put out, sending the room into comfortable darkness.

_Goodnight._


	19. Julian, Book 8: The Chariot, Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “As we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.”  
>  ― D.D. Barant

I didn't dream that night. Instead, I woke to a warm, firm pillow beneath my head and a comfortable weight across my waist.

Slowly blinking, the world gradually began to sharpen, gaining focus. It was still dark, likely sometime in the night. _And I...was in Julian's arms._

I stiffened, aware of my back pressed against his chest, the bare arm draped over me. The slow, occasional breath across the top of my head.

_Huh, this was...nice. Really nice._

Peeking at the curtain - no sign of Mazelinka - I allowed myself a moment, cuddling further into his unconscious embrace.

 _Just for a second..._ My heavy eyelids slipped shut once more.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was facing Julian, his chin resting against my head. My ears warmed when I realized one of my legs was tucked between his, an arm still around my waist.

Reluctantly, I carefully maneuvered out of his slumbering grasp, instantly missing the warmth and comfort.

_I could stay...but I shouldn't. It was time to return to reality._

_I needed to check on the shop._

Julian shifted in my absence, limbs spreading haphazardly across the bed. I smiled at the sight, thinking of the previous days' events.

_Of last night, right before we fell asleep._

I reached down, moving stray curls from his face. _He looked so calm, like this._ It was a pleasant contrast to the agonized expression I'd seen previously.

Before I could change my mind, I quickly bent down, leaving a small kiss on his exposed forehead.

 _Only returning the favor._ After making sure he hadn't woken up, I slipped out of the room.

The house was seemingly empty, the early rays of light streaming through the window.

Chickens clucked faintly outside, a pleasant backdrop to the peaceful morning. "Mazelinka?" I whispered loudly. _Maybe she'd already left for the day._ Moving towards the window, I gently brushed the petals of the dragon's breath, which curled towards my fingers.

_Thankfully, I had the day to myself._

_I needed to stop by the market, re-supply some of my own herbs for the shop. I was running low on Althea Root, for starters. Maybe do a quick sweep so that we can open next week._ I ran through the mental checklist as I settled into the kitchen chair, dusting off my muddy sandals.

_One of the few good things about Asra's constant absence was that it allowed me time to run the shop the way I wanted._

Shaking my head, I went to grab a broom for the dirt.

_I remember three years ago, when he was first teaching me how to balance the books and barter with the vendors for a better wholesale price. He could be quite cunning, when the situation called for it._

That particular thought dampened some of the morning's goodwill. _I'd only spoken to him two days ago...I think. A lot has happened in 48 hours._

Spotting the bucket in the corner, I smiled. _Mazelinka was God-sent._

_After falling into the aqueduct and everything afterward, I was in desperate need of a bath._

For however long, I quietly hummed, using the clean water and rag she'd left out to clean the previous days' events from my skin. _If I had stayed at the palace any longer, I would've become spoiled. Those fresh, hot baths..._ Even so, the cool morning air was a pleasant contrast against my damp skin.

I winced when I came across the various bruises along my legs and blisters at the arch of my foot. _I knew this would happen._

As I wrung out the cloth, a rustling noise from the partition drew my attention.

"Finally awake, sleepy head?" I called, smiling.

_Maybe I had accidentally woken him...whoops._

After no response, I frowned, stepping closer to the bedroom. "N-no, please, May-" Strangled murmurs came from the curtain, followed by more rustling.

"Julian?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please -" Concerned, I pulled the fabric aside in time to see the tangled pile of limbs and blanket tumble to the floor with a loud _thud_.

"Julian," I gasped, kneeling by his side, "Are you alright?"

Julian sat up with a wry smile, sweat beading his forehead. "Cassandra," He greeted, dropping his head back to the floor, "Did I wake you? I...sorry, didn't mean to disturb you."

"No, I was already up." I shook my head, slowly working to free him from the blanket.

This close, I could practically feel the tension radiating from his stiff limbs. _His hands were trembling._ Julian rose slowly, not quite meeting my eyes. _Like he was trying to hide it from me._

I waited until he sat on the bed to casually remark, "It sounded like you were having a nightmare."

 _Would he tell me, if he was? Julian was usually honest, if not vague, but..._ For some reason, there was a part of me that was scared, almost expectant of some 'comforting' lie.

"Did I?" He sighed, running shaky fingers through his hair. It was immediately caught by a knot, and he winced as he pulled it free.

"That would be...because I was. Having a nightmare, that is." His shoulders slumped, leaning his elbows against his knees. My chest ached at the sight. "Seems silly in the light of day," He continued, glancing up at the curtain, "Or, er, dawn, I suppose."

"It's alright to be scared," I commented, the bed dipping as I sat beside him, "that's why they're called nightmares." "I suppose so." Julian chuckled.

Clearing his throat, he plucked the blanket from my arms, setting it behind us. "Why were you out of bed, Cassandra? Are you sure I didn't wake you?"

"Like I said, I was already up." I crossed my arms, "And you're trying to change the subject." _Not this time._ "I heard you talking in your sleep." Reaching over, I grabbed one of his hands in mine as proof, "and you're still shaking."

Silently, I tried to think of the best antidote for nightmares. There _was_ this one potion, but I wasn't quite sure how to make it by myself...I made a mental note to check the shop later. _We might have some of the already bottled ones in the back...if they haven't gone bad by now._

I had learned the hard way about using expired potions. _What a night that'd been..._

Julian straightened, plastering a grin across his face, "What, shaking? Nonsense."

_The mask slipped back on. Perhaps not a mask, but a cover nonetheless._

"I'm a doctor. My hands are as sure as death and taxes."

I smiled at the comment, but refused to let him tug his hand free. Gripping it tighter with both of my own, I turned to fully face the auburn-haired man. As color rose to his cheeks, he tried again, "I told you, Cassandra, it's nothing. It wasn't real…" He seemed to consider the validity of the statement, then shook his head, "It wasn't real. I have no reason to be upset."

"You're allowed to be upset." I reminded him, "Nightmares are meant to be as such."

Thinking back to the previous night, I added, "You're still human, Ilya." The nickname felt strange on my tongue, even now.

"I-uh," He blinked, taken aback by the words being thrown back at him. _Technically, Mazelinka had said it, but close enough._

After a moment, he sighed, the corners of his lips raised, "I can't hide anything from those piercing eyes, hm?" _Piercing?_ "Don't know why I bothered in the first place."

Unsure as to whether I should be flattered, I remained quiet, waiting for him to talk. _If he wanted to. I wouldn't force him to relive his nightmares._

Judging by his expression, however, there was a question sitting on the tip of his tongue. Seconds later, his voice rang out in the small space, "Do you believe in forgiveness?"

 _So_ that _was what was on his mind? Nightmares about...that night?_

"Forgiveness?" I echoed.

Julian was tense, his body coiled like a spring wound too tight. Even as he spoke, he refused to look in my direction. "Do you think that...that even truly heinous actions can be forgiven?" A bitter grin stretched his lips, "Or are there some things you don't get to come back from?" My brow furrowed at the question and his demeanor.

_He was speaking as if...he was the one who killed the Count. Or could he be referring to something else? And if so, what?_

I studied the curve of his shoulders, the trembling hand in both of mine.

_But he told me he returned to Versuvia in order to find the truth. Did that mean he didn't know if he was the one who killed Count Lucio? How could that be?_

I thought of my own experiences, years upon years of memories just...gone. Of the people who acted strange around me. All the conversations I'd surely forgotten, the icy headaches. Being utterly and hopelessly lost in my own life.

 _Maybe he'd lost his memories, too._ A twisted sort of hope curled within my chest, unbidden. _Maybe he knew what it was like._ I felt mildly guilty at the thought.

_Not knowing who you are is a special kind of hell. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, let alone Julian._

Said man shifted nervously, and I realized I hadn't answered his question.

Squeezing his hand, I looked down, tracing the murderer's brand. In the morning's light, the ink was stark against his pale skin, neat lines crawling up his hand. _I still believed he didn't kill the Count. That he wasn't capable. Dramatic and an escape artist he may be...but not a thief. Not a murderer._

"You can come back." I finally said.

It likely wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, nor the one I wanted to give.

A voice whispered, _even if he had done it, you would forgive him, wouldn't you?_

The mere thought was terrifying, a notion I didn't want to consider, especially this early in the day. _I'd gotten so attached in such a short period of time. This was, what, the fourth or fifth day I'd known the doctor?_ The truth twisted painfully around my organs. _There were some things that nobody could forgive, that nobody_ should _forgive. So why…?_

"You can always come back." My voice cracked, betraying the swirl of conflicting emotions at the turn my thoughts had taken.

"If I could just remember…" He whispered, flipping his hand to hold mine, "then I would know if what I've done is something unforgivable."

I studied his expression, then quietly asked, "What will you do if it is?"

He stilled, eye visibly widening.

"I-...If I can't make it right, then I'll take whatever punishment I deserve, without question."

My stomach turned at the mental image of the gallows.

Slowly straightening, his hand slipped out of mine. "Well," His voice was louder, a falsely chipper edge to it, "isn't this a dour conversation? Don't mind me, Cassandra."

Julian rose to his feet, turning to offer me a hand, "It's just the sleep deprivation talking. Five cups of coffee and I'll get the pep back in my step." "Five?" I grinned. He pulled me to my feet as I replied, "Julian, you're a doctor. Surely you know that isn't good for you."

_If he didn't want to talk about it anymore, that was fine. I wouldn't push him any further. Not now, not on a morning like this._

_There were other ways to help._

"How about I make us a cup of tea, and you tell me what the world is like, outside of Versuvia?" I nudged his shoulder gently, smiling up at him. _I'd nearly forgotten how much taller he was. So not fair._

Julian accepted the distraction for what it was, grinning. "Ah, haven't had much cause to travel, Cassandra?" I shook my head, striding over to the curtain, "Not really." Asra's face popped into my mind, his bag packed and scarf wrapped around his neck. _Ready for the next adventure, without me._

Shaking off the reminder, I went to see what sort of tea leaves Mazelinka had in her kitchen. _I hoped she didn't mind._

With the tea brewed and poured into steaming cups, I herded an expectant Julian back into the bed.

As he relaxed against the back wall, I handed him the small, chipped mug, settling next to him with my own. "I've been all over the world," Julian began, breathing in the minty steam that wafted from the cup, "What do you want to hear about?" He grinned again, that familiar smile, "Pirate ships that plague the Frozen Sea? Or maybe the Priestlords of Firent?" I took a sip, wincing at the scalding temperature. "Ah, I could tell you the tales of the Floating City of -" He paused, considering something, "Maybe not one. It's a little compromising."

"Compromising?" I repeated, eyebrows raising.

Chuckling, he set the cup down on the stool to wrap an arm around my shoulder. _What was his definition of compromising?_

My curiosity peaked, but...there was something else I'd been wanting to know.

"Where did you grow up?"

I laughed at his surprised expression, handing my cup over to place onto the stool. _Still too hot to drink._

"Where I grew up?" Julian worried his lip in thought, then released it.

I tilted my head back against his arm, relishing the strange ease in which we'd settled ourselves. _I supposed that after everything we'd been through thus far, this wasn't out of the bounds of normalcy. Or so I selfishly hoped._

With a distant look in his eye, Julian answered, "Little town south of here, in the salt flats. Nevivon."

"Inas, my...friend, lives there." I smiled in recognition, "She comes by Versuvia to sell her wares."

I remembered some of the stories she used to tell me, the fondness in her voice. She used to insist that I come and visit, but Asra was unusually against it. _Maybe he didn't think I was 'ready' for that, either._

"Really?" Julian glanced down at me, "You may already know, then, about the remarkable saltwater hot springs. Healthiest baths you'll ever take." "Sounds nice." I commented, watching the tension gradually leave his shoulders. _Even his hands had stopped shaking._

"I haven't been back for a spell," He leaned his head against the wall, staring up at the ceiling, "Since Pasha left, there's no reason to return."

 _Pasha?_ It took me a moment to realize that he was referring to Portia. _Cute._

His hand traced mindless patterns along my bare shoulder, and I shuddered at the sensation. _It wasn't unpleasant...quite the opposite, actually._ Aside from Asra, physical affection was rare. _Even with Asra, it was only sparingly, controlled brushes and brief moments of fondness._

_This was...different._

"What about you?"

I craned my neck back at the unexpected question. "What about me?"

Julian chuckled, using his free hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. _Was it just me or did his hand linger for a second?_

"Where did you grow up? I'm sure you must've had an interesting childhood, oh powerful magician."

"Still an apprentice, technically." I corrected, smile fading.

"I…" I sighed, "Milova, supposedly."

"Oh, that's not too far from Nevivon." I felt Julian shift, confusion lacing his tone, "Wait, supposedly?"

I nodded, watching the steam rise from our cups in small swirls. My heart beat a harsh pattern against my chest, and I wondered if this was a good idea. _He'd been so open with me._

_Besides, I was sick of secrets._

"I don't remember anything past three years ago."

In the following silence, I continued on, "I don't remember anything about where I grew up, or who my family even was." I frowned, "Is."

_If I had family, wouldn't Asra have told me about them by now?_ _Wouldn't they have come looking for me? If they knew where I was, that is._

_And why wouldn't they?_

"As far as I know," My voice sounded much too small, echoing in the tiny bedroom, "Asra is my only family."

The admission brought the next wave of shame and mourning to the surface. _Not the time, Cassandra. Don't allow your emotions to control you._

I quickly blinked away tears. _Why did I feel so...ashamed? It wasn't like it was my fault...right?_

Clearing my throat, I spoke once more, "Anyways, tell me about some of your travels outside of Versuvia."

When he didn't react, I reluctantly glanced up. Julian was watching me silently, thoughtfully.

_Don't look at me like that. Please, anything but that._

Fighting the sudden lump in my throat, I added, "Please, Julian."

Another agonizing pause - _maybe I shouldn't have said anything_ \- and Julian nodded, the frown still on his lips.

"Alright." He whispered.

His grip around my shoulder loosened, "How about the time I accidentally stole a pregnant war elephant?" "A...pregnant...war elephant?" _I didn't even realize there were normal war elephants._ "Tell me everything." I tried to smile, shifting further into his side.

_I just wanted to enjoy this moment while it lasted. There would always be pain, but this? This was fragile._

I felt like I could wake up at any second, and realize that this feeling was nothing but another dream.

_Another moment, lost to the world of fantasy and longing. Of things that could never be._

"As long as you promise to still respect me after." His voice vibrated in his chest beside my head, the faint scent of leather and musk wafting from him. _And something else, like old books or parchment._

"That implies I respected you to begin with." I tried to joke, to lighten the mood. Worry pricked at me when he didn't immediately respond.

As I moved to sit up, however, his hand tightened around my shoulder, keeping me in place. _Oh, okay._ Face bursting into heat, I leaned back. "I suppose that means you don't want to hear my story, then." Julian commented causally, and I laughed, shaking my head, "No, no, please, do tell."

"Are you sure? It doesn't seem like you're very interested…"

"Julian!" I managed between laughter. "Fine, fine…Once upon a desert..." With a smile in his voice, Julian launched into the strange tale.

If it had been from anyone else, I would've called them out for making up such ridiculous events. _But this wasn't anyone, this was Julian. Dramatic doctor and storytelling extraordinaire, apparently._

"...She pulled out her scimitar, so of course I had to…"

Smiling, I felt myself leaning more and more against him, savoring the moment. _I'd never felt anything like this before._ He chuckled at something as I closed my eyes, relishing the fingers tracing circles on my shoulder, the voice in my ear, and the warmth glowing in my chest.

_Please, let this be real._

For the third time, I slowly returned to the world of the living.

Birds chirped outside, sunlight dappling my face as I turned. Julian was gone, the depression in the bed the only trace that he was there to begin with. With a yawn, I stretched, allowing my brain to catch up with my body.

_We certainly needed the rest, but where was Julian?_

I was slightly embarrassed that I had fallen asleep mid-story; it wasn't that it'd been boring, quite the opposite. _I just...couldn't help it._

The warmth in my chest from earlier lingered, a pleasant change to the usual burden.

 _I felt...lighter, after telling him the truth._ I traced the spot where his hand had been. _He'd been the first one I had willingly told. Everyone else - Asra, Inas, some of the vendors in the neighborhood - had already known._

 _How strange..._ After slipping on my sandals, I stepped into the other room. _No sign of him._

"Julian?" I called, noting that his jacket was missing. _His gloves and boots, too. I'm alone._

I dropped into the nearest chair. _Would he just...leave, like that? Disappear?_ I held a hand to my chest. _Things had been going well, hadn't they?_

The warmth faded, and I tried to breathe slowly and evenly as I braided my hair.

 _Had I been misreading the signs? Had he been upset that I'd fallen asleep on him? Or..._ My stomach flipped.

_Was it because of last night? I knew I should've controlled my emotions better, it's always been an issue for me. Had I scared him away?_

The _slam_ of the wooden door jolted me from my worries.

"Julian?" I jerked my head up, jerking as my finger got caught in part of the braid.

_He was back. He hadn't left me, after all._

Said man stopped abruptly, hand on the doorframe. "Oh, erm, you're already up."

"Of course I am." I said, tying off the braid with ease. With a half-hearted smile, I added, "Can't sleep the whole day away, after all."

Julian shifted from foot-to-foot, nodding, "Ah, right."

_Something was wrong._

"Listen, Cassandra," His voice sounded strained, "We need to talk."

 _By the stars, something_ was _wrong. But what? Hadn't it been going so well, just this morning?_

Inexperienced as I was with relationships - as well as I could remember - I knew those four words couldn't mean anything good.

Eyeing him warily, I folded my arms across my chest, "Alright…" "Good, good." He seemed unable to stay still, glancing furtively around the hut, "But, er, not here." "Julian, what's -" "Let's go to the market, shall we? More places to talk."

With his head bobbing, he reminded me of the raven from the tavern. Normally, the similarities would've been amusing, but right now...Sighing, I nodded, "Fine."

"After you, my dear." With narrowed eyes, I strode past the jumpy doctor. _What happened in the last few hours? What did I miss?_

The walk to the marketplace was quiet.

Even with Julian's gloved hand in mine, he felt distant. As he led the way, darting through foreign alleyways and corners, I focused on the magic running through my veins.

 _His aura felt...darker than yesterday. There was sadness, frustration and...regret? Did something happen while I was sleeping? What could I have possibly said in my sleep?_ According to Asra, I mumbled nonsense in my sleep. _The magician always enjoyed teasing me for it, claiming various sentiments that I'd expressed while unconscious._ The memory didn't make me feel any better.

Eventually, we emerged into a bustling scene.

"Whoa," I blinked at the colorful array of tents, haphazardly set-up against brick and stone. The crowded street appeared as if it'd been converted into a smaller version of the market in my neighborhood. A pair of children covered in dirt ran past us, laughing. The lively conversation came from all sides as we weaved through the masses, vendors and shoppers alike calling out to one another. A cart full of vegetables rolled past, nearly on my toes.

"Careful, now." Julian's voice came from beside me, hand tightening on mine. "Cassandra," I glanced up at him, biting my lip at the furrow in his brow, "about that talk-" We paused abruptly to let a group of tourists past, giggling over something in their hands.

"Julian-" I tried, but was cut off. _Again._ "Ah, wait, I nearly forgot." Julian nodded, using his right hand to dig into his pockets.

_He seemed reluctant to let go of mine._

"First things first." Triumphantly pulling a sheet of paper out, Julian straightened the parchment with a brief shake, "Mazelinka left a shopping list for us. Just a few ingredients to pick up." He scanned the sheet, humming thoughtfully.

I tugged him back to allow a couple to wander past, nodding respectfully as we made eye contact, "Morning."

"Aha, see here." I returned my attention to Julian, who was reading the list, "Pickled tingleberry...charred newt flesh...articulated goosewart…" Noticing my stare, he smiled, "She uses them for her folk remedies. Most effective pep up soup I've ever had." His smile grew, "And I've had a lot of soup."

Instead of reacting to the joke, I glanced down at the list in his hand.

_I knew those ingredients._

"Julian, does Mazelinka practice magic?"

_I knew the soup had smelled familiar. I've used similar ingredients for other potions!_

_Actually, I also need to pick up some goosewart, just in case._

"Those are all spell ingredients." The jars from the shop came to mind, rows of various herbs, and items for brewing. _Potions never had been my strong suit, compared to other forms of casting. Usually, Asra brewed what was needed before heading out on his next trip._

"What?" Julian reared back, almost bumping into a shorter man, "Sorry about that. No," He shook his head, "These are for medicine. Effective ingredients, too."

For a moment, I simply stared at the doctor. _What was so wrong with magic?_ I was almost tempted to press the subject.

_Was his curse the reason he was so against the idea? Was that why…?_

"In any case," I opted to change the topic, "they shouldn't be too hard to find…" I looked around the street, "Maybe. I don't know this area."

From our current position, there was no sign of a shop resembling ours. _No hint of magic being used in the surrounding area, either._

There was a faint tug from my magic, however, something familiar...

Julian abruptly lurched forward, tugging me back into the crowd.

"Don't worry. I've got a guy!" He called over his shoulder. "A guy?" I responded, raising my voice to make certain he'd hear. His grip remained firm around my hand, gentle but unrelenting.

"A guy!" He confirmed, voice deceptively light, close to his normal, jubilant self. _Close, but not quite._

"Important to have guys. People to rely on." We ducked under a low booth. _Or, more accurately, he ducked._

He muttered something else that I couldn't make out. "What?" I called, frowning. _Did he know where we were going?_

When we paused, I could feel Julian's gaze on me. "Julian, something is clearly bothering you. Did I -" Once more, I was interrupted.

As a vendor called out to Julian, I audibly groaned, rubbing my face with my free hand. _By the stars._ While the pair exchanged coins and goods for Mazelinka - _I made a mental note to return, the prices here were much cheaper_ \- I studied the impromptu market about us. As they passed, people would wave to the doctor, grinning and calling out friendly greetings. _So many people here knew him, were friendly with him. They knew he was innocent, that he wasn't a murderer._

 _Or,_ another voice chimed in, _they knew he_ was _a murderer and just didn't care._ A shiver ran up my spine.

_Wait, was that...mint?_

"Happy noon, Cassandra! What brings you here?" _I knew it._

"Inas," I turned my head to greet the tanned woman, smiling automatically, "afternoon. Finally back from your trip?"

She chuckled, one hand on her hip. In the other, she carried the familiar basket, already laden with various goods. "Answering my question with another question?" Inas was grinning, "Asra taught you well."

While she'd spoken in jest, something ached in my chest at the comment. Smoothing my features, I hoped her sharp eyes hadn't picked up on it. "Yeah, I was visiting family." Something crossed her face, "You're welcome to join me, next time...You and Asra."

My brow furrowed, "Inas, you know that -" A hand landed on my shoulder, and Inas's eyes widened. "You!" She gasped, a grin slowly stretching across her lips.

Julian frown in confusion, "Me?" He furtively looked around, but nobody seemed to be paying us any attention.

_As if anybody here would turn him in. If so, they would've done it already._

_And Inas had never given me a reason not to trust her._

"I heard you were back." Inas looked triumphant while Julian simply paled, grip unconsciously tightening on my bare shoulder. Placing my hand over his, I added, "You just returned and have already connected to the gossip mill?"

Inas paused, then laughed. "Ha! Somebody's in a good mood today."

Although her voice and smile were bright, there was something contemplative in the way her eyes flickered to our hands.

I dropped my hand to my side.

"Julian," I met his grey eye with a smile, "this is Inas, the woman I told you about earlier."

"Now, Cassandra," Inas shifted her basket to the other hip, "You've been talking about me? I'm flattered."

I rolled my eyes, "Inas, this is -" Julian stepped forwards, leaning down to extend a hand to the shorter woman.

_Then again, everyone was short compared to him._

"Doctor Julian Devorak," He announced with that trademark smirk of his, "Pleasure to meet a friend of Cassandra's."

Her dark eyes bounced between us for a moment until she mimicked his smirk, reaching out to shake his gloved hand firmly, "The pleasure is all mine, doctor. I've heard a lot about you, lately."

A farmer leading a pair of donkeys moved past us, and we moved into the shade of a nearby stall.

"Hell of a grip you've got." Julian grinned. "Thank you," Inas bowed her head briefly, "But it's a bit risky coming back here, isn't it doctor?" Her voice was deceptively light, "Being wanted for murder and all?" Julian stiffened as my stomach dropped.

_Inas was never one to mince her words, but to openly discuss it?_

"Actually, that's probably why you're back in Vesuvia." Inas shrugged, "But what do I know?"

I narrowed my eyes at the strange remark. _What exactly did she know?_ With a sigh, she glanced at the busy marketplace around us, gaze falling back onto me, "Anyways, Cassandra, while you're here I wanted to -" A loud noise cut her off, followed by the sound of barking and footsteps. "Watch it, kid!" A low voice roared angrily.

Inas sighed, "Maybe later. Nice meeting you, doctor."

The sun-speckled woman moved closer to jab a finger into Julian's leather-clad chest, "You better take care of her this time, doctor. Or else I won't be so nice, the next time we meet." Her gaze softened when she turned to me, pulling me into a tight embrace. "Be careful, Cass," She whispered in my ear.

With a final, too-bright smile, the woman disappeared into the flow of the crowd.

I glanced up at Julian, who was unusually quiet. "What did she mean, this time?" I asked, frowning.

_Why was everybody so cryptic?_

"I-I'm not sure," He ran a hand through his hair, looking just as troubled by the comment, "I've got a strange sense of deja vu, but I'm positive I've never met her before."

"Maybe you've seen her in Nevivon?" I suggested, biting my lip. _That wouldn't explain why she said "this time". I had only met Julian just last week...didn't I? Why would she warn me about him?_

I suddenly wished I hadn't eaten that bread and cheese from earlier.

Julian shook his head, "I haven't been back in years. Besides, I would've recognized her." He grinned half-heartedly, shooting me an over-exaggerated wink, "I'm an ace at remembering faces."

I sighed, stepping backwards, "Let's just -" "-tch it! Coming through!" Focused on the conversation and Inas's last remark, I didn't notice the rather large dog that darted between my legs until it was too late.

_Oh no._

Stumbling backward, my sandal caught on the edge of a tile, sending me back. _Okay, these sandals must be bad karma, or something…_ I squeezed my eyes shut, but the impact never came. At least, not in the way I expected.

_Leather and musk and...something else. Ink?_

Julian grabbed my upper arm, tightening to an almost painful degree as he pulled me into his chest. His arms wrapped around me, heel twisting on the spot. "Oof!" He coughed as his back hit the tile, shielding me from the brunt of the fall.

"Julian!" I called in concern, hands on his chest. Aside from my knee - _between his legs_ \- my body had been entirely shielded from the impact.

"Cassandra, are you alrig-" His visible eye noticed something behind us. "Oh noo."

Slowly, I turned my head to see the fruit cart beside us shudder, a single apple in the corner wobbling precariously. Together, we watched in silent horror as the apple fell from the cart, rolling to a stop at our feet. _It was going to -_

I barely heard Julian groan, "Oh, that's going to hurt." or the gasps from nearby spectators. "-tch out!" _Not on my watch._

Without hesitation, I twisted in our entangled position, raising both hands into the air. " _Waqt waqf!_ " I called, forcing the rising energy through my palms.

_Just like we practiced. Breathe in, then out._

_CRASH!_ Magic followed the rush of adrenaline through my limbs, sparking into a brilliant light.

I thought Julian called my name, but couldn't hear anything over the ringing in my ears. I couldn't even see anything past the piercing brightness.

As the light slowly died, limbs trembling, the apples began to speed up, spreading across the entire street. _Did it...did it work?_

The world around us returned to its normal pace, color and noise rushing around me in a dizzying turn.

 _It worked, I think it worked!_ "-andra! Are you alright?" Hands gripped my waist, carefully pulling me to my feet.

For a second, the world blurred, the ringing growing to a crescendo.

"Cassandra?"

Julian sounded far away, though I somehow knew he was standing right in front of me.

_He was safe._

Trying a new spell was always risky, but to attempt a time-spell with no preparation... _Good thing Asra wasn't here. But I'd done it! By the stars, I actually slowed time, even if just for a moment!_

Mercifully, everything returned to normal, a strange sense of pride and excitement coursing through me.

"Nothing hit you, did it? What did you do, just then?" Julian was saying, hands fluttering over my sides.

Blinking the remaining spots away - _that took more energy than I thought it would_ \- I placed my hands on his arms, unable to contain my grin, "I'm fine, great actually. Are you okay?" Julian's frown eased, and he nodded once, "Whatever you did...worked."

The dread from earlier returned at the strain in his voice, dampening my excitement from successfully casting such a complicated spell.

The doctor sighed, returning to his full height. With a wry smile, he said, "Guess I'm buying a fruit stand today."

After pouring an astonishingly large pile of coins into the harried vendor's hands - _an unusual mix of foriegn currency that likely amounted to a small fortune_ \- Julian faced the crowd that had amassed around us, various expressions of shock or astonishment on their faces.

"Free fruit!" He bellowed with a grin, plucking one of the apples from the ground to wave it in the air, "Come get your free fruit everyone!"

People descended upon the rarity - _free food_ \- with an explosion of noise and movement, excited cheers rising around us.

He quickly took my hand again, carefully leading me off the street. Before we left, however, I made sure to swipe two apples. _One for each of us._

In a nearby alley, Julian stopped. Without a word, he nimbly checked over each and every one of my limbs, taking a second to cradle my face in both his hands before examining my left arm.

"Julian..."

"You weren't hurt, right? You looked a bit dazed after...after that spell of yours. Everything still where it should be?"

With a sigh, I moved out of his probing range, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Julian, I'm fine. It was...it was just a spell."

_No need to worry him further, right now._

_Besides, the aftereffects were already gone. I really_ was _fine._

Grey met green, and the doctor nodded, shoulders slumping, "I'm sorry about that. I should've mentioned the streets can get rowdy."

He brightened suddenly, grinning, "I know! I can make it up to you. The next place is sure to knock off your socks."

_Next place? He must be eager to have this "talk"._

"Where's that?" I asked warily, keeping my arms folded.

"It's, uh, a nice little teahouse, down the way." Shifting from side to side, Julian gestured to the opposite street, "We can sit and...talk."

_That dreaded word._

I swallowed, watching various emotions play across his features. "It's cozy, you'll like it."

"I'd like to know what's going on." I muttered in a low voice.

Dropping my arms to my sides - _leaden weights_ \- I sighed for the countless time that morning. "Lead the way."

I knew my smile wasn't even close to convincing. _Neither was his._

Nerves jittering, I allowed the mysterious and jumpy doctor to guide us to our next destination.

 _This morning had started so nicely, too...Maybe ignorance_ is _bliss._

Our footsteps echoed through the empty alley, sunlight pouring through the gaps above our heads. The chaos of the crowd gradually grew quieter the further we walked.

_What no one will admit about bliss, however, is that it is temporary._

_Is that what Inas had meant?_ For some reason, I didn't think so.

_I would uncover the truth, even if it killed me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I couldn't wait until next Sunday...enjoy!


	20. Julian, Book 8: The Chariot, Behind the Scenes

The building was squished between a tailor's shop and a set of apartments. Reaching towards the clear sky, the narrow brick was well maintained, minuscule windows freshly cleaned and set in gleaming metal.

I was taken aback by the lack of an obvious door, the only sign being cracked panels of fresco; I scrunched my nose at the rather...graphic romance depicted. _Must be the place._

"It's still standing," Julian sounded surprised, "I used to come here all the time, back in the day."

Hand in mine, the doctor led me to the back of the building, still chatting animatedly, "It was an irresistible spot. High ceilings, great ambiance, little booths tucked away."

"It sounds lovely," I admitted.

He grinned down at me, stopping before a dilapidated wooden door, "And the underground, of course." He pushed the door open with ease, a long _creak_ echoing through the alley, "You could lounge around for hours down here, just talking."

"Of course there's an underground." I shook my head, smiling.

We picked our way down a flight of skinny steps, the daylight gradually replaced by dimly-lit lamps along the wall.

"And we, ahh, I've been meaning to say, we do-" Julian paused to duck under a rotted beam, turning to help me past the groaning wood. "We do need to talk." He finished lamely, looking down at our hands.

"So you keep saying." I remarked dryly, wondering how many times he'd said that particular phrase.

_And each time, my stomach was rung out like a soggy cloth._

Eyeing him warily, I watched Julian plant his foot on the stone wall in order to yank the next door open. It was made of thick, rusted iron, a strange sort of door for a tea shop.

_Were we supposed to be here…? Knowing Julian, probably not._

Nonetheless, I followed.

The light inside the room was even weaker, barely illuminating the wide space. Fabrics in bold patterns were draped across every available surface, covering oddly shaped items and furniture. Barrels were stacked in the back corner, and ropes of all shapes and sizes tied - I jumped when the iron door slammed shut behind us.

Hand on my heart, I asked, "Where are we?"

My lips twitched in amusement when Julian 'subtly' peered around the next corner in a borderline ridiculous stance. Pulling back, he frowned, "Well, ah, this is all very unlike the way I remember it."

"Place must've gone under." I commented, moving a faded pink fabric to make my way towards him. "Such a shame," Julian sighed, causing dust on the nearest barrel to soar into the air, "They used to serve this smoky tea that I haven't been able to find since."

As we carefully moved through the wreckage of the old shop, I tried to discern a theme in the surrounding objects. A serenely smiling, hammered metal moon. Huge bolts of fabric, sagging over a high-backed chair, flashing spears, an open chest of tin bells, and ragged feathers. _Weird._

"Now it seems to be some kind of an...oddities...artifacts...antiques? Emporium." Julian called, stepping nimbly over a fallen shield, cracked with age. Bending down, I nudged the item, surprised by the lightness of the metal. _If it even was made of metal to begin with._

"How embarrassing." He sighed, helping me into the next room, "It is still cozy, though."

Although there was more room to walk around, the space was just as cluttered by odds and ends. A towering, dusty mirror sat in the corner, settled beside what appeared to be a broken bed frame. I paused, frowning.

"Do you hear something?" _I could've sworn I heard voices._

"Now, what do we have here?" Julian was clearly distracted, leaning over to scoop an object from the ground.

In his hands was a doctor's mask, undoubtedly similar to his. _From the Plague._

Gloved hands fiddled with the black mask, turning it over to inspect each side. "It's not really a medical mask, is it?" He murmured, almost to himself.

 _It was similar, but not the same._ Unlike the one he'd thrown into the river, this mask was smaller, streaks of white across the outside in a decorative manner. _Even so, those red eyes..._ My gaze turned to Julian.

_How things have changed since._

"We used to stuff the beak with herbs," Julian shot a quick smile as if he'd nearly forgotten I was there, "With camphor and roses, you know, when we had them…" The smile vanished, "I think this one's just a statement piece."

"A bit soon, isn't it?" I commented, watching him stare into the glassy eyes of the mask. "Probably." He chuckled in agreement.

"Do you want to put it on?" I gestured towards the object, stepping closer. After a moment of shock, Julian grinned, "If you're suggesting that I miss the one I tossed to the eels, let me just say how much it _pains_ me that you caught me doing that, but..." His fingers caressed the beak with a careful detachment, "I think I will."

Turning on his heel, the towering doctor used the cloudy mirror to fasten the mask on.

Part of me wanted to ask him why it bothered him, knowing that I saw him throw the mask away. The reminder of my little breakdown in Mazelinka's hut - crying against his chest - convinced me to stay quiet.

 _We'd both seen each other vulnerable, exposed. Tired and emotional._ The garden played in my head, the faint sounds of water running and the beautiful glowing flowers…

"It doesn't bother me half as much in black." Julian's contemplative voice drew me from my thoughts, "And it certainly doesn't smell like any of the herbs we used." He adjusted the beak, voice slightly muffled, "Ha! Who would have thought that anyone would ever wear something like this for the aesthetic? I may not have contributed to the world of medicine, but I was making waves in the world of fashion."

I snorted, "Sure you did. Leather coats and bright red capes were all the rage."

Julian laughed, then turned to face me. Arms outstretched, he grinned, "So, how does it look?"

I raised a hand to cup my chin in mock thought, struggling to keep the smile from my lips.

The mask covered the upper half of his face, casting sharp shadows across his mouth and jaw. The beak curved downwards, feather-esque spikes coming from the top of the mask. Even with the creepy red glass eyes, he looked…"Decent." I allowed.

_Stop staring at his lips, Cassandra._

My face heated in the stuffy air, so I stepped past him to study the mirror. _Not that I cared, I just needed something else to look at._

A warm breath swept across the back of my neck and shoulders.

"Hmmm," I could feel Julian standing right behind me, a smirk in his tone, "You think it'd be hard to kiss with one of these?"

"Julian!" I nearly poked my eye on the edge of the beak at the speed at which I whipped my head around. _How embarrassing._ "What?" He drawled. I focused on my breathing when his hands lingered around my waist, sending a current through my body.

In a husky voice, he whispered in my ear, "Imagine kissing with two of them."

"You're a terrible flirt, you know that?" I couldn't help but laugh, hoping my fluster wasn't too obvious.

"Terrible, you say?" His fingers tightened against my hips.

Before I could react, I was spun around and pulled flush to his chest. One of his hands slid up to mine, the other rising to the small of my back.

"Julian, what -" I gasped. The world blurred as, without warning, I was dipped backward, secure arms keeping me less than a breath apart.

"How's this for terrible?" Julian was grinning from ear to ear, eyes hidden by the mask that curved past my ear. "Ever danced the tango, Cassandra?" He continued, sounding much too pleased with himself.

His smile faltered when I responded with a smirk of my own, using our position to move even closer. Beneath my rib cage, a rapid pace was already set, heat pooling in the pit of my stomach. My hands gripped the lapels of his coat, though the last thing I was thinking about was falling.

"Would you be surprised if I said yes?" I responded, breathless.

Slowly, I raised my leg to brush against his side, silently thanking the Arcana that I hadn't worn a skirt. Julian immediately stiffened, lips parted. "Isn't this how it goes?" I pulled myself closer, tilting my head back, only to straighten slowly as my leg wrapped fully around his waist.

I smirked when I noticed his throat bob, going uncharacteristically quiet. _What was it about Julian that we always ended up in these...types of situations?_

I was having too much fun to be overly embarrassed, though I knew I would play this over and over in my mind's eye at a later date.

"What do you say, Julian? Want to dance?"

My hands found themselves around his neck, fingers burying themselves into the thick curls.

"I...Yes. I do."

I likely took far too much pleasure in the tone of his voice, the shrinking distance between us.

"Then k-" A loud wail came from somewhere behind us, cruelly interrupting the rising tension.

_This was getting ridiculous._

Julian frowned, head turning towards the noise. I groaned quietly, reluctantly untangling myself.

_Every time we got close to finally kissing..._

_There were more important things,_ I tried to remind myself, _than a simple kiss...not that this moment was "simple" in any shape or form._

Even though we hadn't done anything besides stand very, very close to one another, I felt as if I'd run a marathon.

"It's coming from over there." He murmured softly, nodding towards a curtain I hadn't noticed before. _Granted, I'd been slightly...preoccupied._

The wailing seemed to crescendo, growing louder and shriller.

Whether it was my disappointment or something else, the cry sounded too exaggerated to ring true or inspire genuine concern. To my surprise, Julian turned away from the sound to face me. His hand met my face, gently running his thumb across my cheek and lingering at the corner of my lips.

"Remind me later," He whispered, "that I owe you a dance."

"I'll hold you to it." I responded softly, smiling.

"Now," He cleared his throat. I tried not to be too disappointed when he spun around, voice rising in exaggerated excitement, "Let's go see what the commotion is about." He fixed the mask as if out of habit. _I supposed it was._

Carefully, we picked our way through the maze of objects, the strangely fake wailing growing louder. A set of heavy curtains were parted, the noise and a thin beam of red light coming through. We exchanged a silent look, then moved to peer through the opening.

Beyond the curtain was a shredded bed under a tinted spotlight, the surrounding area too dark to properly make out. In the center laid a man, draped in scarlet robes and heaving in supposed anguish.

As he raised his head, I noticed the blonde wig and painted mask, a porcelain creation of streaked mascara and makeup.

"Wait in my room? On my birthday?" The actor cried, "What do you expect me to do all night in here? Clomp around in my hooves? Beg the busboy for table scraps? If I can't disgust anyone doing it, what's the point?"

Julian raised a hand to cover his laughter, "Oh my gods, that's fantastic. It sounds just like him."

 _So, this was meant to be...the Count?_ I returned the smile, glancing back towards the actor.

_Everything I've heard about the Count was less than flattering. Even Nadia didn't seem overly fond of her ex-husband._ _But...how well had Julian known him?_

_To even be considered for his murder, he must've had access to the Count's room, though during a big party...that wouldn't be too difficult._

Even in death, the audience appeared to be loving the portrayal; the rafters were packed with laughing people, barely visible in the dim surrounding light. _No love lost, especially in this part of town._

"I'm glad to see the arts are flourishing," Julian chuckled, "A renaissance seems to have begun while I've been away. But…"

He frowned at the stage, "if this is Lucio on his birthday night, then you don't suppose this is a show about the murde-Ah!" The audience burst into laughter as a sandbag dropped between us, sending a thick powder into the air. There was a loud whirl of rope, and Julian's cry of surprise grew fainter.

It felt like only a second or two had passed, but the next thing I knew, Julian was...gone?

Coughing, I attempted to wave away the powder that threatened to simultaneously blind and choke me. "Julian?" I tried to call, nearly sending myself into another coughing fit. _This damned powder…_

Once I recovered, my jaw dropped in shock.

While he had only just been standing beside me, Julian was now _above the stage_.

Hanging in the air with a rope around his ankle - it must've moved with the sandbag - the gangly doctor swung from side to side, arms flailing. Both the audience and the actor were equally stunned, judging by the sudden descent of silence.

"Julian!" I called, barely keeping myself from running onto the lit stage in order to... _What? Stop and think, Cassandra. What can you do here?_

Julian began thrashing like a worm on a hook, knocking something free from his boot. A shiny object fell into his waiting hand, and he curled upwards towards the rope. _A knife. He must've moved it from his pocket after our conversation in the shop...either that, or he had multiple knives on his person, which was completely plausible._

With a grunt, Julian severed the rope, falling almost perfectly beside the actor splayed across the stage bed. _Nice!_ I cheered silently at the quick maneuver, then glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. _Everyone's attention was on the stage, of course._

"Doctor Devorak!" The actor playing the Count burst into action, loud voice echoing across the space, "Here to cure my boredom!" He fell across Julian's lap, a dramatic hand across his forehead.

The theater burst into noise again, shrieking laughter and applause ringing in my ears. _Well played. Now...how would Julian react?_ Somehow, I already knew.

My suspicions were confirmed when he glanced in my direction, a slow smirk breaking through the shock. _He was going to do what he did best._

_Improvise._

With a bark of laughter, Julian rose to his knees on the mattress, easily looming over the 'Count'. "My poor, poor patient," His voice dropped to something deeper and supposedly menacing, "The clock strikes thirteen for you tonight." Grabbing the edge of his glove, he pulled it back and released the material, a loud _snap_ coming from the movement. _Hm..._

The actor fell backward, aghast. "I've come to end your suffering." Julian bellowed, sounding as if he was having far too much fun with the impromptu role.

Hand over his chest, the actor responded, "What are you going to do? Smother me with your thighs?"

I covered a burst of laughter at the comment, shoulders shaking with the effort. _By the stars._ Julian shot a smile in my direction, having apparently noticed my amused outburst.

Seemingly rejuvenated, the doctor-playing-doctor shook his head, curls falling into his face, "For the hundredth time, no."

The pair on stage flew into a ridiculous tussle, feathers flying into the air. I was barely able to breathe, hand wrapped around my waist as I laughed. _I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. Ow, ow, it hurt!_ My grin was broad and uncontrollable, an aching sort of pleasure.

After some mild hair-pulling, the fake Count reared back, drawing a wobbly wooden sword from behind the bed. "Give me a real fight, man to man! We'll see who takes the last gasp." He declared, the sword visibly shaking in his grip. Julian grinned, leaping from the bed with ease.

"If it's a fight you want, it's a-Oh." He paused when a stagehand in black scurried onto the stage, presenting Julian with another sword. The man darted back onto the other side, disappearing into the darkness.

I nearly jumped when somebody moved beside me; the woman in black, another stagehand presumably, shot me a strange look. Channeling my inner Julian, I grinned at her, jerking my thumb in the doctor's direction, "I'm here with him." She shrugged wordlessly, turning back to whatever task she'd been working on.

_I can't believe that worked._

"En guarde!" I heard Julian call, and turned my attention back to the stage.

_I don't recall ever going to the theater before, but this was fantastic._

The two men moved back and forth in front of the bed, swinging the wooden swords wildly.

_Maybe it was because one of the actors was Julian. By the stars, he would make an incredible actor. Seems to enjoy it, too._

Judging by his expression, Julian was having the time of his life, mock fighting the actor. _His aura was brighter, too, adrenaline and joy racing through the streaks of anxiety and darker shades._ Carefully leaning against a wooden post, I watched the scene with a smile on my lips, a strange warmth in my chest.

"Not bad," Julian remarked, "I might just give you a chance." The sword from the blonde actor flew through the air, the man himself collapsing dramatically onto the bed. Julian placed a boot on his chest, sword aimed at his neck.

"A chance to speak your last words. Choose them carefully, Lucio."

In response, 'Lucio' held up his hands, stuttering, "Is it money you want, Doctor? Fine things? We're friends, aren't we? I'm very generous, you know, and I've, I've always liked you best! What's mine is yours!" The audience laughed once more.

Beneath the mask, Julian scowled, "This may surprise you, but some of us don't kill for money."

 _He was really getting into this._ My smile faded.

"Some of us kill to make up for not doing it sooner."

Swinging the sword in the vicinity of the actor's neck, the man playing the Count began to convulse. With a disturbingly convincing wet gurgle, 'Lucio' went limp, head lolling to the side. My stomach churned unpleasantly.

As I pushed myself off of the wooden post - nearly running into the stagehand from before - Julian lowered the wooden sword. _Was it just me or did he look a little...green?_

It was getting to be a little too real, especially after our sobering conversation just this morning.

"Oh, well...that was...easier than I thought it'd be." He glanced around the stage, sword falling to his side, "Now what? I can't just go unpunished."

 _Is that what he believes -_ Movement erupted beside me, and three women dressed in armor almost knocked me over in their haste. Julian tensed at the appearance of other people on the stage as one of them yelled, "Guards, hang him!" My stomach rolled once more, amusement gone.

_When he find him, the doctor will die in the gallows._

"But not like this!" Julian dropped the sword with a clatter, spinning on his heel to run offstage. _On the other side. Time to go, then._ The crowd's cheering wasn't nearly as enjoyable as before, following me as I slipped out of the theater.

Once outside, my back hit the brick wall. My heart beat a rapid pattern against my chest to an almost painful degree, and I closed my eyes to focus on my breathing.

 _I needed to find Julian and -_ Said doctor emerged from the very door in which I'd escaped, no sign of the decorative mask. "Cassandra," He breathed, moving towards me, "There you are."

Running a hand through his hair, he laughed breathlessly, "What a trip. I think I'm still one foot in the meta realm." He looked a little disturbed, which was more than fair. _I think I was, too._ He shrugged after a moment, smiling, "Well, no one seems to think it was really me. Was the neighborhood always this skeptical?"

His eye met mine, smile faltering. "So, this wasn't what I had in mind." Despite myself, I chuckled, "That's a safe assumption."

I paused when he stepped closer, gloved hands gently taking mine, "Let me try this again." My heart nearly stuttered again at the expression he leveled towards me, grey eye practically burning with its intensity.

"Cassandra."

"Yes?" I wondered why I sounded so out of breath.

"I'd like to head over to the Rowdy Raven for a bite to eat. If you'd be so forgiving as to join me? My treat, of course." His gaze dropped to our hands, "And after that...a...a nice walk to the docks. How does that sound?"

My smile fell at the reminder. _Right, that little "talk" he kept mentioning._

My stomach rumbled just as I opened my mouth to respond, sending a wave of heat across my cheeks. _The timing._ Julian chuckled.

"Okay, Julian. As long as you promise to tell me what's been on your mind later."

The auburn-haired doctor sobered, nodding slowly, "I promise."

As we began to walk out of the alley, hand in hand, I added, "Also, I'm paying for dinner. You already bought an entire fruit cart, today."

Julian only tossed his head back, laughing.

"I mean it!" My frown easily transformed into a smile at the sound of his laughter. "Not a chance." He responded, hand gently tightening around mine. When my heart flipped again, I wasn't sure if it was the nerves or something else entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter than usual, but as always, let me know what you think! -CB


	21. Julian, Book 8: The Chariot, Dock Talk

Julian walked a few feet ahead of me, waves lapping at his boots. His silhouette cast long shadows across the sand, moonlight illuminating his broad shoulders and messy curls.

The meal had gone quicker than I would've liked, the conversation focused on the food and other surface-level topics. Julian had been uncharacteristically quiet, occasionally studying my face when he thought I wasn't looking. _As if he was trying to remember it, before..._

I wrapped my arms around myself, the next gust of wind eliciting goosebumps along the exposed skin.

_As much I wanted to know the truth, I was confident that it wasn't going to be anything good._

My thoughts traced our footsteps, back through the city at night to the brief moment of peace in Mazelinka's hut. Water lapped at my bare feet, sandals preemptively taken off at the edge of the beach. Julian smiled but hadn't commented on the behavior.

_The tension that had been building all day, from Inas's cryptic remark to Julian's odd behavior, was about to crash over us._

_Who knew what the aftermath would be like?_

The dread was an uncomfortable burden, weighing upon my shoulders and coiling in my gut.

About a half-mile away from the main pier, we reached a smaller dock.

The rotting wood creaked beneath our feet as we moved to the end. "Be careful, Cassandra. Don't want splinters in your feet." Julian said, turning his head to watch. His hand raised into the air, hesitant, only to fall back to his side.

Stepping over a gap in the pier, I tried to smile, "That'd be just my luck, wouldn't it?" I was taken aback by the weariness that escaped; so was Julian, judging by his expression.

With a bitter chuckle, he ran a hand through his hair, "You do seem to have incredibly bad luck." Something darker crossed his features, and his shoulders slumped, "Especially when it comes to me."

We fell silent once more.

After a moment, Julian held out a hand to help me down, settling us at the edge of the dock. Our legs dangled over the edge, his boots brushing across the water's surface.

I closed my eyes, allowing the breeze to sweep across my face and arms. _I've always loved the water, but..._ I heard Julian sigh before his low voice rumbled, "Feel that breeze. It's a nice night for sailing, don't you think?"

_Were we going to talk about the weather first? Fine, if it helped._

"I'll take your word for it," I replied, opening my eyes, "I've never been sailing before."

Julian looked down at me, "Really?"

"Really." I shrugged half-heartedly, "Like I said, the past three years I've spent here, tending to our shop and…" I swallowed, "trying to remember everything else, I suppose."

_Or trying to pretend that I wasn't missing anything. Trying to pretend I wasn't incomplete, broken._

"That's a shame," Julian shook his head, falling quiet. His gaze dropped to the water.

In the moonlight, the surface was a glittering mystery, the reflection hiding whatever creatures swam beneath.

"Cassandra, listen...we, uh, we really need to talk."

"So I've gathered." I said, frowning, "Are you finally going to tell me? You've been dancing around it all day."

Julian's shoulders curled further around himself, ears darkening, "I guess I was enjoying myself too much to take the plunge."

My chest ached slightly at the admission. "I had fun today, too." I added softly, staring down at our swaying feet.

_It was hardly a conventional outing, but it always like that with Julian. I...really enjoyed spending time with him, probably too much._

_Seeing him in the city, in the theater, smiling and dashing about...it was nice._

_He looked happy._

"You did?" He asked, smiling, "Even the part where we destroyed a fortune worth of fruit? Or accidentally crashed a play?"

"Especially that." I grinned back, "Even though I've lived here for who knows how long, it feels like I'm seeing the city for the first time."

Leaning over to nudge his shoulder, I added, "Must be the company. People seem to love you." Julian nodded, "They're good people. Hardworking, dedicated…"

He frowned, looking down, "but covering for me is putting them in danger. I know they'd take any chance to get back at the palace, and I can't fault them for that...but if anything happened to them because of my mess..."

I watched his brow furrow, and resisted the sudden temptation to smooth the knot away.

"Cassandra," He sighed, "I'm a disaster waiting to happen. And…" The dread returned, full force. "I don't want that disaster to happen to you, too."

I shook my head, "You're not a disaster, Julian. Unpredictable, yes." We exchanged a half-hearted smile, "But not a disaster." _Quite the opposite._

Frankly, it scared me how much of my life had changed since meeting the doctor. Even with how complicated it all was - him, wanted for a murder I didn't believe he committed and me, a confused apprentice searching for answers to her own mysteries - I wouldn't trade our time for anything.

_Wasn't that just as terrifying?_

Instead of responding, he used his free hand to point towards something across the water, leaning closer.

"See that?" I nodded silently. Under the full moon, the island was surprisingly visible, a dark tower rising from the center.

Something about it made my heart beat faster. _Why did it look familiar? Why did I suddenly want to cry?_ Shaking away the strange sensation, I focused my attention onto the man beside me. His warmth radiated from beneath his coat, a pleasant contrast to the night's chill.

"That's the Lazaret. It's...where the city sent their infected, during the height of the plague."

I shivered when the breeze picked up again.

"A perfect monument to my failures, always visible from the shore...always reminding the city how much we suffered. Every death, every person burnt in those piles is another mark against me." He grinned, but there was no joy in that smile, "And there were so many marks."

"It's not your fault -" Julian cut me off, shaking his head violently. Curls fell into his face, concealing his expression. "I don't want to drag this out, Cassandra. This -" He retracted his hand, drawing it into his lap, "Whatever it was, whatever it could have been."

Despite the blood rushing to my ears, his voice was crystal clear, "It has to end, before it's too late for you." The bitter grin returned, "I'm only going to end up hurting you somehow. I know it."

_You're hurting me now._

"I'm not afraid of pain. Besides, you're not -"

Once more, he interjected before I could finish my sentence, "You shouldn't be so cavalier with your own safety, Cassandra."

It was my turn to grin, my frustration sharpening the edges of my words into daggers, "You're one to talk, Julian. You throw yourself into anything that resembles danger." I crossed my arms as if it would ease the growing pain.

"What you're doing isn't healthy. Pushing me away doesn't do anything _but_ hurt me. Hurt both of us."

His visible eye widened, jaw clenching.

 _This was what he wanted to talk about? He was just going to...to leave? We spent the whole day together, while he knew, he_ planned _to leave._

"I'm only trying to protect you -" I cut him off, shaking my head, "I don't need protection, Julian." The ache grew worse, pricking at the back of my eyes. Julian sighed, looking down at his hands in his lap.

In a heart-breakingly soft voice, he said, "It's all I can offer you, Cassandra."

"I'm not a good man," He struggled to continue, hands curling into fists, "The things I've done…"

"Julian," I turned my body to face him, placing a hand on his arm. He looked up in surprise. "You didn't kill the Count."

_I didn't have the evidence yet, and yes, my feelings may be playing a part in this...but I knew it to be true._

_It_ had _to be true._

His lips parted, eyebrows furrowing, "I-What?" Julian pulled away from my touch, frowning, "How would you know, Cassandra? You see the best in people but...I've done something unforgivable. I must have, where else does this pit in my stomach come from?"

"Julian…" I whispered, but he continued on doggedly, "I won't have you come down this path with me. You deserve better than that."

"Why are you so determined to push me away?" I demanded, hearing my own voice rise in frustration.

None of the reasons he'd given me so far had anything to do with us, whatever we were _. 'I'm dangerous. I'll hurt you', etc etc. Was he just looking for the right excuse?_

 _I needed to know the truth, whatever that may be._ Fear rushed through me, joining the internal cacophony.

"Julian," I frowned, pulling my legs from the edge of the dock to completely face the stubborn man I'd grown to care about. _Fear be damned._

"Do you want me?" I demanded, blinking away the tears that threatened to blur my vision.

In another situation, his reaction would've been comical; the taller man started, just about falling off the small pier before catching himself at the last minute. Gripping the rotted wood tightly, he turned his astonished and flustered gaze towards me.

"I-what?" His cheeks darkened under the moonlight, eye gleaming, "Did you...I must've misheard you."

"I asked," I scowled, making sure to clearly enunciate each word, "if you wanted me."

"Ooh, so, erm, I didn't mishear." Julian refused to meet my eyes, rubbing the back of his neck, "Strange question to ask when I'm breaking up with you, isn't it?"

"Is that what this is?" I asked. He frowned, "I guess it's not really a break-up, we never...never had anything to start with." _Ouch._ "Just a night or two stolen from time."

In the back of my mind, I realized that he was trying to convince himself just as much as me, but the words still stung.

Julian looked every bit the coiled spring, all points of tension and stiffness. "Do I want you...do I want you? That's a tough question to answer." He murmured.

"If it's that difficult to decide…" I blinked away the blurriness and aching, turning my head away. _It hurt too much to watch him make up his mind._

_What was it with the people in my life? What did I keep doing wrong, that they felt they had to push me away? To run, far, far away._

I thought of Asra, the countless times I'd mournfully watched his back disappear into the night, the dream-conversation we'd had.

_The inevitable rejection._

"I want you to be safe."

Those same, horrible words - the very ones Asra used to keep me at a distance - spilled from Julian's lips.

 _I want you safe._ "I want you to stay out of this whole mess. I want…"

I sucked in a shuddering breath. _What about me made it so difficult to care? To just...stay?_

_I wasn't completely helpless. Was I that much of a burden?_

_No wonder I was always so alone….maybe that's why I'd been clinging to Julian, his warmth and energy. His infectious smile and gentle touch..._

_Had I been relying on him too much, just as I have with Asra? Is that why…?_

The sound of the waves crashing against the dock echoed in my ears.

"It doesn't matter what I want." Julian bit his lip.

"Of course it does." I argued, rubbing at my temples. A high-pitched ringing had begun in the back of my head, an early indication of an impending headache. "And you didn't answer my question."

At this, Julian smiled, eye crinkling in amusement. "Tenacious, aren't you?"

He tilted his head down at me, almost fondly, "It's one of the things I like about you. No matter what happens, you keep moving forwards." His voice grew softer, quieter, "You're like this brilliant light, drawing me towards you."

He shifted closer, our shoulders brushing, "I just can't help myself."

I swallowed, struggling to regain my composure from the emotional whiplash. _Back and forth, like the tides._

Finally, I managed, "Answer the question, Julian….Please." I was sure I came off as desperate, whether it be the edge to my voice or my expression. Tears threatened to escape, gathering at the corner of my eyes.

Julian sighed, and I looked down to where his hand covered mine. The breeze swept across us, stray hairs blowing into my line of vision.

"If I were a stronger man…" With his free hand, Julian silently tucked the violet hair behind my ear, hand lingering, "If I wasn't so weak….but I just can't stay away from you."

Even at our proximity, I was scarcely able to hear when he admitted, "I want you."

My own breath hitched audibly.

"I know it's only been a short time, Cassandra, but I feel like I've known you for years." _Me too._

"Is it because you put me at ease?" His lips curled upwards, "That's hard to do, you know." His fingers brushed my cheekbone gingerly, as if I were made of glass. "I want to be around you. I, erm, can't stop thinking about you, even when you're not there."

I felt myself smile, a lone tear slipping down my face. He caught it, sweeping the moisture away with the flick of his finger.

"That's the problem, Cassandra." The twinge in my chest spiked. "Problem?" I echoed, pulling back.

"I'm torn in two, Cassandra," His strained voice tugged at my aching heartstrings, "My brain tells me to leave, but my heart keeps pulling me back."

 _Then stay._ I couldn't get the words past my trembling lips, hands twisting into the fabric of my pants.

I heard him chuckle lowly, tilting his head back to look up at the moon. "If I think about it," He rumbled, "I can see the path our story would take."

I wiped at my face quietly. "So why…" He trailed off, shoulders slumping, as if he could hide himself away from me. _From us._

"If I walk away from you now," My stomach flipped at the forced lightness to his tone, "will I stay away? If I drop my guard, will I find myself walking right back to you?" He shook his head, "That's what makes me so selfish."

I frowned, "Julian -" "Because whatever we could have had, whatever possibilities...they'll only lead to ruin."

For someone so physically close - _close enough to touch_ \- he felt so very far.

"That's the kind of man I am." "I don't believe that. Julian, you're -" I nearly growled in frustration when the stubborn man interrupted me for the thousandth time. His grin was empty, words hollow, "There's no future for us that doesn't end in pain for you."

The haunting image of Julian on the gallows flashed before my eyes, twisting the metaphorical knife further into my chest.

_No, no, I would find the evidence to prove his innocence. I would._

Throwing his own words back at him, I said, "You don't know that. What future do _you_ want?" "I told you, it doesn't matter what I want."

"I disagree," I found myself facing him once more, wiping more tears from my face. _To hell with my appearance right now. He'd seen me worse than this, anyways. And he had stayed, then…_

"Can't you see anything else? Or," I scowled, gesturing wildly out towards the ocean, towards the island, "Is it all just tragedy?"

Julian laughed humorlessly, "Tragedies are what I'm best at, my dear." The wind howled around us, moonlight growing dimmer. "I'm the star in my own one-man play." He declared with arms outstretched, "It's what will happen."

"In this world, we don't get what we want. Why waste time imagining something you can't ever have?"

Chest heaving, I asked, "So you're just going to give up? Before it...before this could even start?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but I covered his mouth with my hand, shaking my head, "No, you just admitted that you want me too, that you want this. Can't we at least try?"

Julian pulled away, "I don't dare hope. It just makes it hurt more when you don't get it."

I nearly screamed, right then and there. _I'm right here!_ I wanted to shake him out of...whatever this was, but he'd already made up his mind.

_Already decided for the both of us, without even asking me what it is I wanted._

_Just like Asra, like everybody in my damned life._

"Try." I pleaded, "For me. Please, Julian. It doesn't have to be like this." Julian turned his head away, letting out a bark of laughter. Running a hand through his hair, he stared off into the horizon, lips curled back, "What do you want to hear from me, Cassandra? That I want...that I want a future? That I want to live?"

"That…" He peered at me from beneath his lashes, eye gleaming with unshed tears, "that I want something from you?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed loudly, voice echoing across the water as I threw my hands into the air, "That's exactly what I want."

Julian stood abruptly, forcing me to scramble after him, nearly falling into the water. "You'll survive, Cassandra." Julian began pacing up and down the small dock, shaking his head over and over again, "You were fine before I got here. You'll be fine after I've left." _He refuses to listen._

My fists clenched, and I bowed my head, struggling and failing to control my breathing. My magic swelled to the surface, reacting to the tidal wave of emotion.

Footsteps echoed across the wood, followed by a pair of hands on my arms.

"Cassandra?" Julian sounded concerned, grip tight but careful, "Are you...are you alright?"

I sucked in a slow breath, nails digging into the skin of my palms. _Breathe, Cassandra. In and -_ "Of course I'm not." I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks, stray strands of hair sticking to the moisture, but found it impossible to care.

Without opening my eyes, I felt him free the hair from their watery prison, tucking them out of the way. His hand lingered at the crook of my neck and shoulder before disappearing.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Cassandra. It's for the better, I promise."

Finally, I opened my eyes, lifting my chin to meet his hesitant gaze.

"No, it's not. You're just scared." I wrapped my arms around myself, "Not of hurting me, but just...scared. That's why you're so insistent on pushing me away, feelings be damned."

His eye widened, whether at the unexpected curse or the harsh sentiment, but I just shook my head. Julian raised his hand as if to reach for mine again, lowering it just as quickly.

In a low voice, he said, "I'll...walk you home." Sniffling, I took a moment to study the man before me.

My heart was aching something terrible, as if each rejected attempt to reason with him had squeezed the organ tighter and tighter, until it was impossible to breathe or think or... _Nothing I say will change his mind._

_He's going to leave me, no matter what._

Rubbing angrily at my face, I sighed slowly. For a second, I simply tried to relish the cool breeze across my wet face and shaking hands. Julian watched me with apprehension and something else, shoulders slumped with the weight of his own emotions.

_Good. He's hurting both of us for...what?_

"Don't bother, Julian." Turning on my heel, I strode past the ridiculous man, vision blurring once more.

"Cassandra!" I heard him call, heard his boots pound against the rotting pier. I stepped nimbly over the gap in the wood, moving as quickly as my legs would allow. "Leave me alone!" I called back, refusing to check behind me, "I'm just giving you what you want."

"Cassandra," Julian's voice cracked, and a hand grabbed my arm, spinning me to face him, "It's not safe out there. Let me -" "No," I all but yelled, yanking my arm back with unexpected force. I stumbled backward, ignoring the pain written across his face.

"I can make it back to the shop by myself, Julian. If you get over….this," I waved limply in his direction, "You know where to find me."

The bitterness was borderline metallic against my lips, and I half-expected to find blood.

When Julian didn't say anything - he only stared at me with a shining eye, one hand over his chest, the other hanging by his side - I turned and left.

I ended up running across the sand barefoot, the ground beneath me eventually changing into courser dirt and gravel.

_Those sandals were nothing but bad luck, anyways._

Even with blurred vision, I managed to make it to the shop. I heard, more than felt, myself gasping when I reached the familiar building. Leaning over, I took a moment to catch my breath, feeling incredibly weak.

_My limbs were hollow, as if everything inside had been balled up and shoved into the pit of my stomach._

_And Julian hadn't followed...of course not. Why did I keep expecting otherwise?_

As I slowly rose, my brow furrowed. _The shop...the lights were on._

 _Had I...left the lanterns on again? I could've sworn -_ The faint scent of cinnamon and cardamom reached me, and my eyes widened. _Asra? Asra was back? Already?_

I rapidly swiped at my face, nearly rubbing the skin raw in order to remove any evidence of the disastrous night. _That was putting it lightly. This morning had begun so sweetly...No._ I shook my head vehemently, then stopped to smooth down my windswept hair.

 _Pull yourself together, Cassandra. No need to worry Asra, especially as he likely only just returned._ Maybe if I'd had more energy, or the emotional capacity, I would've wondered why his trip had been so short compared to normal.

Instead, I quietly let myself in, making sure to lock the door behind me.

The store was deliciously warm, a thin trail of incense wafting down from the staircase. I sucked in another long breath, hoping to slow my erratic pulse.

_I wanted to cry all over again, standing here, in our little shop. It felt like weeks since the last time I was here._

My fingers brushed along the counter as the lantern beside the staircase flickered to life. Asra poked his head down the stairwell, a bright grin stretched across his face. "Back from your jaunt at the palace?"

Stepping quickly down the narrow steps, Asra smiled warmly, "Welcome home, Cassandra."

_Home?_

Without hesitation, Asra wrapped me in a gentle hug, the sweet scent lingering around him. My lower lip trembled, and I allowed my head to rest against his chest.

_This was home._

"It's..it's nice to be back."

I internally winced when my voice cracked. _So much for pretending._

As predicted, Asra immediately tensed, pulling back to study my expression. He frowned, amethyst eyes piercing right through my fragile mask. _It was impossible to hide anything from him._

"I recognize that look." Reaching up, his hand softly brushed against my face.

He frowned at the moisture on his fingertips. _Whoops._ "Cassandra, what happened?"

For a moment, I was unable to speak, trembling in his arms. I could practically feel his worry mounting, fingers tracing eerily familiar circles against my skin.

"I…" I cleared my throat, keeping my eyes on the jewel around his neck.

 _I'd bought that for his last birthday. He was ridiculously happy by the simple present, refusing to take it off for anything in the world._ I peered down at my shaking hands. _I'd done the same with the emerald bracelet he'd given me._

_I forgot it was on my wrist, sometimes._

"Cassandra," Asra's lilted voice was a surprising comfort in my current state, even with the concern lacing his tone, "What is it?" _Years ago, I wished for an accent like his, like the people born and raised in Vesuvia, but no such luck. We'd even made the occasional joke about it._

His magic swirled against my skin, likely performing a subtle scanning spell for any injuries.

 _Who is he to anyone?_ Asra's words from earlier echoed, though I couldn't tell from which memory. _He's a hack physician with a lot to learn. Until he does, nothing good will come of him._

Julian's face flashed in my mind's eye, pained and reluctant. _This was his parting gift to me. A curse from a witch who fears commitment._

"Are you-What happened to your shoes?" I followed his gaze to my feet, then laughed humorlessly. "Oh, right."

Tanned fingers gradually lifted my chin to meet Asra's gaze, "I...Julian left me."

His eyebrows furrowed, lips twitching at the name. "Julian?" Recognition lit his features, and suddenly his face was closing, a cold mask shuddering into place.

"You two were…?" He trailed off, releasing his gentle grip.

As he stepped back, something in my chest clenched painfully.

 _My heart felt as if it was being squeezed once more, an iron grip._ Stranger still, I felt…. _angry?_ The heated wave swept through me fast enough to leave me dizzy.

I leaned against the counter, blinking the sudden spots away. _By the stars, what was that?_ Even during my...argument with Julian - _too soon_ \- I hadn't felt that level of intensity, however brief.

_If I didn't know better, I would've described the feeling as...hate._

_B_ _ut hate for what?...Or who?_

Asra exhaled slowly, pale hair concealing his face. I thought I saw his hands curl into fists, but they were gone before I could be sure.

"Asra," I closed the space between us, unsure of what I even wanted to say, or why I felt so.. _.guilty._ I frowned when he didn't move, simply watching me cup his face.

"Asra? Are _you_ okay?"

He placed a hand over mine, trapping my hand against his cheek. Closing his eyes, he seemed to lean into the touch, a smile flickering unsteadily across his lips.

 _Should I apologize? What for? Should I -_ "Want to come upstairs and talk about it?" Asra interrupted the increasingly panicked stream of thoughts softly, any warring emotions erased from his expression. _I guess he didn't want to talk about it._

"I made your favorite tea. You look like you could use it."

_I could only imagine. Barefooted and tear-stained, wild windswept hair...I was a mess, inside and out._

Wordlessly, I nodded. _Besides, a_ _cup of tea sounded like heaven._

Asra studied my expression, then smiled, "Let's go upstairs, then. Faust has missed you, too." Despite the amused tone, something still felt off about his demeanor, "Almost more than she missed me." He shook his head, curls swaying with the movement.

Sniffling, I returned the smile, wondering what had caused the sudden shift in my master. _Last time, the mere mention of Julian had been enough to sour his mood._

Before we could reach the staircase, however, a knock sounded at the front door.

My neck ached at the speed in which I turned, an intense painful hope racing through me. _By the stars, was it…? Could it be…?_ Asra shot me a look, then quietly moved to check.

_That's the thing about hope._

My unnaturally lightened heart plummeted at the sight of a shorter, curvy woman at the door.

_Not Julian._

"Inas?" Asra tilted his head, "Is everything alright?"

I moved closer, prompted by curiosity and the almost desperate need to ignore the painful letdown I'd set myself up for.

 _Inas rarely visited this late._ She appeared rather solemn, fixing the fluffy-haired magician with dark eyes, "Asra, they're coming to the Masquerade."

Although I couldn't see his face, I noted his hand tightening on the doorknob, the sudden tension to his shoulders.

_Who was coming?_

Inas stiffened, as if she hadn't realized I was there. _Oh, had I spoken out loud?_

"C-Cassandra," It was odd seeing the normally confident woman so jumpy. Her eyes flickered from me to the elder magician, "I-uh -"

"An old friend of ours." Asra tried to smile. I frowned. _Then why act so suspicious about it? Why would she come so suddenly, so late in the night for this?_

"Right," I drawled, crossing my arms over my chest. _I was calling bull-_ "Cassandra," Asra turned to me, hand still on the door, "Why don't you go upstairs? I'll meet you up there in just a moment."

My mouth dropped open. _Was he - Was he sending me away?_

 _For a conversation with Inas?_ _He never -_ I blinked when Asra didn't move, waiting patiently for me to recover.

 _He really..._ Something crossed his expression as the frustration from earlier returned, swirling with the lingering confusion and exhaustion.

My shoulders slumped, and I turned away from the pair, "Fine."

I knew I was acting childishly - Inas called 'goodnight' and I didn't respond - but it had been a long day. _Or more accurately, a long, emotionally draining night._ Thus, I slipped quietly upstairs, pausing when I reached the top step.

 _I should just wait in the kitchen, but..._ I turned, leaning carefully against the wall to eavesdrop.

_I'd never done this before, especially not to Asra. Vague as he was, my master didn't lie to my face._

_Although he'd never done this before, either. And of all nights...None of it made sense._

Something cool brushed against my ankle, and I scooped the snake up. "Hello, Faust," I whispered, holding a finger to my lips, "Let's see what's going on."

Faust flicked out her tongue twice before curling up and around my shoulders. _Listen?_ "Exactly." I nodded, falling silent once more.

I could barely hear the whispered voices from my position. After a moment, I heard Inas, "-appreciate everything, but she thinks they can try again in a familiar setting, at the Masquerade." There was a rustle of cloth, and Asra's voice cut across, "She's not strong enough yet, they-" I frowned.

_Who were they talking about?_

"The letters aren't cutting it anymore, Asra." Inas's response was sharp, "It's been years. They deserve the chance to try."

Faust shifted against my neck, and I absentmindedly ran a finger across her scales.

"I said no."

I was shocked by the uncharacteristic harshness.

"The last time we tried that, she -" He stopped suddenly, and I froze in place. _Time to make my escape._

Heart pounding, I ran up the last step, holding onto Faust to keep her from falling. Once upstairs, I fell into the nearest chair, hand over my heart.

_What had they been talking about? Why did he sound so...angry?_

It was about as common for Asra to lose his temper as it was for Faust to sprout wings and fly.

 _The only other time I'd seen him genuinely angry, or even close to it, was when I had asked him about Julian._ My stomach did a backflip. _How would he react when I told him about tonight? About my...adventures, with him?_

The metallic taste returned to my lips, and I ran a finger across them, as if I could simply wipe away the bitterness.

_As if he ever told me the full truth. Half-answers and elusive statements that didn't quite make sense...constantly dancing around the topic, especially when it came to my memories._

Faust slipped off my shoulders to curl on the table, ruby eyes watching. I automatically smiled down at her, thoughts racing. _Dancing…_

"He still owes me that dance." Suddenly, my vision was blurring once more. Julian's intense expression from the theater came to mind, half-lidded eyes and parted lips that had drawn me in, ever closer..."That-that idiot," I wrapped my arms around me, taking little comfort in the constriction.

"Talking about me?" An amused voice brushed against the shell of my ear; I jumped, hitting my elbow on the corner of the chair. "Damn it," I winced, cradling the appendage as the bolt of pain raced up my arm.

Asra's dimples vanished immediately, dropping to my side with a worried expression. "I'm sorry," He gingerly took the elbow with both hands, "Here, hold still."

Before I could protest - _I only jammed my elbow, it wasn't a big deal_ \- the magician was already whispering a spell, the warmth of his magic spreading across the skin. Within seconds, the pain was replaced by an almost fuzzy comfort that lingered in the corners of my brain, even easing the ache in my chest.

"Oh, um, thank you."

He smiled up at me, chuckling at my flustered expression. "Of course. Now," With a brush of his fingers, Asra rose to his feet, "let me get the tea for us, and you can tell me about tonight."

_He wasn't going to even comment on what just happened with Inas?_

"So," I leaned backward, watching him cross the room, "What did Inas want? Everything alright?" _Worth a try, at least._

With his back to me, I could only observe his stilted movements and Faust's reaction. The snake tilted her head, slowly looking between the two of us.

"She's fine, just...relaying a message." Asra commented in a deceptively light tone, setting the lid onto the small pot, effectively cutting off the rising steam. _And any chance at an honest answer._

On another night, I might've pressed him for more information, fruitless as the endeavor often was.

_But not tonight._

Nevertheless, I made a mental note to ask Inas about it. _Maybe she'd let something slip._

 _There_ had _been something she wanted to tell me, earlier today._

After that, it was quiet for a while.

I picked at my nails, trying to think about anything except him. _Did Julian have someone to talk to? Mazelinka, or maybe Portia? Better question...would he actually go to them for help?_

Considering everything I knew about him thus far, it seemed unlikely.

Asra nimbly carried the tea to the table, placing one of the chipped mugs in front of me. At the sight of the painted clay, I shook my head, "You're still using that? I thought I'd successfully hidden that in the back."

His dimples deepened as he carefully set down the aforementioned pot, "What's wrong with it? You made it for us to use."

Groaning, I sunk into my seat, "Back when I could barely even walk or talk. It's…" Waving a hand in the teapot's general direction, I eyed the clumsy blue flowers and vines, "Messy." _Just like everything else in my life._

Asra laughed softly at my reaction while he poured two cups of steaming jasmine. Faust immediately curled around his mug, eyes closing in relish at the heat it provided.

He leaned back in his chair, an expectant smile on his lips. _He was still wearing his maroon scarf...must've only just returned._

Instead of addressing the one-eyed elephant in the room, I said, "When did you get back? I wasn't expecting you for at least another week or so."

His smile tightened, but held in place. Eyes dropping to Faust's prone form, he answered, "Not long. I told you I'd be back soon. I...didn't want to leave you here, alone."

Picking up the painted cup, I hid my expression in the swirls of steam.

_I was always alone, Asra. You made sure of that._

Something physically _hurt_ at the thought.

I cared about Asra, deeply. _Of course I did._

He was...my family, my confidant. _So, why was I so...resentful?_

 _I was never good at letting things slide compared to Asra, especially when it came to my emotions._ He once joked that I reacted with my heart first, which...wasn't entirely false.

When I sighed, my breath swept the steam away.

"Well, I'm glad you're here." Lowering the cup, I met his piercing violet gaze, "Really."

_Before meeting Julian, it felt like all I had was Asra and the shop. My own little world within Versuvia, blissfully ignorant of anything else._

_True, I was more often than not alone, but when the pale-haired magician was here, everything was just a little brighter._

_Other people, like Inas and Nasir, passed through occasionally but never stayed._

_I thought Julian might've - the city seemed to come to life before us, unfolding in wild antics and ridiculous twists of fate - then tonight happened._

Asra remained quiet, patient as ever. I swallowed, dropping my eyes to the swirling tea between my hands.

_The question now, was...how much should I tell him?_


	22. Julian, Book 9: The Hermit, Sugar and Spice

Over the past three years, I learned to recognize the tell-tale signs that Asra was home from a trip.

Aside from the obvious, the magician had a tendency to leave his possessions in random spots, often hanging his scarf over the nearest crystal ball or chair. _And consequently, almost forgetting it before he left, again._ Most of the time, it was endearing.

Other days, it was simply a reminder that his presence was temporary, not worth returning something to its proper place. Moving onto the next project before he had even finished the first.

During darker moods, when my thoughts would be tainted with sharp words and pointless accusations, I used to believe that's all I was to him.

An unfinished project, something that held him back.

An unwanted obligation.

_Incomplete._

I was used to it, of course.

I was adept at meals for one and sleeping in a bed built for two. Asra almost always left before sunrise, leaving nothing but an indent in the mattress and a heavy heart.

This morning, however, brought a change to our usual routine.

The bed was still warm, a combination of tea and citrus lingering in the air. Slowly blinking, I listened to the world around me, birds chirping outside the open window.

On the windowsill, flowers stretched towards the morning light. _Asra must've watered them..._ I grimaced at the dead leaves around the base of the plant. _Maybe I should ask Portia for advice when Asra leaves again._

Muted noises came from downstairs, a familiar voice humming an off-beat tune. _Wait, was he...still here?_ Yawning, I reluctantly left the warmth of the blankets, returning the fallen pillows. _Odd._

As I washed my face - Asra left a pitcher on the table with a warmed cloth - I mentally reviewed the previous night's conversation.

While I had been initially hesitant about discussing Julian, especially given Asra's dislike for the doctor, he had insisted on listening.

_Whatever's troubling you._

He remained quiet for the story, small reactions occasionally slipping past his mask. Regardless of my intentions, I told him more than I meant to, worn out by the emotional and physical toll of the day.

_I skipped the part where we shared a bed. For some reason, I doubted Asra wanted to hear about that._

Afterwards, he was silent.

Asra had stared, deep in thought, into his half-empty mug. His black-tipped thumb ran absentmindedly over the rim. With a sigh, those brilliant violet eyes met mine. "That sounds like Ilya." _He called him Ilya? I thought only his family referred to Julian as such..._

"He took an entire day to end it?" Asra's fingers tightened around the cup, which groaned in response.

"Essentially." I nodded, draining the remainder of my tea.

Slumping backwards into his seat, he fell silent again. "What is it, mas-Asra?" I quickly corrected myself, setting down the cup with a muted clink.

_I could only imagine what was going through his mind. Julian, the man he had supposedly cursed, the one he had once been friends with._

I remembered Julian's copy of our key, wondering how close they must've been for Asra to trust him like that.

"Were you two…" Asra refused to look at me, instead watching Faust slowly curl around his arm, "even really together?"

I frowned at darker emotions swirling along the edges of his aura. _Frustration? Guilt and...something else._ I couldn't place the final color, a sickly shade between green and brown.

Giving up on the lesser mystery, I focused on the question that hung between us. "I...don't know." It was the best answer I could give, an honest one.

_Desire and reality didn't always coincide. I've learned that much._

I had thought about the past few days with the charismatic, stubborn ex-plague doctor.

Frustrating as he occasionally was, Julian had always been honest with me, always willing to share the seemingly endless appreciation for life, whether it be a drink from the tavern or the wind passing us by as we ran through the city. _Just as quickly as he'd come, changing...well, everything...he was gone._

Ridiculous as it was, I knew I would miss the doctor's enigmatic presence. _The world seemed to come alive, bursting with color and music that I hadn't noticed before._ The ache returned, so I turned my focus to the magician before me.

A knot had formed between Asra's pale brows, white curls concealing his eyes. "Ilya…" It was unnerving to hear the nickname spoken with such disdain. "The only thing he loves more than drama is his own suffering." His eyes flashed, meeting mine. "And he's determined to chase both."

Despite the physical warmth from the tea, I shivered, smoothing down goosebumps.

After that, whatever darkness that laid in Asra's musings were suppressed, concealed with a smile and the excuse to fetch more tea. I still felt slightly ashamed that I'd simply...let him, too wrapped up in my own selfish worries. The strange moment with Inas wasn't forgotten but instead stored in the back of my mind, alongside the rest of the oddities I'd noticed that didn't quite make sense.

The rest of the night was easier, both of us shifting into more comfortable roles; Asra relayed stories about his latest travels while I quietly listened, making the occasional comment. He had even presented me with a small token from somewhere north, though he appeared strangely reluctant to do so.

After our conversation, however, that murky shade to his aura never completely vanished, simply lingering along the margins.

Returning to the present, I twisted the thin gold band around my middle finger.

Like the rest of my jewelry, the ring fit perfectly. Secretly, I suspected that Asra placed a fitting charm on everything. _Or just knew my sizes._

Shrugging off the memory - _today would be a good day, I would make sure of it_ \- I stretched my arms above my head, padding downstairs to find the source of the delicious smell.

"Good morning." Asra glanced towards the door to shoot me a smile.

"Morning." I leaned against the doorframe, crossing my arms across my chest, "What're you making?"

With his back turned, hands busy with something, he hummed, "Why don't you take a guess?"

 _A bit early to be evasive._ Frowning at the mental commentary, I moved closer, inhaling deeply.

The morning air was rich with spices, a fine balance between sweet and bitter. The cardamom was easy enough to recognize, though I couldn't tell if it was from the dish or Asra himself. _He always smelled like that, a faint smoky scent with hints of fresh citrus and an underlying sweetness._

 _Julian reminded me of a library, funnily enough. Like parchment and -_ I took another experimental sniff to distract myself from that particular line of thought, ignoring Asra's amused look.

"Is that saffron?"

His dimples emerged with a silent nod, body shifting to conceal the mysterious creation. Leaning against the opposite counter, I absentmindedly began braiding the knotted waves that hung over my shoulders, pretending that I wasn't trying to peek.

A low noise came from my right, and I glanced down with a smile, "Morning, Faust. Do you know what he's making?"

Her tongue flickered thoughtfully, bright eyes looking up at me from the counter. _Favorite._

I grinned, an idea immediately sprouting from the blunt hint. Asra narrowed his eyes at Faust as I tied off the braid, letting its weight settle at my back.

"Khabeesa, huh? It's been awhile since we've had that."

"Aren't you supposed to be _my_ familiar?" Asra sighed, his smile contrasting the despondent tone.

"Nope," I gently scooped up the purple-scaled snake, running a finger across her head, "She prefers me, now. Isn't that right?"

As Faust relished the attention, leaning into the touch with half-lidded eyes, Asra laughed. Shaking his head, he watched us with a fond smile, "I don't blame her. I would do the same thing." The remark was unnerving in its intensity, amethyst eyes lingering on the stray hairs around my face.

Clearing my throat, I carefully placed Faust down, "So, what's the occasion?"

"Occasion?" Asra seemed to return from whatever musings he'd been temporarily lost in, brow furrowing in confusion. I nodded towards the half-made breakfast, a bowl of rosewater and a few other ingredients sitting beside empty bowls.

"We usually only have khabeesa on my birthday."

 _Celebrate!_ Faust chimed in behind us, head bobbing happily.

I arched an eyebrow at the magician, "And what are we celebrating?"

_It wasn't his or Faust's birthday...right? No, his birthday was only a few months ago._

Before Asra could answer, a small bag on the counter caught my attention.

Ignoring the curious pairs of eyes, I nimbly reached past him to pick up the satchel. _Something about it was familiar, just on the tip of my tongue._

Without hesitation, I opened the pouch and was abruptly greeted by a strong, earthy scent. _Myrrh._

I heard, more than felt, myself gasp, something slipping from my hands.

Sounds of the marketplace and a low, gruff voice rang in my ears, followed by the haunting rattle of chains. _Forest green eyes stared just past my shoulder, broad shoulders blocking out the sunlight_..."I remember." I covered my mouth, heart beating wildly against my ribcage, "Asra, I remember!"

_I remembered something! By the stars, I recovered a memory, with no headaches or pain!_

_This was amazing! This was -_ Asra seemed to pale, hands gripping the half-open satchel.

"You...do?" He croaked, looking less than pleased. _In fact, he looked positively nauseous._

My wide smile faltered, shoulders slumping. "Y-Yeah, I remember -" I paused, frowning.

_I didn't actually know the man's name. He didn't exactly introduce himself between all the vague warnings and general grumpiness._

Under Asra's strange scrutiny, doubt began to creep in, eliciting a wave of heat to my cheeks. _Why was he looking at me like that?_

_Wasn't this a good thing?_

"I, erm, I remember your…" I thought back to the unusual interaction in the market, the large stranger cloaked in chains and cloth, "your friend? He was kinda...broad, I guess. Didn't say much besides that you sent him to check up on me." _He was rather skittish for such a large man, and surprisingly adamant about not being friends. Shy?_

_No, I was used to wary looks from the merchants. His dislike felt...personal._

Biting my lip, I watched Asra quietly deposit the pouch onto the counter, exhaling slowly. Faust curled up and around his shoulder, tongue flickering in an almost soothing manner against his skin. "Asra?"

"The myrrh," His voice was a near whisper when he finally spoke, eyes focusing on the bag in question, "It...helps people remember him."

The corner of his lips curled upwards, ever so slightly, "Guess he didn't really want you to forget."

Frowning, I glanced between the spices and the weary man before me. _Remembering only created more questions, not answers._

"Asra," Gently, as if any sudden movement would startle him, I moved close enough to take his hands in mine. _Just as we'd done a million times before, usually for reassurement. It seemed...fitting._ "What's wrong? Isn't this a good thing?"

Our eyes met, purple meeting green, "Actually, Asra...why did the myrrh only return that memory?"

"Better yet," I continued, "How did I forget? It was barely a week ago -" A chill ran up my spine as my hands instinctively tightened around Asra's limp ones.

"Am I…" Panic reared its ugly head, burying itself deep within my chest, "Am I forgetting more as time goes on?"

Frankly, the thought had never occurred to me before.

Faced with the mere notion, I found it increasingly hard to breathe, fighting against the gradual constriction of my lungs. _Would I begin to lose more and more memories until there's nothing and no one -_ "Cassandra," I hadn't realized Asra had moved until my face was buried in the crook of his neck.

 _Would I forget_ him _too?_

One hand rubbed slow circles against my back, another wrapped comfortingly around my waist. "You're not losing any more memories," Asra murmured in my ear, gentle despite his iron grip, "You're okay, Cass, just take deep breaths. In…"

Obediently, I sucked in a trembling breath, mind racing as I tried to recover from the whirlwind of emotions.

"And out." Asra murmured, hand warm against my bare shoulders, "There you go."

Carefully, he pulled back, amethyst eyes locked onto mine, "See? You're alright." I exhaled again, nodding slowly.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I found myself sitting at the kitchen table, sunlight spilling through the open window.

Asra set steaming bowls in front of us, along with two cups of chamomile. Wrapping my hands around the mug, I nodded, "Thanks." Instead of sitting across from me, I watched him drag his chair to my side.

"So much for my personal record," I wryly commented, eliciting laughter from the magician. "It was almost a full year, too."

I paused, thinking back to the previous week. In particular, the memory of crying against Julian's chest came to mind.

Feeling heat rise to my face, I lifted the cup, "Well, maybe not a year."

 _By the stars, I was a mess._ I had already known as much, but it was still mortifying.

"Healing isn't a linear process." Asra shook his head, a half-hearted smile on his lips, "After...everything, it makes sense that there'd be...triggers."

We fell quiet again, the occasional clink of our spoons against the bowl. _Triggers, huh?_

I'd never thought of that before. _How would I know what and wouldn't be one?_

 _Merely talking about my missing memories didn't automatically elicit panic. After all, I hadn't freaked out like_ this _when I told Julian about my past._

"Thank you." I finally said, setting down my utensil. "For breakfast and, well," I trailed off, gesturing towards myself.

_Just because Asra was used to handling my...moments...didn't mean he should be obligated to._

My thoughts betrayed me with the mental image of Julian's expression after I had revealed the truth about myself. _It was more than pity in that grey-speckled eye...Recognition. Empathy._

_At the time, I hadn't felt scared. Nervous, maybe, but not scared. I wasn't as fearful around Julian, for some strange reason….not that it matters now._

"Think nothing of it." Asra leaned back in his seat, smiling, "After all, the khabeesa was Faust's idea." I raised an eyebrow at the familiar curled around his shoulders.

If I hadn't known her as well as I did, it would've been strange to see the snake shake her head slowly. _Asra._

His cheeks darkened, a finger gently pressing against the tip of her snout.

"Okay, so maybe it wasn't." I laughed softly as our eyes met, "I figured it'd be nice to have something familiar after everything. You've been...busy, with running the shop and helping the Countess with her investigation."

"Well, the shop hasn't been open much this week," I mused, running a finger over the painted flowers on my cup.

_Given how often I've been out of the neighborhood - whether it be the Palace or somewhere in the South End - it'd be incredibly difficult to keep normal hours._

As if reading my mind, Asra shrugged, "We've got enough to keep us afloat, enough to close now and again."

_That much was true. Thanks to Asra's expertise and training, we were able to store up enough savings to keep the shop from going under._

_Worst case scenario, of course._

I took another sip of the cooled tea, smiling, "Stole a peek at the books, then?"

Faust lowered her head against his shoulder, eyes fluttering closed. Asra frowned, stroking her brightly colored scales, "You know I trust you, Cass, but I wanted to check -" "It's fine, Asra." I couldn't help but grin at the fidgeting magician, ignoring the weight in my chest.

_He trusted me with the shop, but not my memories. Not the truth._

Something in my expression must've been obvious, for he leaned back with a heavy sigh, "So...you probably have some questions."

I was tempted to laugh at the understatement, returning the weary smile.

"Asra," The heat from breakfast had settled pleasantly, warming me from the inside out, "Why did…" _How should I word it?_ "Why did I forget your friend, and only him? Does it...does it have something to do with my missing memories?"

As if in reminder, my heart began to beat harder against my chest. I was about to ask another question - _why had he reacted that way to my admission? What had he been so scared of me remembering?_ \- but Asra's demeanor gave me pause.

I pressed my lips together, pouring another cup of tea to keep the endless thoughts from slipping free.

"It's not you. The man you saw…" His dimples re-emerged, "His name is Muriel, a dear friend of mine since childhood."

"He did say that you two knew each other." I studied the various expressions crossing his face, falling quiet to allow him to continue.

_They'd known each other since they were kids...That's sweet._

Asra smiled, "Muriel is...under a spell. It makes people forget. People can see and talk to him, but don't remember him when he leaves."

"The myrrh circumvents it, in a sense."

I frowned. _I knew of a spell that achieved something similar and didn't require much energy, but for it to be permanent…_

 _At least_ _I wasn't forgetting anything else._

"Does that mean...I've met him before?"

With my returned memories of the brooding man, he almost felt...familiar. _Like I had seen him, many times._

It was all too easy to imagine Muriel at the shop or in the marketplace, though the very idea seemed odd. _Asra's friend didn't exactly come across as a social butterfly...not that I was one to talk._

Asra hesitated, then nodded, "You have."

It took a moment to recover, my stomach flipping at the seemingly simple confirmation. _I was so used to him dancing around the topic._

Smiling wryly, I added, "He didn't seem to like me. Was it because of something I'd done...you know, in the past?"

My heart beat a borderline violent rhythm against my chest as I leaned closer. _He might...he might actually answer._

_I might actually learn the truth about my memories!_

I wasn't sure what brought on Asra's sudden willingness - _maybe it was out of pity_ \- but I didn't want to look the gift horse in the mouth.

Asra reached across the table to cover my hand, squeezing it gently. "Of course not, Cassandra. Muriel just…" "Doesn't like people?" I chimed in, returning the smile.

_It was more than being anti-social, but I knew that look. If Asra knew the reason, he didn't plan on telling me._

Although it shouldn't have been much of a surprise, the realization soured any amusement from the situation. With a small sigh, I gingerly pulled my hand free to collect the dirty dishes. Asra moved to stop me, protests forming on his lips, but I shook my head.

"I've got it." I shot him a smile, "Least I can do after you made breakfast."

Something flashed across his features, replaced by a smile, "If you insist." Despite our attempt at levity, I was sure that even Faust could feel the shift in the air.

Even with my back turned - washing the dishes with practiced ease - I could _feel_ Asra's wall return, filling the empty space between us.

_Guess there's a limit to his honesty...though I was lucky to get as much information as I did._

His expression when I had declared that I remembered lingered in the back of my mind, the clear panic in the tightening of his fists and sudden tension to his shoulders. _What did he think I had remembered?_ It didn't take much to realize that it was likely what kept us apart.

 _Whatever dark secret lay in my past, in_ our _past..._

"So," I cleared my throat, the sound echoing across the quiet room, "when're you leaving?"

I heard, more than saw, Asra shift, the scrape of the chair against wood. Setting down the soapy bowl, I turned my head to raise an eyebrow at the magician.

Asra was already on his feet, wide eyes focused on my figure. _Did he really think he was being subtle?_

I nodded towards the kitchen door, where his bag was already packed and ready. Turning my attention back to the dishes, I waited for the inevitable response.

"I…" Asra sighed, not moving from his position by the table, "I planned to stay longer, but there's some...unexpected business. I would bring you, but -"

"You're going somewhere I can't follow."

I was glad he couldn't see me rolling my eyes, the weight in my chest returned to its rightful place, "I know, Asra."

 _I was tempted to call him Master, almost purely out of spite._ I grimaced at the very idea, guilt and something slimy coiling in my gut.

Muted footsteps grew closer until the tanned magician stood a few feet away, leaning cautiously against the counter.

I kept my eyes on the dishes, rinsing off the final cup. _Those puppy dog eyes were practically burning a hole in my side._

"Really, Asra, I'll be fine."

I shook my head, frowning when the mug was plucked out of my damp hands. "Hey," My mild protests elicited a slight smile as Asra set the cup down, bone dry. _He was always impatient when it came to chores, using magic as a shortcut._

Sighing, I turned to face him, arms crossed, "This is about what Inas said last night, isn't it?"

His hand tightened on the counter, but I kept going before he could give me some vague non-answer. "I know you can't tell me," _Or won't,_ a voice oh-so-helpfully added, "but at least spare me the dignity of pretending it's something else."

His shoulders slumped, and he reluctantly nodded. Keeping his eyes on the counter, Asra said, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

Violet eyes met green. "You'll...you'll be alright, right?"

I bit my lip, studying the pain etched across his face. _I couldn't tell if he was referring to last night with...with Julian or about the mini-revelation this morning. Maybe both._

"I'll be alright." My lips curled upwards in a hopefully reassuring manner, but I didn't move any closer. Tearing my gaze away, I added, "I'm glad you stayed for breakfast this time."

_I still wasn't sure about his motivations behind the khabeesa. Was it the same thing that ushered him out of Vesuvia once more?_

Asra returned the gesture, the tension draining from his body, "I'll leave Faust with you again." The smile shifted to something more genuine as he tilted his head in the snake's direction, "I think she'd rather stay with you, anyways."

The forlorn edge of his voice spurred me forwards, moving close enough to nudge his shoulder. "As if I could complete with the connection that you have with Faust. She's been your familiar for what, seven years now?"

Across the room, Faust bobbed her head in confirmation, tongue flickering happily. _Friend!_

The magician rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling. His hand stilled, eyes widening with a sudden thought.

"That reminds me," He straightened, crossing the room in easy strides.

"What?" Curious, I drifted after him.

Asra was knelt by his bag, seemingly rummaging for something in particular. "This," He stood as I approached, holding it out to me.

"Your deck?" I stared at the familiar cards, glancing up at Asra in surprise, "But you just got them back."

_He had been so relieved to have them back in his possession. Why was he returning them to me?_

Asra placed the cards in my hands, warm grip lingering, "They said...it's important to stay with you, for now."

"Really?" I frowned. _That didn't seem to bode well._

_Why wouldn't the cards want to remain with their creator?_

Asra shrugged, hands dropping to his sides.

For someone so insistent, the Arcana were strangely quiet. _Everyone was being frustratingly vague._

With a huff, I carefully pocketed the deck.

"Well, I'll take care of them for you while you're gone."

"Thank you." Asra sighed, smiling.

The magician left shortly after with a brief hug and the promise to return soon.

"Say hello to Inas for me." I relished Asra's momentary surprise at the comment before he recovered, laughing. "I'll let her know."

Asra paused at the door, hand on the frame. _Like he didn't want to leave._

With a final smile, I gestured towards the door, "Go on, I'll be fine here. Herbs to dry, customers to help." _A man's innocence to prove._

"Be careful, Cassandra." Was the last thing Asra said, expression torn between concern and affection.

"You too, Asra."

It was easier to ignore the gaping chasm in my chest when he nodded one last time, slipping out the back door. The _thud_ of the thick wood seemed to vibrate through my limbs, the shop suddenly much emptier than it had been before.

 _Alone, again. Alone, as always..._ Shaking off the heavy thoughts, I pushed myself off of the doorframe to smile down at the snake waiting in the kitchen.

"Ready, Faust? We've got a busy day ahead of us."

Faust bobbed her head. _Help!_

"Exactly." I laughed, scooping up the familiar, "Even if he doesn't want help."

_A promise is a promise, after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day late, but here nevertheless! It'll diverge from canon from here on out, but there'll be familiar elements as the story goes on. As always, let me know what you think in the comments below. 
> 
> What are Inas and Asra up to? Why do the Arcana want to stay with Cassandra? Most importantly, will Cassandra be able to break Julian out of his "ouroboros of self-flagellation"? 
> 
> Stay tuned.


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